Actuallyadhd - Tumblr Posts

I got 1 task done today. I emptied the big trash can in my bedroom. That's one less fork to deal with.

I have severe executive dysfunction. I've been dealing with it by having myself do one small task a day. So far it's helped a lot. By doing it this way my brain doesn't freak out trying to tackle everything at once.

I got my inspiration for it from this Donald Duck comic:

I hate ADHD because I haven’t brushed my teeth in a few days and ouch there’s a part of my gums that really hurt :(

Sir that’s my emotional support hyperfixation

how do people?? not panic when they have a question?? like?? you just ask it??? how homie?? how do you do that without pancking????

same goes with homework?? how do you just do it?? i cant even do it when theres a deadline?? what??

petition to make those long blog posts simplified for folks who cant focus that long with em

like the photo describy thing? that but it simplifies long posts.

It feels insane to finally have this put into words, even if its by someone else

idk about you guys, but i find dating and anything related to it so confusing!

like i’m generally quite good at inter-personal relations with allistics when it comes to friendships and other casual things where you kind of know how much you should expect and how much you can expect from the other person, but when it comes to any kind of possible romantic relation, i’m at a complete loss. i can never figure out how much i can and should expect from the other person, and i’m always terrified of overwhelming them and scaring them away because i like them so much (which has happened so many times that it’s made me scared of showing any interest at all now), and it’s so frustrating!

i hate the games that come with dating and flirting; ignoring texts to not seem eager, or pretending like you don’t wanna hang out with them even though they’re all you can think about. it would be so much easier if we could just be like “we both like each other, and would like to start dating, so how about we find a way to make it happen” but if you do that now, the other person might lose interest because you’re ‘too available’ which is apparently just as bad (if not worse) than being ‘too emotionally unavailable’, so it’s like this super fine balance of showing interest but not too much interest, and it is EXHAUSTING! especially when you already struggle with social bonds because then you end up overanalyzing every single thing you do, and if it doesn’t work out you probably end up blaming yourself for doing something wrong.

at least that’s what i do...

Learning with ADHD

ADHD can and does cause memory issues. It can affect short term memory (eg, remembering phone numbers for a bit), working memory (ie, manipulating information, like doing sums in your head) and finally, recall (bring back up the information stored).

Of the three, issues with recall feel like the worst (to me) as it means that we have difficulty bringing back stuff we should already know. It’s frustrating cause we know the information deep down, we just struggle with recalling it when we want to.

This friend I have known for years now? Forgot their name again.

My house number? Forgot it again.

The name of the restaurant I have been to multiple times? Nope.

One of ADHDers’ most common catchphrases (“umm, what was just saying?”) is because of this recall problem. We get distracted mid sentence and can’t recall what we were saying.

ADHD in general, from concentration to these memory problems, can make learning very challenging. And it certainly did for me until I found a strategy that worked (for me).

Imagine you lost something in your house. The common advice given would be to retrace your steps. This involves going down paths you took, chained one after the other to finally reach what you were looking for. The strategy is that even if you don’t remember the final destination, you can retrace your steps to recall it.

My strategy involves exactly that, with the metaphorical house being our minds.

A fact or a piece of information is easily lost. To make it easier to find, you have to connect it to other pieces of information. I see it in my head as a massive spider web where all interconnected information is connected. So even if I forget one piece of information on that web, I can navigate down other paths to help me find it.

So a real example is when I needed to learn about electricity generation (I am an energy engineer). I couldn’t just learn about generators and have it stick in my head. So what I did instead was start from the basics… from how electrons work. Then how wires work. Then how AC and DC electricity works.. And so on. So now, even if I forget a detail about a generator, I can essentially start from scratch to re-remember it.

Yes, it does take much longer to learn but the information is stored and recalled more solidly.

This is the method I use to study and learn that has taken me from failing everything to getting As and Bs. I start from the very basics and build my knowledge up like a web, making sure to take time to understand in the process.

Of course, I won’t claim this will work for everyone, nor that this is the one true method. But it worked very well for me, and I hope that even if it didn’t help directly, it can give you some helpful information.

Literally just had a conversation with my situation about this. It's so hard, especially when you work a full time job and take care of a third party. I hope with time and feeling like I have a schedule again, and a better one, it will get better. I can move through the paralyzing debt that ADHD, being one of many mental disabilities I have, puts me in. I'm still growing, we're all still growing. And we're never grown from learning, connecting, or doing anything we want and still feel at peace with the world I've created for myself.

silverware theory

i'm sure most of y'all have heard of spoon theory, the idea that the amount of "spoons", aka resources/energy, someone has, determines how much someone can do in a certain period of time(this mostly applies to chronically ill, neurodivergent, and mentally ill folks as far as i know)

spoons only cover energy though. what about the other stuff? yeah, there's more silverware! fun!! /hsarc

it can be kinda hard to read a wholeass article so i tried to make each concept more bite sized(pun not intended lol). feel free to let me know if this is too wordy! constructive feedback is important after all.

spoons:

-you have a limited number of spoons every day

-it's pretty much impossible to gauge how many spoons you have starting out, as well as exactly how many spoons a certain activity may take

-EVERYTHING requires spoons, no matter how enjoyable it is

-sometimes you can recover spoons by doing restful/restorative activities(sleeping, reading a favorite book, playing with your cat, etc)

-the same activity can take different amounts of spoons day to day

-if you use up all your spoons one day, you'll probably have less spoons the next day(or longer)

-recovering spoons takes time

-you can't control how many spoons you have. it's not a matter of "laziness"

forks:

-comes from the phrase "stick a fork in me"

-forks are everyday stressors/inconveniences ranging anywhere from needing to pee to someone intentionally triggering you

-the amount of forks you can take varies like spoons

-one large fork like getting triggered can ruin your whole day

-same with several smaller forks(think "the straw that broke the camel's back")

-having lower fork tolerance doesn't make you weak

-it just means getting stabbed with forks sucks

knives:

-can refer to overexertion, pushing past your limits

-i've seen it used to refer to trauma as well*

-not everyone can handle knives because they are extremely detrimental

-knives hurt really bad and often cause lasting and/or permanent damage

-AVOID KNIVES IF YOU CAN

-if there's a super important reason behind the knife, be prepared to staunch the (metaphorical) bleeding

-using excessive knives is ill advised

(this article beats around the bush a lot so it was kinda hard to glean much)

*i've only ever seen the trauma knife theory in RPG settings. it made sense to me, but should be taken with a bowl of

[ID: a digital poster from mentalhealthathome.org titled The Mental Illness Cutlery Drawer. it reads spoons: resources you have to spend. forks: external stressors. knives: traumas. whisks: sources of agitation and overwhelm. meat tenderizer: beat the crap out of you, and just keep on beating. END ID]

stimming when happy: hehe!!! This blanket is so fuzzy and soft!!!! I like to touch and hear things! I'm going to gently rock a little bit but not too much and softly nibble on a chewie

stimming when upset: I am going to throw myself at a wall full force because I need to feel alive

hey y'all!!! my last spur of the moment review did really well and people seemed to enjoy it, so here's a review of my second order I did from Stimtastic! (I got this stuff only a few days after the last order, it's been a while oops)

This is the order! I also got a reversible sequin bag and another of the brushes, which I gave to some friends. Overall I enjoy the things from this order much more than the first (tho I like both) since I had a better idea of what type of stim toys I liked.

The brush is AMAZING. It's so stimmy!! The texture is phenomenal and it also makes a really satisfying noise when you quickly run your hands over it! It's also very fun to flap with; In my next order I definitely want to get a second one so I can flap with both hands at once with it. The only downside is that it gets dirty quite easily, especially with hair. It can be washed pretty easily though, after all it is a brush!! This thing is definitely a 9.5/10, the half point taken off because of dirtyness.

Wacky tracks! You can get these from other places too, but I still included it in my order on a whim. I'm glad I did! It's one of my favorite stim toys I own by far, mostly because of the noise it makes. I also got lucky and got one in my two favorite colors lol. It started a bit stiff and hard to move, but after a few days of playing with it I no longer needed to use so much force. 10/10, I'll probably get another one in the same colors to make it longer.

Silicone straw! I got this because I have a bad habit of chewing up plastic straws, and hey it helps reduce waste! I like that it came with a brush (not in the pic) and a nice little case! The main downside of the straw is it has a chemical taste to it that hasn't gone away with washing. It's pretty noticable when chewing :/. Still, for only a dollar, it's pretty good! 5/10

Finally, the soft chewelry bundle! I loved how cheap this bundle is; It's only 12 dollars! The tag is my favorite, since it's so soft and flexible I can chew on it without any fatigue and it's nice to suck on. The dulcimer is very nice for molar chewing, though mine has a slight defect on the underside that gives it a bad texture so I don't use it as much as the tag. The tube is very springy and makes a nice sound, though it's hard to chew on without getting spit all over you due to its shape!! Overall these are very nice chewies for soft chewers like me, 8/10 (the tag is a 10/10 though!)

Overall this purchase was very good! I highly recommend Stimtastic, their items are high quality and very well priced!

The Slightly Unnerving Carrot Review

I got this weird carrot stress toy at Menard's a few days ago for like 2 dollars, and honestly, despite it being a tad bit cursed visually, it's quickly become one of my favorite things to stim with.

The outside of the carrot is a smooth silicone texture, though it is a bit sticky. It doesn't leave any residue on your hands, but it does attract dust and pet hair, so you'll need to wash it pretty regularly. Perhaps the baby powder trick that works with mochi squishies would work on it?

The inside is filled with sand, and the whole thing holds whatever shape you put it into. It takes a bit of skill to get it back to its original shape but it isn't too hard to do. It makes a delightful crunchy sound and feeling that I really enjoy! It is also pretty heavy due to being filled with sand, so if you like weighted toys it's pretty decent for that too.

Despite it being pretty cheaply made, I can't deny how much I like this thing. I just really like crunchy stims,,,,,

Overall I give this a 7/10, taking away some points due to the stickyness.

(p.s. Though the silicone is pretty durable, I wouldn't recommend this for aggressive stimming since I don't know how much it can take! You can find this and the banana version of it in a lot of stores, they're pretty easy to find.)

Simpl Dimpl Review

This is one of my favorite small stim toys! The Simpl Dimpl is comprised of two silicone dimples in a hard white plastic casing. You can poke and push them back and forth similar to bubble wrap. They make a satisfying pop sound as they do.

The Simpl Dimpl is a smaller version of the very similar Dimpl made by the same company (Fat Brain Toys). Since the Dimpl was originally intended for infants, all the materials in it are easy to clean and safe to put in your mouth. I believe this is also true for the Simpl version, though I wouldn't recommend chewing it since I have seen reviews where the plastic casing can separate if put under repeated stress.

I really like this toy! I'm a big fan of auditory stims and the sound this thing makes is very satisfying. I do have to be careful of using it too much with one hand because it can rub the skin on my fingers raw. Since it's hard to pop the bubbles without making sound, I wouldn't recommend it for settings where you need to be silent.

Another downside is the price. These usually cost around 6-7 us dollars, which is pretty expensive for what it is. It can also be a bit difficult to find all the colors, I got mine from a Learning Express near my house.

Overall I give this an 8/10!

I'm expecting a package full of new stim toys today.... very excited to review them all

Ive decided to do stimtober! I normally do inktober, but I decided not to this year because it has always caused burnout. So I think a simple photo challenge of things I like will be nice!

Day 1- Squishy Toy. I got this as part of a mystery package from Therapy Shoppe. I don't really like it tbh, I'm not a fan of foam squishies in general, but it's okay to fiddle with for a few seconds at a time.

Stimtober Day 2- Soft Toy

I have many stuffed animals from over the years, but this is the only one I bought specifically for sensory purposes! Eggroll is a Warmies Husky, which means you can heat him up in the microwave! I'm not super find of lavender so the smell can be annoying but I love how long the heat lasts and how he's weighted!

Stimtober Day 3- Slime

I don't have many slime things oop... I have some thinking putty though! I'm not a huge fan of thinking putty because it's too thick for my tastes, but I really like this one because of how it looks! You can't tell I'm the picture but it has kind of an iridescent sheen to it

1, 5, and 6 please and thank you!!

 1. What does your sensory haven look like and what does it include?

I know this is a hypothetical question, but there's actually a very real place that I would consider a sensory haven for me! There's this place in St. Louis, Missouri called the City Museum and it is AMAZING. It's called a museum but it's really more of a 15 story tall jungle gym with lots of cool funky exhibits and activities. Some things I remember liking were a mock cave system, a human sized hamster wheel, a scrap metal jungle gym that was about 100 feet off the ground at many points, the world's largest pencil, and a very large wall panel full of doorknobs. I wouldn't recommend it for people who have lots of auditory sensory issues or are sensitive to bright light, but if you love climbing and swinging and just playing around, it is AWESOME. I really want to go back some day.

5. What kinds of music give you the most sensory input?

Pretty much just ... Any music I like lol. Mostly stuff with a super bouncy/dramatic rhythm. I play percussion, so I have a very deep physical reaction to rhythm even putting sensory stuff aside, so if it has a funky rhythm I'll definitely do some body stims along!

6. What is your best impromptu/unconventional stim toy?

I have so many from over the years... some examples are:

Any drumsticks or mallets. No I do not spin them like most percussionists do, I smack myself in the head, neck, and calves with them

Cats!!! They're soft and make cute noises! And the like to be pet so everyone wins!

My school laptop. Singing about the noise they make when you wack them shits is satisfying to me

Jewelry. this is a p common one but boy did I do it a lot as a kid

Plastic straws at restraunts

I used to take apart mechanical pencils and pens over and over as a kid

So there you go!!! Thank u so much for the ask, I really like answering these!!!

4, 13, 20 for the stim ask!

4. What is your least favorite scent?

The smell of chinese food really bothers me for some reason, I don't know why. There's some common spice in it that messes with me I guess.

13. If you could invent a stim toy, what would it be?

I'd love to figure out how to make a dough out if cornstarch that doesn't get dried out easily and doesn't leave so much residue. Cornstarch dough has an amazing texture but it's too messy to stim with regularly sadly.

20. What would be in your dream sensory space?

Remember those climbing ropes with knots in them a lot of school/private gyms have? I would love to have one of those over a soft surface so I could jump off of it. When I used to do gymnastics we had one that went up three whole stories and you could jump off on the top into a foam out and be completely fine.

Stimtober Day 4- Chewable

I own a lot of chewables, but one of my favorite is this cactus from stimtastic!