Batfam Incorrect - Tumblr Posts
Jason: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.
Roy: Marry me.
Jon: I owe you one.
Damian: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.
Nightwing : You love me, right, Batgirl ?
Batgirl : Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
Stephanie: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Jason: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!
Cullen: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*
Bruce: What did you do?
Cullen: Nobody died.
Bruce: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Harper, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me
Kate, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.
Duke: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
Dick: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
Luke : dad! My face is on fire!
Lucius: Luke ! Are you ok?!
Luke : Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.
Lucius : But your face is on fire.
Luke : Yes. It's much faster than shaving.
Tim: Carrie was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Carrie: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it.
Tim: Carrie, you ate a chair.
Kon: Hey Tim,
Tim: Yes?
Kon: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Tim:
Tim: Where’s Bart?
Kid!Dick, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Kid!Barbara,in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Bruce: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Kid!Barbara: playing systemic oppression
Carrie: We need to get through this locked door. Tiffany , give me your credit card.
Tiffany : Here.
Carrie, pocketing it: Thanks. Luke , kick down the door.
Harper: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise
Bette: I beg to differ
Harper: Then Beg
Bruce: You're right.
Clark: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
Bruce: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!
Stephanie: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!
Bruce: ….
Bruce: What?
Stephanie: I need to feed my Neopets!
Jon: I made this friendship bracelet for you.
Damian: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.
Jon: You don’t have to wear…
Damian: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.
Dick: I can't believe you've done this.....
Wally: I'm sorry I didn't know-!
Dick, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!
Dick: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Duke’s been crying about his parents in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...
Bruce: Here's some advice
Dick: I didn't ask for any
Bruce: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me
Damian: Jon and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Jon: Sentences.
Damian: Don't interrupt me.