Dermatillomania - Tumblr Posts
Ok just want to write out my thoughts and if anyone relates or understands that is great. I was talking to my psychiatrist one day about how I sometimes feel the need to do certain things specifically with my face sometimes (scrunch my nose, stretch my face muscles, make a whistling noise between my teeth). It goes through phases and is worse when my anxiety is worse. She mentioned something about OCD. I have thought about it briefly since I pick at my nails so much and it feels more compulsive and obsessive like dermatillomania (which is as originally only listed under OCD because of the obsessive and compulsive traits it has, now it’s also a body focused repetitive behavior if I remember correctly). Other than that though I never gave it much thought. So I wandered on to the internet to learn more because it piqued my interest. I know OCD is more than organizing and cleaning but I wanted to learn more specifics, not to self diagnose but to try and understand how my brain could be working. I found something called mental contamination which was really interesting. It is basically you feel dirty even though you haven’t actually touched or done anything that would make you dirty. The thing I saw talked about feeling dirty because of someone else’s touch. It made me think about a few things. Mainly it made me think about how much I dislike being close to people and being touched. Some people I feel uncomfortable because it makes me feel dirty from being close to them (I don’t actually think they’re gross or dirty it’s like an intrusive thought, like what are you doing here thought go away). Most people though I feel like if they get too close they’re going to see me how I saw myself when I was younger, and sometimes still do; a disgusting monster that is unlovable. I’m afraid that when they get close they will think I’m gross and disgusting. A boy once told me in high school that I smelled bad. Thinking back it was a summer football practice (I was a manager) so he was probably smelling himself or the fifty other sweating dudes around. On top of the self hatred and anxiety that followed that, I have hyperhidrosis. So I physically felt disgusting from that and my health problems that make me nauseous. I spent many years feeling nauseous to the point where I was in the bathroom crying and missed many classes. Feeling nauseous just feels icky and it translated into me feeling like I am disgusting; like that icky feeling inside is showing outside.
I don’t know what the point of this post is except to ramble my thoughts “out loud”. Probably should find a new therapist but I’m doing okay mostly lol.
❤️Stick(ers) with love❤️
🎨🦋A Welcome Home fan fic🌸🐛
Summary: Wally wants to hang out with his friends on a warm summer day, but he worries over picking the pilings off his fleece skin
Word count: 1,396 words
Characters involved: Wally Darling, Home, Julie Joyful, Frank Frankly, Howdy Pillar
Contents:
Dermatillomania (portrayed via fabric piling and cotton)
Fluff :D
Helping friends
Compulsions
Additional art at end jumpscare lol
Notes: This is my first time putting one of my fan fictions actually out in the world sooo any constructive criticism is appreciated. This is somewhat based on my own experiences with dermatillomania, and honestly I just kind of wanted some kind of outlet to share how I feel about it sometimes :,D
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Wally had woken up a little bit later than usual, but nothing would deter from the smiling summer day that the neighborhood had today. Home opened up one of its windows to let Wally have a nice breath of the morning summer air, and a small wave of heat rushed inside as Wally happily sighed. Crossing his arms over the windowsill, he felt something on his arm that had been unconsciously bothering him for months now. It seemed to have been piling from his fleece skin coming up again for Wally. It didn’t seem to bother Wally for the time being though, but Home was always concerned over Wally picking at the pilings. The piling picking would sometimes go to the point Wally would pick too hard and bits of his cotton insides would peek out.
Home warned through the creaking doors and floorboards for Wally to not pick at his arm this time around if he wanted to go outside with short sleeves today. Home also warned that he would dig too deep into his skin again and ruin his arm; “it’s done enough scarring to your beautiful skin already, Wally” Home creaked, pointing to the very tiny seams Home had to patch for him. Wally didn’t seem to fond of the idea of wearing his cardigan on an already warm day, but he didn’t seem fond of picking at his skin either, so he decided to wear his cardigan over a shorter sleeved white button up. Wally was going out to Howdy’s Place with Julie and Frank for smoothies and milkshakes, so Wally was more than eager to go outside and play.
After showering and preparing his hair, Wally was all dolled up to go and hang out with his friends. Wally stepped outside and waved goodbye to Home before going on his merry way. Although there was a nice breeze every now and then, the summer heat made Wally feel like he’d turn into butter if he didn’t find anything to cool him down. As Wally made his way to Howdy’s Place, he decided the cardigan was too much for him, and wrapped the cardigan around his waist. The summers heat felt so much better on Wally now that he didn’t have his wooly blue cardigan to retain heat.
The bell inside Howdy’s Place’s door gave a nice ring, and Wally stepped inside to see his friends waiting for him. Wally sighed and wiped the droplets of sweat off his forehead before sitting next to Julie. The three got Neapolitan milkshakes, but separate. Wally got a simple strawberry milkshake, Julie got a double chocolate milkshake, and Frank got a plain vanilla milkshake. Julie paid for the trio’s drinks, and thank the stars that Barnaby’s joke lessons are working out finally for her. After Howdy and the trio had quite the laugh from Julie’s jokes, Wally, Frank, and Julie happily enjoyed their milkshakes. While Julie yapped on and on to Frank about her summer plans, Wally once again crossed his arms as he happily enjoyed his milkshake. Whether he was aware of it or not, Wally felt the pilings on his arm again, and started to pick at it.
It didn’t hurt, but at the same time it did. It felt as if Wally was pricking his arm with a somewhat dull sewing needle all over his arm. He wasn’t doing much else while his friends talked and Howdy managed the store, but his focus was still on drinking his milkshake, so why was he picking at his skin? Perhaps it’s a need for perfection. How else was he going to get his arm smooth again from the piling? Wally didn’t feel exactly bad for doing it, but at the same time he did.
“Wally, are you doing alright there?” Frank asked as he looked over to Wally. Blinking from his state of thought, Wally looked back over to Julie and Frank. “Oh, yes! I am doing well.” Wally exclaimed monotonously. Wally uncrossed his arms, but still held onto his one arm that had all the piling, rubbing his thumb against it all. Julie tilted her head to side to take a look, and took note of how Wally rubbing his thumb against his arm. “Is your arm ok Wally? Can I see?” Julie asked curiously. Wally looked to the side in thought, and considering he can’t exactly hide his arm now that Julie’s curious about it. Julie holds her hand out kindly to Wally, and Wally allows Julie to see his arm, continuing to look away reluctantly.
Julie took a closer look at the pilings in an odd sense of curiosity. It seems like rainbow monsters like Julie haven’t been through anything like this before. Frank looked over from where he sat as Wally took back his arm to go back to his milkshake.
“You don’t have to be ashamed of it Wally.” Frank comforted to Wally. Wally looked back up from his milkshake to look at Frank, surprised at the words they had to say. “It’s something that’s compulsive to you, right?”
“Compulsive?” Wally asked as he tilted his head in question.
“Something you tend to do on repeat, regardless of how often you try to control it.” Frank explained calmly.
Wally understanding what the word meant now, he nodded his head a bit sadly, knowing what Frank described fits to Wally’s picking. “Hm…Well, you don’t have to feel sad about it!” Julie exclaimed to Wally.
“I don’t?” Wally asked.
“Not at all! If all that describes something compulsive, then that should mean that Frank and I’s flappy hands are compulsive too!” Julie said excitedly.
Wally and Frank laughed to Julie’s enthusiasm. “Well, you aren’t wrong in that sense Julie, no. Though it’s different to what Wally’s compulsions are, that being his skin picking.” Julie looks to Wally’s arm, then back to Wally.
“Does itttt..hurt whenever you pick at your skin Wally?” Julie asked curiously.
Wally shook his head no.
“It hurts, yes, but it only feels like a pinch every time.” Wally explains in his usual monotonous tone.
Julie tries to get an idea after learning this new information, and spins around on the barstool seat while sipping her milkshake. Glancing at the rack of sticker sheets Howdy has in his shop, the lightbulb flickers in her head with an idea. She quickly got down from her chair, grabbed a sticker pack, and went back to her seat.
“Hey Howdy! How much for the stickers?” Julie asked as she waved the sticker pack in the air.
“One joke per pack, Jules!” Howdy answered.
“….Well, whatdya call a sticker that’s always late?” Julie asked Howdy.
“Hmm, I dunno Jules, what do you call a sticker that’s always late?” Howdy questioned back.
“Stick around! It’ll show up eventually.” Julie answered.
Although it took a couple of seconds for Howdy and Frank to catch on, it was a holler and a half once they got the joke (Wally laughed, but he didn’t quite understand). Howdy wipes a tear from his eye from the laugh and settles down. “Oh boy, alright you won this one Julie. Now, whatdya need those stickers for anyway?” Howdy asked a bit puzzled.
Julie demonstrated by putting a sticker on her face, and slowly peeling it off. “I think that since there’s a little itty bitty bite of hurt whenever Wally picks at his skin, Wally can put these stickers on his arm! That way when he tries to pick at his skin, it won’t hurt as much!” Julie prompted. Wally and Howdy were bedazzled by the idea of using stickers on Wally’s arm to pick at rather than his own skin. “The peeling of the stickers could give the same stimulation Wally gets from digging into his skin to get the pilings off of him! Not a bad idea Julie.” Frank admitted.
Julie gave a little flappy hands to Frank’s approval of the idea, and turned to Wally for a true test of approval.
“What do you think Wally? Does it sound good to you?” Julie asked excitedly.
“That idea sounds like the absolute most! I think we should try it!” Wally said as he gave a happy nod in yes.
Julie jumped in joy as Wally said yes to her idea, and Julie, Frank, and Howdy all helped to cover Wally in as many stickers as he wanted.
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I’ll probably draw some art of the ending too where Howdy, Julie and Frank are putting stickers all over Wally :3
Skin picking disorder is so odd like I’ll be doing my own thing then look down then suddenly there’s blood in my mouth and there’s flecks of skin all over my pants and there’s blood covering my lip and fingers like huh?? When did I do that?? Oh yeah 20 seconds ago oopsies.
I love putting tape on my injures then peeling them off and watching the skin & blood stick to the tape. 10/10 would recommend if your fingernails are too short to grab the peeling skin.
also, hooking peeling skin on blankets >>
How I feel after my friends think my skin picking is a “yummy blood!” kinda thing: 😍😍 (Any hardness or roughness on my skin feels imperfect to the point I rip off my skin until it’s bleeding and can’t even get out of bed because of how bad it feels to stop)
❗️Body-focused repetitive behaviors❗️
Hi, I just wanted to say that if you're suffering from bfrb... you are not weird, gross, or ugly. You're beautiful! Even if you may have bald spots or scabs on your skin. It doesn't matter what you look like, the only thing that matters is that you try your best not to judge/ blame yourself too much, and surround yourself with good people and positivity❤️❤️
I know how it feels, and I understand you.
Some cookies and juice for u, lovelies🍪🍪🧃
i love moving a joint a little too far and cracking scabs like a glowstick it’s so addicting
Dermatillomania/Skin Picking Disorder/Excoriation
There is a high chance of you having a skin picking disorder if your picking is causing scabs, scars, and/or infections. You might also be avoiding social situations, most likely due to any possible questions about the bleeding and scabbing and /or embarrassment of your skin.
Other people’s opinions are valuable if you are not sure whether you have this problem or not since they might be able to call you out on detrimental behavior that you think is normal or on actions you are not aware of doing. If you are assessing yourself, however, the ABC’s of skin picking might be helpful to see where you are:
An “A” is something that almost “anyone” would pick. This could be a piece of dry skin, a noticeable whitehead, or a scab that’s about to fall off on its own. A “B” is a “bump”, pimple, scab, etc. that only a skin picker would pick. This is something that would either become an “A” over time or go away on its own if left alone. But, a skin picker will frequently start picking at it and make it significantly worse. It may then bleed, ooze, scab, and possibly become infected. This in turn will cause two additional problems – it will cause the picker significant distress, and it will give him or her something new to pick at later.
“C” stands for “Create”, meaning the individual with Dermatillomania is not picking at anything objectively “real”, but in the process of picking at their skin, the person “creates” something such as a blemish, scratch or scab. A “C” is something that only someone with Dermatillomania would pick. There is often nothing apparent on the individual’s skin, but the picker starts picking or scratching, and in the process creates a wound.
I’ve read that the recommended treatment for Skin Picking Disorder is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), however I will mostly be writing about tips to overcome your problem on your own, since I will be trying out those for myself.
To stop picking any “C’s” – in other words, to stop creating new skin problems where none previously existed– a skin picker needs to become more aware of their picking patterns. Building awareness is generally done by keeping a skin picking log, and with the assistance of a habit-blocker such as gloves (Gloves like the ones worn by women in burqas might come in handy here since they are created from thinner, softer material for everyday use and are not meant to be used in winter only. I suppose you can find something with similar properties online.)
Gloves provide a barrier to unconscious picking, and help in two ways. First, the skin picker cannot easily pick at existing scabs, blemishes, etc. Second, the gloves prevent identification of new places to pick that would otherwise be felt by random, unconscious, mindless touching of the skin. After all, the two main triggers for skin pickers are touching and looking at their skin.
Removing the opportunity to touch your skin by wearing gloves is a good first step to becoming more aware of your unconscious scanning, and reducing the impulse to pick. After you get used to using a habit blocker like gloves, the focus of treatment turns to reducing your picking of “B’s.”
The first of two important factors to address in reducing the picking of “B’s” is to gradually learn to tolerate the urge to pick. If a “B” is left alone, it will either go away or become an “A,” sometimes overnight. So, start small and build on your successes. When you see or feel a “B,” acknowledge it and tell yourself you will wait at least 24 hours to look at it or touch it again. In 24 hours, if the bump or blemish is still there, you can then decide whether to pick it or not. By waiting, you teach yourself that you are able to resist the urge to pick immediately –that you can wait it out and see what happens. The more you practice doing this, the better you will become over time at resisting the urge to pick. You teach yourself that you don’t have to pick something just because you see it or touch it, or just because you have an urge to do so by mindfully acknowledging and accepting the urge to pick without automatically giving into that urge.
As you build up your tolerance for delaying the urge to pick, you can add on to your 24-hour wait time. Next, you might go for 36 hours, then 48, and so on. Over time, this practice will ensure that you are only picking “A’s,” the kinds of things almost anyone would pick.
For most individuals with Dermatillomania, skin picking is a self-soothing technique that helps them to better modulate their feelings. The second factor to work with in reducing the urges to pick (and you can do this concurrently with having a “wait time” to pick) is to identify the feelings you have been “getting out” through skin picking. Find the underlying cause and what kind of feelings trigger your picking: Is it boredom, anxiety, stress, maybe that perfectionist lil bitch living in your head? You might also consider getting professional help if you feel you keep failing. Sometimes Dermatillomania can be triggered by depression, OCD, anxiety and possibly several other things I’m not aware of (Not a doc sorry). In such cases, self treatment would not be very effective. Seeing a therapist would not only help you overcome Dermatillomania but also multiple other problems you might be facing.
A very effective way to express these feelings is to write them out. You can journal and say anything you want. You can shred what you’ve written afterwards to protect your privacy and confidentiality. Once you get the feelings you’ve been suppressing out in this healthy way, you are likely to experience diminished urges to “get things out” by picking your skin. In other words, by allowing yourself to experience, acknowledge, and tolerate your uncomfortable feelings, you are less likely to need skin picking as a self-soothing technique.
Some other tips to help you:
Identify the kind of picking you most often do:
Unconscious Picker: You casually touch/pick your face while using the computer, reading a book, or watching television. This is a very dangerous type of picking because you often won't realize you're doing it.
Bathroom Mirror Picker: You go in to grab the floss and end up spending fifteen minutes in front of the mirror picking your skin.
Idle Picker: You pick while you're waiting for the bus, you pick while you're on the phone, and you pick while you're waiting in traffic.
Once you've identified what kind of face-toucher you are, then you can decide what tips and methods will help you most.
Keep your hands busy: Do crossword puzzles or play video games while you're waiting for the bus. Give yourself a hand massage while you watch television. Start a knitting project to keep yourself busy at night.
Place signs that say "NO PICKING" on things: Up on your bathroom mirror, in your compact mirror, on the TV remote, or wherever you are likely to see them when you start to pick.
Wear gloves (Mentioned before but still): It may sound silly, but it will be impossible to pick your face while wearing gloves. You can wear them overnight, too, if you tend to sleep with your face on your hands. Wash the gloves regularly.
If wearing gloves isn't an option, consider placing bandages or narrow strips of tape over your fingertips. This is a bit more discreet, and will make it very difficult to pick your skin.
Get other people involved. A close friend, parent, or roommate can be a very valuable asset. Ask them to gently scold you if they notice you touching your face.
Don't give up. Like any bad habit, you may not be able to quit picking overnight. Try not to become discouraged.
Make sure your fingernails are always clean/cut, that there is no grime under your them and always wash your hands thoroughly with anti-bacterial soap. That way you will minimize the damage even if you relapse.
Try to avoid putting your hands on your face such as using them to rest your chin on.
Put your hands in your pockets when you are walking around, waiting for something etc.
Make new habits that involve your hands: Adopt hand gestures when talking, play with your fingers while you’re sitting, learn how to twirl a pen (you’ll fit right in with the cool kids), drum your fingers (when you are alone ofc) etc.
It’s important to remember that you most likely won’t stop picking overnight and your skin will not heal itself in a couple of days. You might even relapse every once in a while. But try not to get discouraged and keep going. And remember that nothing in your life (including your skin) needs to be, nor will be 100% bump-free.
I have edited the content to better suit my needs and for length.
SOURCES:
http://www.wikihow.com/Keep-Your-Hands-Away-from-Your-Face
http://ocdla.com/abcs-dermatillomania-compulsive-skin-picking-1979
A Google Form to collect as much information on Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors, in this context picking, pulling, chewing, or scratching the parts of the body. Only people who suffer from these can take the form. Emails aren't collected and I'm not a mental health professional just someone who deals with a BFRB. If you want me to make changes to the form then just ask.
this is what i look like after i pick my face
My first Ghost fic! Please enjoy. It hits on a personal note for me, but I hope it can provide comfort to you too.
TW: trichotillomania, dermatillomania
I hate it so much when people say "I'm so ocd" like I LOST MY EYEBROWS TO OCD let's be real for a sec here-