Big Three Kids - Tumblr Posts

Big three kids 💜💜💜💜💜

You can make an argument that any big three kid is the oldest, except for Jason.

Like, biologically, Percy has aged the most, he’s physically 17, which is more than any of the rest of them has reached

Thalia has mentally aged/matured the most, even if she stopped biologically aging at 15 years and 364 days, and should chronologically be in her 20s but spent some time as a tree where she aged slower.

Chronologically, Hazel was born the longest time from the present day, but she also died, and was in the underworld for decades before being resurrected, so that time didn’t really count for her, and she’s physically like 14.

Nico has been alive for the most time, but for 70 years he was in a place where he couldn’t physically age. He’s like…15 now and is aging normally, but has been alive since world war 2.

And then there’s Jason. Who had no wacky time shenanigans and died and didn’t come back. (Yet) honestly, and outlier who should not have been counted

do you ever think about how all of percy’s demigod cousins absolutely do not exist on paper other than thalia and jason? like. hazel and nico are from the past, thalia was a tree, and jason was raised by wolves. that’s not even counting the fact that percy was wanted nationwide for murder and terrorism. how do they go anywhere. 

but imagine if they got arrested 

it would probably go somewhat like this 

officer: so you actually don’t have any paperwork so i’m just wondering if i can get in contact with one of your parents? 

nico: literally fuck off 

- 

officer: it says here that you were wanted nationwide for murder and terrorism, and then you were released from those charges, could you tell me how you got released from them? 

percy: yes i murdered the judge 

officer: you what 

- 

officer: so we took your prints and they match perfectly to one of the missing children that beryl grace had 

thalia: i burnt off my fingerprints please tell me how you got my prints 

officer: no you didn’t i have your prints right here 

thalia: those aren’t my fingerprints 

officer: what

the fucking cops finding out that two of the people they have in custody don’t exist, two of them are missing children of a dead movie star, and one of them was wanted for murder and terrorism and was a nationwide criminal

the dude would really go to his superior like “ok so we have 5 kids here… and the least confusing one was wanted for murder and terrorism but somehow got released from those charges…? anyways 2 don’t exist. we ran their prints, there is literally no evidence of them existing, no school papers, government ID, dental… absolutely nothing. the other 2 we think are the two missing children of a movie star, we have records for the girl as late as age 7 and the boy nothing past age 3….”

the dude interrogating them would get so tired so fast 

officer: is it possible that i could get in contact with one of your parents? 

percy: no 

officer, tired of questioning these kids: okay.

jason’s probably trying to do damage control and he is. failing to say the least

percy and hazel cussing out the cop: you motherfucker come back here so we can beat your fucking ass- 

jason: guys please. please stop. why.

-

officer: I need an actual number if you want a lawyer  

nico: fuck off 

jason: nico please stop swearing at the cops 

-

thalia: no you can’t prove those are mine, they could be fake 

jason: thalia, please stop trying to convince the cop that you don’t have fingerprints 

-

jason: percy, percy please. please stop telling the cop about the judge you killed. you didn’t kill any judges 

-

hazel: wanna know where you can shove your damn notepad? right up your a- 

jason: hazel you were suppose to help me not join them please hazel

-

officer: what happened to your first stepfather? because it says here that he just disappeared-  

percy, popping bubblegum: i killed him 

officer: what 

percy: you heard me

-

hades would send ms dodds to play lawyer again and then her and percy would really have an interaction like this

ms. dodds: i’ve murdered a judge before what’s stopping me from killing this one 

percy: haha same 

ms. dodds: what 

nico: don’t look at him. don’t kill the judge, my dad doesn’t want to deal with the paperwork

and that’s not even counting what they have to tell the gods 

zeus: sorry, you what? 

thalia: okay so basically, nico kept telling the officer to fuck off and he asked for a lawyer multiple times but when the officer called the number nico gave him it wasn’t a lawyer, it was a line that conner and travis set up that goes, “haha i fucked your mom” and needless to say the cop did not like that. and then percy convinced the cop that to get out of the murder and terrorism charges he murdered a judge and honestly i’m not sure if he’s telling the truth or not but the cop also did not like that. 

zeus, massaging his temples: okay. and what did you do? 

thalia: i convinced the cop that i had burnt my fingerprints off and we had a 30 minute argument about whether those prints on the paper were mine or not.

do you ever think about how all of percy’s demigod cousins absolutely do not exist on paper other than thalia and jason? like. hazel and nico are from the past, thalia was a tree, and jason was raised by wolves. that’s not even counting the fact that percy was wanted nationwide for murder and terrorism. how do they go anywhere. 

but imagine if they got arrested 

it would probably go somewhat like this 

officer: so you actually don’t have any paperwork so i’m just wondering if i can get in contact with one of your parents? 

nico: literally fuck off 

- 

officer: it says here that you were wanted nationwide for murder and terrorism, and then you were released from those charges, could you tell me how you got released from them? 

percy: yes i murdered the judge 

officer: you what 

- 

officer: so we took your prints and they match perfectly to one of the missing children that beryl grace had 

thalia: i burnt off my fingerprints please tell me how you got my prints 

officer: no you didn’t i have your prints right here 

thalia: those aren’t my fingerprints 

officer: what

the fucking cops finding out that two of the people they have in custody don’t exist, two of them are missing children of a dead movie star, and one of them was wanted for murder and terrorism and was a nationwide criminal

the dude would really go to his superior like “ok so we have 5 kids here… and the least confusing one was wanted for murder and terrorism but somehow got released from those charges…? anyways 2 don’t exist. we ran their prints, there is literally no evidence of them existing, no school papers, government ID, dental… absolutely nothing. the other 2 we think are the two missing children of a movie star, we have records for the girl as late as age 7 and the boy nothing past age 3….”

the dude interrogating them would get so tired so fast 

officer: is it possible that i could get in contact with one of your parents? 

percy: no 

officer, tired of questioning these kids: okay.

jason’s probably trying to do damage control and he is. failing to say the least

percy and hazel cussing out the cop: you motherfucker come back here so we can beat your fucking ass- 

jason: guys please. please stop. why.

-

officer: I need an actual number if you want a lawyer  

nico: fuck off 

jason: nico please stop swearing at the cops 

-

thalia: no you can’t prove those are mine, they could be fake 

jason: thalia, please stop trying to convince the cop that you don’t have fingerprints 

-

jason: percy, percy please. please stop telling the cop about the judge you killed. you didn’t kill any judges 

-

hazel: wanna know where you can shove your damn notepad? right up your a- 

jason: hazel you were suppose to help me not join them please hazel

-

officer: what happened to your first stepfather? because it says here that he just disappeared-  

percy, popping bubblegum: i killed him 

officer: what 

percy: you heard me

-

hades would send ms dodds to play lawyer again and then her and percy would really have an interaction like this

ms. dodds: i’ve murdered a judge before what’s stopping me from killing this one 

percy: haha same 

ms. dodds: what 

nico: don’t look at him. don’t kill the judge, my dad doesn’t want to deal with the paperwork

and that’s not even counting what they have to tell the gods 

zeus: sorry, you what? 

thalia: okay so basically, nico kept telling the officer to fuck off and he asked for a lawyer multiple times but when the officer called the number nico gave him it wasn’t a lawyer, it was a line that conner and travis set up that goes, “haha i fucked your mom” and needless to say the cop did not like that. and then percy convinced the cop that to get out of the murder and terrorism charges he murdered a judge and honestly i’m not sure if he’s telling the truth or not but the cop also did not like that. 

zeus, massaging his temples: okay. and what did you do? 

thalia: i convinced the cop that i had burnt my fingerprints off and we had a 30 minute argument about whether those prints on the paper were mine or not.

Bakugo, waking up: Ah damn, what time is it?

Todoroki: It’s about 2am. You hungry?

Bakugo: Hell yeah, let’s go eat.

Izuku, sobbing uncontrollably: KACCHAN, YOU JUST WOKE UP FROM A COMA. WHY DO YOU TWO ALWAYS DO THIS-

THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME CRYYYY 😭😭😭😭

percys sitting on the dock or smth and nico sits down next to him

percys like 'oh you wanna sit here?' awkwardly and gets up but nico grabs his shirt and pulls him back down before quietly asking 'how did bianca die.' and percy can hear the tears and he pauses caught off guard and takes a second to collect himself before giving a blunt explanation of what happened and nico asks 'did you look for her' and percys like 'fucking of course we did' and says that he doesnt know how long they looked for but he guessed the other three looked for an hour and percy thinks for a few seconds before saying he genuinely cant remember much after biancas death and nico silently leans against percy and says 'you did keep your promise.' and percys abt to ask what he means but nico isnt done and says 'you said youd try to protect her. and you did try.' and percys starts to cry and wraps an arm around nico before saying how if he had the chance he would go in her place without a second thought and nico sits up straight suddenly and turns his entire body to percy and asks 'how old were you.' and percy says he was 14 and before he could say anything else nico says '*im* 14.' and percy kinda just stares at him for a bit before he starts fully sobbing because he knows nicos a child, in percys mind hes a baby, and he was the same age percy was when bianca died and slowly he learns to accept the fact that biancas death wasnt his fault.

Percy: my dad's such a dick such a deadbeat I hate him

Poseidon: can you tell my kid I love him and I'm very sorry and also save his life

Poseidon: but don't tell him he can breathe underwater except very cryptically

Poseidon: yell at him to breathe a few times

Poseidon: that ought to work