Batfam Incorrect - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
Kon: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!
Tim: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.
Kon: Stop.
Jason Todd holding a bunch of weapons and grenades: you love me Roy?
Roy: normally i’d say yes without hesitation but i feel like i know where this is going and i don’t like it
Jason : *Stubs their toe* FUCK!
Bruce: Mind your language!
Jason : What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???
Bruce*bruce looking unimpressed but speechless*: …….
Stephanie : You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.
Dick: Time for plan G.
Stephanie : Don’t you mean plan B?
Dick: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Tim: What about plan D?
Dick: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Cass : What about plan E?
Dick: I’m hoping not to use it. Jason dies again in plan E.
Damian : I like plan E.
Bruce as Batman trying to be a good dad : *shatters a window and climbs through it*
Bruce *turns around and helps Dick through it*: Breaking and entering is wrong robin.
youngDick absolutely going to do this later: ok
Bruce: I'll offer you some friendly advice-
Jason: I don't want your advice.
Bruce: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.
Barbara: I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.
Dick: Babs what kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Barbara , already taking off their clothes: God, Dick, you’re so fucking stupid.
Bruce: How was your day, Damian?
Damian: Yeah, fine, it's anti-bullying week at school.
Bruce: Oh? And what does that mean?
Damian: It means I can't bully anyone for a whole week.
Duke: You shouldn't be using a straw.
Stephanie: I know, I know, it's bad for the environment and stuff.
Duke: Yeah, but I mean... it's a weird way to eat spaghetti.
Bruce: Are you listening to me?
Robin Dick Grayson: *nods*
Bruce: What did I just say?
Robin dick Grayson: *nods*
Bruce: ...
Bruce: Where are you going?
Selena: Hell, eventually.
Duke: *starts to leave patrol at sundown*
*an explosion is heard from nearby area*
Gotham Citizen: What was that?
Duke: The sound of someone else's problem.
Dick: Hey Dami, made anyone cry today?
Damian: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.
Bruce: What happened?!
Stephanie: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Bruce: Sh-short??
Stephanie: Shit's fucked.
Bruce: Okay, long.
Stephanie: Shit's very fucked.
Damian: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Cass: >:O
Dick: language
Jason: Yeah watch your fucking language
Tim: Okay, who taught demon spawn the fuck word?!
Stephanie: 'The fuck word'.
Duke: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Tim: Oh my god they censored it
Stephanie: Say fuck, Duke.
Jason: Do it, Duke. Say fuck.
Jason: Croissants: dropped
Dick: Road: works ahead
Duke: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Stephanie: Shavacado: fre
Tim: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Damian:
Damian: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
Bruce : I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.
Selena: What- how?
Bruce : You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”