Grief Journey - Tumblr Posts
it's been quite some time. so much emotion and movement happening, yet i still feel as though i've been at some standstill. waiting ... for what exactly? i wouldn't even begin to be able to utter the words to you. perhaps i'll use the most obvious excuse. that being, i've been running away from the idea of self -- whatever that should mean, better yet, look like.
these days, finding the time to unravel and weave the mingling thoughts that swim ferociously within my mind ... seem to be that of luxury. i crave to hide away so that i may find my thoughts and piece them up like once before.
i hate how i worship you. i hate how i’ve inflicted pain upon myself, carving a whole so deep within my heart that only you can fill. i despise myself for creating a shrine of your presence that i have buried deep within my soul. you are in the very air i inhale and with every breath i draw, you somehow have made way to appear. how is this so? what dark spell have you placed on my poor soul?
i did not sign a contract with life to have a “when it rains, it perpetually pours” clause.
someone, somebody, anybody … please send help.