Not A Shitpost - Tumblr Posts
More serious post because I want to try and help people.
tw: suicide, mental health, depression
If you are feeling like nothing would change if you didn't exist, here's my advice. Note that I'm not, by any means, a professional, but I want to do something to help.
Get a plant. Get something that depends upon you to live.
When you feel like it would be better if you were dead, think about that plant. Think about the fact that if you died, it would die too, or at least it would become unhealthy. That plant is more than just a plant, it represents everyone you have ties to, and you do have ties to people, even if you don't think it.
If it dies early, acknowledge that there is a chance that you did something wrong, but know that you also might not have. Be sad, then get another one, maybe one that's easier to take care of.
You need to stay alive to water it, to help it grow and thrive. And when that plant eventually blooms, you can look at it and be glad that you stayed long enough to help it flourish. And you may realize that you have more of an effect on things around you than you think.
And when that plant dies, mourn it. Feel sad that it's gone. But remember how if it weren't for you, it would have never gotten a chance at life. Realize that it hopefully pulled you out of that horrible place, even just a little bit.
Realize that nothing is permanent, not even the bad things, and that you can outlive them, you just need to find a way to.
Don't ever overdo it.
If you can't go outside today, don't. But maybe open a window, get some fresh air. If you can get up, but don't have the energy to make your bed, that's completely fine! Don't want to make food? Don't, but don't go hungry either. Have a piece of fruit, or maybe toast. Celebrate the small wins and celebrate them when they happen.
Take it slow.
Don't rush things. Good days happen, bad days happen. If it's a bad day, do what you can to make it a neutral day. If it's a good day, congratulations!
Suicide is not the easy way out. There is no easy way out of depression. Recovery is not easy, but it's far, far better than the alternative.
ahahahahhaahahhahahhahahahaha
sure love that realization that your childhood was severely fucked up
one thing about growing up in a dysfunctional family is there are so many moments where you start to realize "oh most families aren't this fucked up actually. this isn't actually normal" and those moments occur over and over again.
honestly I just remembered I shook hands with the king and now he has a funky story that I wrote in year six about mushrooms
silverware theory
i'm sure most of y'all have heard of spoon theory, the idea that the amount of "spoons", aka resources/energy, someone has, determines how much someone can do in a certain period of time(this mostly applies to chronically ill, neurodivergent, and mentally ill folks as far as i know)
spoons only cover energy though. what about the other stuff? yeah, there's more silverware! fun!! /hsarc
it can be kinda hard to read a wholeass article so i tried to make each concept more bite sized(pun not intended lol). feel free to let me know if this is too wordy! constructive feedback is important after all.
spoons:
-you have a limited number of spoons every day
-it's pretty much impossible to gauge how many spoons you have starting out, as well as exactly how many spoons a certain activity may take
-EVERYTHING requires spoons, no matter how enjoyable it is
-sometimes you can recover spoons by doing restful/restorative activities(sleeping, reading a favorite book, playing with your cat, etc)
-the same activity can take different amounts of spoons day to day
-if you use up all your spoons one day, you'll probably have less spoons the next day(or longer)
-recovering spoons takes time
-you can't control how many spoons you have. it's not a matter of "laziness"
forks:
-comes from the phrase "stick a fork in me"
-forks are everyday stressors/inconveniences ranging anywhere from needing to pee to someone intentionally triggering you
-the amount of forks you can take varies like spoons
-one large fork like getting triggered can ruin your whole day
-same with several smaller forks(think "the straw that broke the camel's back")
-having lower fork tolerance doesn't make you weak
-it just means getting stabbed with forks sucks
knives:
-can refer to overexertion, pushing past your limits
-i've seen it used to refer to trauma as well*
-not everyone can handle knives because they are extremely detrimental
-knives hurt really bad and often cause lasting and/or permanent damage
-AVOID KNIVES IF YOU CAN
-if there's a super important reason behind the knife, be prepared to staunch the (metaphorical) bleeding
-using excessive knives is ill advised
(this article beats around the bush a lot so it was kinda hard to glean much)
*i've only ever seen the trauma knife theory in RPG settings. it made sense to me, but should be taken with a bowl of
[ID: a digital poster from mentalhealthathome.org titled The Mental Illness Cutlery Drawer. it reads spoons: resources you have to spend. forks: external stressors. knives: traumas. whisks: sources of agitation and overwhelm. meat tenderizer: beat the crap out of you, and just keep on beating. END ID]
true or false, everyone should be making their best effort 100% of the time, it’s lazy to do otherwise.
Signal boosting because ive seen at least from a liguistic approach we need this study to support everyone and to push towards normalizing genders other than binary.
The 2021 Gender Census is now open!
[ Link to survey ]
The eighth annual international gender census, collecting information about the language we use to refer to ourselves and each other, is now open until 10th March 2021.
After the survey is closed I’ll process the results and publish a spreadsheet of the data and a report summarising the main findings. Then anyone can use them for academic or business purposes, self-advocacy, tracking the popularity of language over time, and just feeling like we’re part of a huge and diverse community.
If you think you might have friends and followers who’d be interested, please do reblog this blog post, retweet this tweet, boost this Mastodon post, check out this post on Reddit, and share the survey URL by email or at AFK social groups or on other social networks like Facebook. Every share is extremely helpful - it’s what helped us get 24,000 responses last year.
Survey URL: https://www.smartsurvey.co.uk/s/gendercensus2021/
The survey is open to anyone anywhere who speaks English and feels that the gender binary doesn’t fully describe their experience of themselves and their gender(s) or lack thereof.
Thank you so much!
…when i google dreadlocks the first pic that comes up is of a white woman…
And while answering the questions, the survey's creator's cat will appear!
Tumblr Post+ and how to prevent it
Plenty of people here, myself included, don't want Post+. It's a paid subscription and will cause a lot (more) problems on this site.
What does it do?
- Allows blogs to create paid subscriptions that followers have to pay to see blog content. This can cause a lot of problems, as plenty of people come to Tumblr since it has never been a monetizable website.
- You can't block people who "support" your blog, meaning people can bypass the blocking system to harass blogs, just at a price.
- Creators have other outlets for these services, like Patreon.
- Again, nobody wants to pay for Tumblr posts.
Now, how can you help stop this?
By filling out Tumblr's Post+ survey! This allows you to give feedback about the Post+ system and what you would/wouldn't do. You can use this to directly inform Tumblr that you DO NOT want the "Post+" feature. If anyone has anything to add to this (info, updates, etc) I encourage you to! Keep resources current!
tagging a few people, PLEASE signal boost this (im too scared to tag big blogs, but feel free too) @that-is-not-milk @that-goose @imapursoon @milkhater3000 @official-lucifers-child @a-real-fast-goose @awkward-sunshine-and-rainbows @radicalreliablerandomness @elmo-is-a-forgotten-god
And even if you haven’t noticed any changes or haven’t had your period yet, please fill it out! There might be other things or trends that researchers should know. The more information the better!
not to be intrusive but did you get vaccinated? longer/heavier periods are a newly noted side effect. good luck
t. also becoming the joker
I got the 2nd shot yesterday and I’d already had my period for 8 days. I posted about how I felt sick on fb and a friend of mine said they got a 19 day period after 2nd shot. I am going to require a blood transfusion. RIP
https://www.youtube.com/c/zuben3422
This is a fake unus Annus channel that is trying to profit from @markiplier @ethannestor 's hard work and sacrifices after the real unus Annus channel was deleted. Please, all of you who are following me, help spread awareness of this scummy content thief before they turn a major profit from this. This is something that must not happen. Markiplier needs to see this. Legal action must take place immediately.
In all honesty, fuck pro-lifers. These hypocrites dare claim that they are on the side of life then turn around and make actual living a horrible experience for all affected by their boomer ideals and political choices. These fuckers can fuck right the fuck off a fucking cliff with their forced views and opinions. I want to pop all of them like the mistake ridden balloon sculptures that they are. I don't want to watch them melt or deflate, I want them to instantly disintegrate into nothingness.
people really call themselves “pro-life” then consistently vote against feeding schoolchildren
Its 4 am. I've been sitting under the hot water of my shower for the last 45 minutes. When am I supposed to feel good?
Reblogging this infinitely useful gem! All of my mutual need to see this. (And many non-mutual too)
There’s a reason lots of good parents say to babies stuff like
“You’re excited to go to the park!”
“Oh, it makes you mad that we can’t go outside.”
And then when the babies get a little bit older the parents can say
“You seem upset. Are you sad?”
“Are you excited that gramma is coming over today?”
Which lets the kid (who is learning to utilize speech) respond with yes or no, which may prompt more questions, like
“So you aren’t sad, are you angry?”
“Yes, does it make you happy when gramma is here?”
And then, finally, when the child is learning to use language in a more complex way, the parents can say,
“How does it make you feel?”
“Why are you feeling like that?”
And it’s all about teaching emotional awareness. I really reccomend using the process on yourself. Learn to ask, “am I happy?” “Am I sad?” “Am I anxious?”
Then practice identifying, out loud or on paper if you can, “I’m happy.” “I’m upset.” “I’m sad.” “I’m anxious.”
Final step: “Why am I feeling anxious? I’m still thinking about that awkward conversation earlier.” “Why am I happy? It’s such a beautiful day outside.” “Why am I sad? None of my friends are responding to my messages.”
It really helps you notice patterns (“I’m more likely to be happy when I’m around this person.” “When I haven’t eaten, I often feel angry.” “If I don’t plan ahead, I get anxious.”) which is the first step in avoiding things and people that are bad for you and encouraging things and people that are good.
So, my(39 m) husband (39 m) came up with a glorious saying when he got fed up with his roommates constant whining, and felt it deserves to be shared with the world. "I'm tired of listening to you bippity boppity bitch!" Perfect.
i really like being left alone and being independent etc etc but sometimes i dream of living with my lover in a flat overlooking the city and we have three cats and a dog and we snuffle in a pile on the couch under a bunch of blankets and we drink hot cocoa and watch movies like idk is that a little took much cuz it’s my only dream to be happy?
!!makeup is not false advertising because women are not a product to be sold to men!!
TL;DR (i read the whole thing and cried bc i needed to hear someone validate the fact ive learnt so much about myself and the world since i was a little kid)
getting older can be so amazing? you get more familiar with yourself. learn tips & tricks for troubleshooting your own brain. trial & error helps you build routines that minimize discomfort, maximize reward. your preferences/interests don't get set in stone, but you do find out which ones are going to stay with you in the long-term, and which ones are fun but transient joys to appreciate in the moment.
you learn that the world is so much more complex than you were taught, and that that's okay, and that there's an endless supply of things you can learn or watch or experience or think about if you want to. if you're lucky, you loosen up, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. if you're lucky, you learn to recognize that negative inner voice, and whack it with a baseball bat until it hushes up. if you're lucky, you learn to treat yourself gently, not because you are fragile but because you are worthy of gentleness. (i hope you are lucky.)
and some things will change. some things will get better. some things will get good. and maybe you start to recover from the dehumanizing stress of childhood/education. maybe you learn the power of your own autonomy. maybe you learn how to walk away from bad situations (which is a superpower even if you don't realize it yet). and you get to choose your own clothes. and your own food. and which relationships to pursue! and what you do with your free time. and with your life (but don't worry you get to choose that gradually). and that's crazy! and sometimes scary. and extraordinarily, indescribably precious.
Desperately trying to normalize Brittany Broski so that I can film a bi-weekly chalkboard yapp sesh that lasts for 4 hours. I think figuring out the camera angles so that I could get the chalkboard, the mirror I talk to, and the padded room all in the same frame [two camera setup?] is something to do some deep thought on.
K-pop is the best example for me. Look at how many saesangs are there. The idol contracts are so strenuous that they are dubbed as slave contracts. They aren't allowed to date as they and the people they date will be harassed by fans. Imagine thinking you are entitled to a person's private life just because they chose to be a k-pop idol and that they shouldn't date as they belong to you. A lot of idols face this. It's so stupid.
Parasocial relationships aren’t inherently unhealthy. Usually, they’re a perfectly normal and healthy way to experience media. You know what are examples of parasocial relationships?
Kids dressing up in costumes and pretending to be the sidekick of their favorite superhero.
Teens daydreaming about hanging out with members of their favorite band.
Adults reading a funny memoir and finding they now feel positively and care about the wellbeing of the person who wrote it.
Sports fans celebrating because their favorite team won a championship.
Watching a talent show and cheering when your favorite performer wins.
These are enjoyable and typically harmless experiences. Because relationships (parasocial included) are not inherently healthy or unhealthy–it all depends on the parties involved, and the behavior on both sides.
Parasocial relationships become unhealthy when we as audience members over-invest emotionally, fail to set proper boundaries, have unfair/unrealistic expectations or make intrusive demands (for individual attention, for emotional reciprocation, for the other party to serve as a best friend, a lover, a savior, a therapist), or engage in harassment when these expectations are not met. Or, alternatively, when the person/group/corporation on the other end misleads their audience, or uses their influence irresponsibly or exploitatively, or makes promises they cannot follow through on.
Unfortunately, we are seeing a rise in most of these things, in part because the way we consume media has changed very very quickly, and we as a culture have not had enough time to react sanely to these changes and establish healthy behavioral norms around them.
Many of us are struggling with how the illusion of intimacy has hyperevolved—the faces we once saw only on theatre screens and magazines, celebrities who were so removed from us by distance and medium, are now on our phones, in our homes, sharing their private lives with us in previously unimaginable detail. Instead of scripted interviews & crafted photoshoots, we get casual selfies & tweets & constant updates about their clothes & food & activities & private lifestyles. We get videos of celebrities talking to their camera (to us) directly from their own home—as if we are being invited inside. All of this happening on the very same social media platforms and in the same language we use to communicate with friends. Of course our brains are going to get confused, especially if we haven’t been taught how to draw the right boundaries when it comes to watching people in the spotlight.
And most of us haven’t.
Which leads us to what I think is the real problem—not parasocial relationships but Celebrity Culture. This whole culture we’ve been building for decades around inappropriate and invasive interest in the private lives of public figures. Celebrity & paparazzi culture has always encouraged deeply unhealthy patterns of behavior, and it’s been around a lot longer than the internet. But the attitudes it embodies have become the basis for how we treat and think about “famous” people online, and for the shape that parasocial relationships take in the social media age.
The problem isn’t that we’re forming parasocial relationships. Humans will always form parasocial relationships. Jesus christ, religion itself probably fits the definition of a parasocial relationship—what is more parasocial than inventing a god? The problem is that we are forming these relationships without a clear understanding of what constitutes healthy boundaries, reasonable expectations, and appropriate behavior, on all sides. Form as many parasocial relationships as you like, but figure out how to keep them healthy. Manage your expectations, be respectful of privacy, be aware of when you are becoming too involved, know when to step back, and don’t expect it to take the place of interpersonal relationships—your relationships with people who know you exist, and want to reciprocate your time, energy, and interest.
ko-fi
Tumblr's "for u" algorithm sucks because it just recommends the stuff that I posted.