Psychiatry - Tumblr Posts

Sobbing right now at the idea that in my future field, people will come to me with things they have never told another soul before, and I will have the power to save their life. I could not take that trust for granted. Anybody who has the courage to seek help from me will receive help from me, and I will do everything possible to minimize the barriers involved in that. They met me more than halfway by just being brave enough to seek help.

annoys me to see people shoot back at the most strawmanned version of the social model of disability imaginable. ‘depression is a product of capitalism’ doesn’t mean ‘under socialism nobody will be sad’, or even ‘under socialism nobody will experience long-term recurring anhedonic despair without obvious cause’ – it means that ‘depression’ is a social category constructed in opposition to ‘normal people’ – that just like any axis of social oppression ableism is premised around drawing a circle around what is Normal and then applying an othering taxonomy to everything outside that circle, and that overthrowing capitalism opens the door to dissolving that circle and meeting people and their problems as they are instead of creating + enforcing a dehumanizing social role for them

annoys me to see people shoot back at the most strawmanned version of the social model of disability imaginable. ‘depression is a product of capitalism’ doesn’t mean ‘under socialism nobody will be sad’, or even ‘under socialism nobody will experience long-term recurring anhedonic despair without obvious cause’ – it means that ‘depression’ is a social category constructed in opposition to ‘normal people’ – that just like any axis of social oppression ableism is premised around drawing a circle around what is Normal and then applying an othering taxonomy to everything outside that circle, and that overthrowing capitalism opens the door to dissolving that circle and meeting people and their problems as they are instead of creating + enforcing a dehumanizing social role for them

This is so important. I never had to experience anything like that, but I have an schizofrenic godfather and I know how it seems real to him

No doctor will ever get my respect like the woman in the ER who checked me for claws and fangs because I told her I was turning into a werewolf and could feel it and let me know gently that she couldn't find any but that didnt make it feel any less real, like THATS how you do it, other doctors who just flat out told me I was wrong take notes

Another semester of grad school done. . . . And I aced my Pharm finals, thanks to the ladies who helped me understand contraception 😉! 2 more years and I’ll have my dream job. #goals #nurse . . . . . #motivation #gradschool #nurse #nursing #murse #instagay #nursingschool #filipino #nursepractitioner #pmhnp #healthcare #medical #scrubs #uniform #study #RN #NP #student #malenurse #psychiatry #psych #mentalhealth #medicine #sandiego #california #goals #nurse (at San Diego, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrtafiuhrTf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=bt4fyqd355v2

“I have explosive diarrhea.” . . . Trying to get hospital staff to come to work on a holiday is a crapshoot. . . . #chargenurse #chargeRN #norealpower . . . . #motivation #gradschool #nurse #nursing #murse #instagay #nursingschool #filipino #nursepractitioner #pmhnp #healthcare #medical #scrubs #uniform #study #RN #NP #student #malenurse #psychiatry #psych #mentalhealth #medicine #sandiego #california (at San Diego, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrxN5XaBSIh/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=4y0ml2m4bvso

Since it is literally a fireable offence to attempt to coerce, force, bribe or bully your patient into adopting your own values and views beyond the scope of law and ethics. Which, most ethics are covered by law regardless.

And on the basis of 'normal' and corrections, again, that depends on scope and how you are defining both.

E.g; if my client is unhealthily fixated on, say, BDSM as a means of self harm, my goal is not to try to 'normalify' them by villainising BDSM and attempting to steer them away from it and toward vanilla sex only.

My goal is to harmonise their relationship with BDSM and steer them towards healthier ways of engaging with it and using it as a means of safe outlet and catharsis over self harm. My goal is to get them to understand how and why they were using BDSM to self-harm and help them fix the root problem.

You just read my post and immediately launched into a bad faith misinterpretation of it that completely disregards the actual purpose of therapy and my post.

You don't become a therapist to force your patients to have the same individual views as you do or the same values or the same beliefs. You don't become a therapist because you have a very specific approach to something that you believe is the Only/Right one and you want to force them to comply.

Also; antis getting into specific professions with the at least partial intent of such activity is not a new thing. I'll have to dig around for the post but one such anti did brag on Tumblr years ago about trying to convert her patients into adopting her views and mindset and she rightfully got ripped to shreds over it.

So I'll repeat. Anyone and especially antis who declare they are going into a profession specifically with the intent of causing harm to or manipulating people into adopting their views need a serious reality check and possibly also a prison cell.

It is unethical. It is dangerous.

Antis who proudly proclaim they're going to become a therapist so they can shut down and manipulate and unethically target all the 'nasty proshippers' make me laugh because they're going to get two months into any sort of qualifying course and be slapped in the face by the reality that therapists are obligated to remain objective and impartial and will lose their license if they're found to be using their position to be unfairly bias or negatively target clients based on their own personal beliefs and values.

"Objectivity helps counsellors avoid personal biases and allows them to focus on the client's needs without imposing their own beliefs or values." - American Counselling Association

"Therapy should feel like an inclusive and safe place for clients. Clients need to feel safe and supported in their work. And while all therapists have inherent biases and personal preferences, it is never appropriate for them to engage in discrimination, racism, sexism, or other forms of prejudice with clients." - Medcircle

You do not get into therapy to correct people. You get into therapy to help them. Therapy is not about the therapist.

Best of luck! 🍀

My message about my mental health

I promise to got to my psychiatrist tomorrow but first I need to think this through and memorize everything I remember. Only problem is I feel very anxious about telling my psychiatrist because I've been lying to my psychiatrist and my family lying that I was ok and too lazy but I'm anxious about it.

But I know it will fix my problem, my psychiatrist will help me get through this problem.

Okay, so I saw this video getting recommended to me by YouTube, and before I remembered what suicide squad (the actual movie) is about, my brain just casually assumed there's gotta be a connection between the picture in the thumbnail and the word "suicide" in the name. But after I DID remember what the movie was actually about, I figured that having a movie called "suicide squad" which is about five suicidal people who met each other and became friends at a psych ward, and the personal journeys of each of them and how they affected one another, is actually a really really good idea.

The poster is just five hands in psych-ward-bracelets doing a collective high five.

it’s weird to think how many mental disorders are diagnosed less by what the person actually does and more by how others respond to that person. like how in hysterionic personality disorder (off to a great start) a literal diagnostic criteria is the person’s emotions don’t seem convincing, which is obviously going to depend hugely upon a doctor’s personal bias. and in bpd, though it isn’t a criteria, you hear about clinicians diagnosing people based on the “meat grinder sensation” (feeling like their own insides are being ground up while talking to their patient), and with autism based on the “wall of glass phenomenon” (feeling like there is a barrier in reaching the person). they’re such weird ways to talk about people especially when the clinician’s own biases are rarely taken into account. 

Ok just want to write out my thoughts and if anyone relates or understands that is great. I was talking to my psychiatrist one day about how I sometimes feel the need to do certain things specifically with my face sometimes (scrunch my nose, stretch my face muscles, make a whistling noise between my teeth). It goes through phases and is worse when my anxiety is worse. She mentioned something about OCD. I have thought about it briefly since I pick at my nails so much and it feels more compulsive and obsessive like dermatillomania (which is as originally only listed under OCD because of the obsessive and compulsive traits it has, now it’s also a body focused repetitive behavior if I remember correctly). Other than that though I never gave it much thought. So I wandered on to the internet to learn more because it piqued my interest. I know OCD is more than organizing and cleaning but I wanted to learn more specifics, not to self diagnose but to try and understand how my brain could be working. I found something called mental contamination which was really interesting. It is basically you feel dirty even though you haven’t actually touched or done anything that would make you dirty. The thing I saw talked about feeling dirty because of someone else’s touch. It made me think about a few things. Mainly it made me think about how much I dislike being close to people and being touched. Some people I feel uncomfortable because it makes me feel dirty from being close to them (I don’t actually think they’re gross or dirty it’s like an intrusive thought, like what are you doing here thought go away). Most people though I feel like if they get too close they’re going to see me how I saw myself when I was younger, and sometimes still do; a disgusting monster that is unlovable. I’m afraid that when they get close they will think I’m gross and disgusting. A boy once told me in high school that I smelled bad. Thinking back it was a summer football practice (I was a manager) so he was probably smelling himself or the fifty other sweating dudes around. On top of the self hatred and anxiety that followed that, I have hyperhidrosis. So I physically felt disgusting from that and my health problems that make me nauseous. I spent many years feeling nauseous to the point where I was in the bathroom crying and missed many classes. Feeling nauseous just feels icky and it translated into me feeling like I am disgusting; like that icky feeling inside is showing outside.

I don’t know what the point of this post is except to ramble my thoughts “out loud”. Probably should find a new therapist but I’m doing okay mostly lol.

Psychiatry Department :)

I can't believe it's been 4 weeks since the first day I got here in the Psychiatry department, and it's finally the last day I'm gonna have at this department as a co-assistant. 

Psychiatry department is totally different than any other department that I have been. It was thrilling, yet so fun. And I got a lot of story to tell, but I'm just going to write how I think and feel about this department.

After these 4 weeks I have been through, I must admit that Psychiatry is now officially my favorite department in med school. I can't believe I'm writing this on my tumblr page, but I can't help it. I just love it so much that I think I should write about this.

My first impression about Psychiatry department was not so good. I used to think that it was not interesting and too complicated for my taste. I didn't like it. I mean I used to think that dealing with people with mental problem was going to give me so much trouble. I mean why dealing with other people's problem when you already got a lot yourself? And why trying to solve people's problem when you can't even solve one of your own? 

But then, I have a very strict teacher here, whom I respect a lot and who push everyone to study hard enough so that every med students know Psychiatry as well as they know another branch of medicine. The same thing happened to me too - I was pushed pretty hard enough to make me hit the books and get to know Psychiatry better. At first I was just motivated to study and pass all the tests here, but then I realize that the more I get to know about it, the more it gets interesting. And then yeah, suddenly I find myself being in love again - not with a person - but with all the stuffs about Psychiatry. It was unexpected and spontaneous. It was like falling in love with a boy that you once knew for sure you would never fall in love with. xD 

Now it's done. I have passed all the tests, and I am thankful for that. It was such an unforgettable experience here at Psychiatry. I had my difficult times here, but I also had fun. I guess going through the difficult times and reaching the finish line pretty well is what makes it a lot more fun. It's kind of sad leaving this department, but it's okay. I have to move on, so I that I can finally become a doctor. Even though this is a goodbye - I have a good feeling that this goodbye will someday bring me back to another hello to this department.

So, wish me luck. :) 

Keep on dreaming and believing.

as far as i can tell, a main issue with psychiatry seems to be the human mind is best modelled as a continuous set of possible behaviours constantly shifting around vague patterns while most prescription proscribing professionals seem focused on modelling it as a finite discrete set with one “normal” category

In the back of my mind I keep thinking I need to completely break, and then I will get bettter. Mental health Phoenix

But that is not a thing. Only struggling with IFS, CBT, DBT therapy and medication does. Maybe diet ….

And I almost feel like I a, going to break.

Waiting for a meeting with a psychiatrist

We will see what will she say

We will see if she finds out about my cuttings

I'll try talking her into doing a diagnostic test

Maybe we will know something

I'll keep you updated

Wait about 40 minutes for the news!

God knew if he made me not have treatment resistant depression, that I would become an unstoppable force to be reckoned with. Or, a rant.

I'm going through Venlafaxine/Effexor withdrawals and HOLY FUCK this is terrible, I spent months tapering down to 75mg but I couldn't wait any longer to get off this capsule of hell. But now I'm going to try Bupropion AKA Zyban which isn't covered by the PBS for depression, it's only covered for smoking cessation, which makes no fucking sense bc its apparently quite an effective antidepressant, which means that it costs ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT SIX DOLLARS (186 AUD or 125USD) which means that I'll probably only try this one only until the box runs out bc I do NOT have the money to spend on a medication that, with my luck, wont even fucking work and I'll feel waaay too guilty if my dad pays for it, even though he can afford it and it is his legal obligation... so my options for treating my depression, not including therapy bc that is also too expensive and I'm too self aware for it to work, are:

spend over 1,200 dollars per year and take the Bupropion/Zyban, if it does work.

try MAOIs, which means I'll have to go through MORE withdrawals and most likely have to stop taking my ADHD meds.

try and see if Ketamine therapy is legal where I live for minors and just in general, then try and get a job to pay for it bc holy shit it is expensive.

try even MORE SSRI's even though I've already tried six different ones since I was eight years old and I'm almost seventeen.

try electroconvulsive therapy, which will most likely not be covered by either my insurance OR Medicare and will one hundred percent cost a LOT of money to have done regularly.

and my final option, which is to follow in the footsteps of my paternal half siblings and all my paternal first cousins, which would be succumbing to drug addiction as a way to numb myself and pretend that everything is fine.

Basically, I'll either spend a ton of money which I do not have, and also need to save for top surgery, which may or may not end up actually treating me, or I follow in the footsteps of pretty much everyone on my dads side of the family and repeat the cycle of generational trauma.

So, either way, I am absolutely fucked.

At the next visit to a psychiatrist, I will ask if she will prescribe a Xanax for me to try, I wonder if she will agree to it... I would take a couple of pills right away lol

I think I'm addicted to the codeine pills, ooops