Spoon Theory - Tumblr Posts
Letters, we get letters ...
Or at least messages.
Look, I'm find if people send me messages, but don't expect a reply. It's not that I'm being rude to you, specifically, but I only have so many spoons and I'm most likely saving those to talk with my own people.
Especially don't follow up with a message a few hours later exclaiming how much it hurts or whatever to be kept waiting for a message. You do understand that I'm a complete stranger to you, right? That I don't owe you a reply? You're a demand on my time to be met (or not) at my own whim?
That gets a block, not a reply.
I know we talk a lot about keep jumping on boxes, but I'm honestly so grateful for Joe hills' knife theory; a variation on spoon theory that says once you're out of spoons, you can choose to take knives instead in the knowledge that it will hurt later. and the number of times I've told myself 'ok let's take the knives' is so high that I've found it really helps to acknowledge it. Thanks, Joe
Have I told y’all about my husband’s Fork Theory? If I did already, pretend I didn’t, I’m an old.
So the Spoon Theory is a fundamental metaphor used often in the chronic pain/chronic illness communities to explain to non-spoonies why life is harder for them. It’s super useful and we use that all the time. But it has a corollary. You know the phrase, “Stick a fork in me, I’m done,” right? Well, Fork Theory is that one has a Fork Limit, that is, you can probably cope okay with one fork stuck in you, maybe two or three, but at some point you will lose your shit if one more fork happens. A fork could range from being hungry or having to pee to getting a new bill or a new diagnosis of illness. There are lots of different sizes of forks, and volume vs. quantity means that the fork limit is not absolute. I might be able to deal with 20 tiny little escargot fork annoyances, such as a hangnail or slightly suboptimal pants, but not even one “you poked my trigger on purpose because you think it’s fun to see me melt down” pitchfork.
This is super relevant for neurodivergent folk. Like, you might be able to deal with your feet being cold or a tag, but not both. Hubby describes the situation as “It may seem weird that I just get up and leave the conversation to go to the bathroom, but you just dumped a new financial burden on me and I already had to pee, and going to the bathroom is the fork I can get rid of the fastest.”
"this user uses the fork/spoon theory" userbox made by me!!
feel free to use but keep my username visible ty!!! :3
silverware theory
i'm sure most of y'all have heard of spoon theory, the idea that the amount of "spoons", aka resources/energy, someone has, determines how much someone can do in a certain period of time(this mostly applies to chronically ill, neurodivergent, and mentally ill folks as far as i know)
spoons only cover energy though. what about the other stuff? yeah, there's more silverware! fun!! /hsarc
it can be kinda hard to read a wholeass article so i tried to make each concept more bite sized(pun not intended lol). feel free to let me know if this is too wordy! constructive feedback is important after all.
spoons:
-you have a limited number of spoons every day
-it's pretty much impossible to gauge how many spoons you have starting out, as well as exactly how many spoons a certain activity may take
-EVERYTHING requires spoons, no matter how enjoyable it is
-sometimes you can recover spoons by doing restful/restorative activities(sleeping, reading a favorite book, playing with your cat, etc)
-the same activity can take different amounts of spoons day to day
-if you use up all your spoons one day, you'll probably have less spoons the next day(or longer)
-recovering spoons takes time
-you can't control how many spoons you have. it's not a matter of "laziness"
forks:
-comes from the phrase "stick a fork in me"
-forks are everyday stressors/inconveniences ranging anywhere from needing to pee to someone intentionally triggering you
-the amount of forks you can take varies like spoons
-one large fork like getting triggered can ruin your whole day
-same with several smaller forks(think "the straw that broke the camel's back")
-having lower fork tolerance doesn't make you weak
-it just means getting stabbed with forks sucks
knives:
-can refer to overexertion, pushing past your limits
-i've seen it used to refer to trauma as well*
-not everyone can handle knives because they are extremely detrimental
-knives hurt really bad and often cause lasting and/or permanent damage
-AVOID KNIVES IF YOU CAN
-if there's a super important reason behind the knife, be prepared to staunch the (metaphorical) bleeding
-using excessive knives is ill advised
(this article beats around the bush a lot so it was kinda hard to glean much)
*i've only ever seen the trauma knife theory in RPG settings. it made sense to me, but should be taken with a bowl of
[ID: a digital poster from mentalhealthathome.org titled The Mental Illness Cutlery Drawer. it reads spoons: resources you have to spend. forks: external stressors. knives: traumas. whisks: sources of agitation and overwhelm. meat tenderizer: beat the crap out of you, and just keep on beating. END ID]
Have I told y’all about my husband’s Fork Theory? If I did already, pretend I didn’t, I’m an old.
So the Spoon Theory is a fundamental metaphor used often in the chronic pain/chronic illness communities to explain to non-spoonies why life is harder for them. It’s super useful and we use that all the time. But it has a corollary. You know the phrase, “Stick a fork in me, I’m done,” right? Well, Fork Theory is that one has a Fork Limit, that is, you can probably cope okay with one fork stuck in you, maybe two or three, but at some point you will lose your shit if one more fork happens. A fork could range from being hungry or having to pee to getting a new bill or a new diagnosis of illness. There are lots of different sizes of forks, and volume vs. quantity means that the fork limit is not absolute. I might be able to deal with 20 tiny little escargot fork annoyances, such as a hangnail or slightly suboptimal pants, but not even one “you poked my trigger on purpose because you think it’s fun to see me melt down” pitchfork.
This is super relevant for neurodivergent folk. Like, you might be able to deal with your feet being cold or a tag, but not both. Hubby describes the situation as “It may seem weird that I just get up and leave the conversation to go to the bathroom, but you just dumped a new financial burden on me and I already had to pee, and going to the bathroom is the fork I can get rid of the fastest.”
Being chronically ill means lying and saying “I’m fine” when people ask how you are, because if you’re honest about how you actually feel & your symptoms, it makes people uncomfortable.
You end up comforting them, when you’re probably the one who needs comforting 💗
Sometimes I'm like "wow I'm not even THAT disabled who am I kidding" and then I do a 2.5 hour shift and can hardly crawl myself out of bed the next day and I'm like "people do that???? For 8 to 12 hours???? Multiple times a week!?!?"
I know we talk a lot about keep jumping on boxes, but I'm honestly so grateful for Joe hills' knife theory; a variation on spoon theory that says once you're out of spoons, you can choose to take knives instead in the knowledge that it will hurt later. and the number of times I've told myself 'ok let's take the knives' is so high that I've found it really helps to acknowledge it. Thanks, Joe
My cutlery drawer is empty. I have no more spoons, nor fucks forks.
feeling particularly disabled today
the spoon drawer is empty
the forks are gone too
i have sporks.. kinda bad at being a fork, and kinda bad at being a spoon, but good for impaling ableism
Healthcare professionals always say they want a detailed patient history, but when the patient gives them that history instead of another medical professional they’re like ‘hmm that’s suspicious’