Grsm - Tumblr Posts
Don't forget xenogenders!
Reblog if your account is a xenogender safe space or owned by someone under the xenogender umbrella!
since the old version of this post was flagged for 'adult content'...
reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!
along with that, reblog if your account is a non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the enby spectrum!
The majority of people on the aspec are aware of favorable, indifferent, etc. when talking about personal stances toward romance/sex. But what about ambivalent? I don’t see people mentioning it nearly as much. Romance/sex ambivalence needs to be more recognized. I’ll give a brief explanation for those who don’t know what romance/sex ambivalent is.
Since I’m sex-ambivalent, I’ll use that as an example. Sex-ambivalent is a personal stance on sex. Your feelings toward sex may fluctuate and be unclear. (Everything I say can be applied to romance-ambivalent as well with some obvious tweaking). Your personal stance could range from the feeling of being indifferent to averse, favorable to repulsed, indifferent to repulsed, whatever. Personally, I fall anywhere from feeling like indifferent to repulsed.
How we feel may vary depending on mood or what types of acts are being performed. For some they may be more comfortable when it’s with fictional characters. Or maybe they’re more comfortable with different people. I may be in a in a mood and be rather repulsed by the idea of anything sexual, but when I’m in a better mood it doesn’t bother me as much. There are many other reason why your feelings towards romance/sex may fluctuate, but this is just a general overview.
I may occasionally read erotic fanfiction and enjoy it, but I can’t even stand the thought of actual p*rn. Sometimes I don’t even want to read any kind do fanfiction like that. While I do enjoy certain types of more erotic fanfiction, I only enjoy it when certain types of acts are performed. Usually I just like a passionate make-out that gets a bit heated. Maybe some stuff that gets more suggestive too. But anything that involves actual more intimate parts on top or bottom gets an immediate “Nope” for me and I suddenly get more uncomfortable. I can’t stand the idea of intercourse or read about, but I can be totally okay with other “less intense” sexual acts.
I also want to point being being greyace is not equivalent to being sex ambivalent. I’m a black stripe ace meaning I experience no sexual attraction, but I am also sex-ambivalent. You can be greyace and sex ambivalent, be black stripe and ambivalent, and even be allo and sex-ambivalent! Ambivalent isn’t just a way to describe aros/aces, it can apply to anyone no matter your orientation.
Romance/sex-oscillating is also another slightly different term that describes how feelings towards the concept of romance/sex fluctuate/change over time. The factor for changing feelings when your oscillating is the passage of time v.s the factor for changing when your ambivalent is going to things like mood, whether or not it’s the written word, fiction or non-fiction, the types of acts being performed, etc. It depends on the person what external factors may change their feelings. Some people use both labels, some people, like me, don’t, and that’s okay. I apologize if I didn’t explain oscillating well enough. I do not identify with the label myself or feel that way, so please tell me if I could improve upon anything said.
All of this to say, some people feelings on romance/sex are very complicated and don’t fit super neatly into one single stance or they can fluctuate over time. You may feel differently about different situations than I do, and that’s okay. All us ambivalents aren’t the same after all!
never to sick to make up genders
Hey y’all, so, with my chronic illness and executive functioning issues there is like NO WAY I’lll be able to keep up modding this blog (especially since I’ve been gone for like, ever). Not that this blog is stopping, I’m sure the other mods will keep up.
However, I’m very invested in the goal for this blog. Not gonna lie, sometimes there’s been issues here that I’m not happy with. But I’m pretty detached from the blog itself now. I feel like starting a new project but I’m kinda stumped. I’d love ideas from anyone who would be interested in that.
I still consider myself an affiliate here, but I’m gonna resign for now. I don’t want to be inactive in the community, though, so I hope I figure something out.
Also, to those wishing to join the skype group, I’d recommend messaging someone besides me because I don’t log in anymore. If any other mod wants to offer their info that’d be fine.
I’m still gonna coin genders and make flags sometimes.
~Raleigh
Fair warning, I’m sourcing the initial statements from youtube (I am including references I find and possible corrections). Also know that I wrote this more than a year ago, and never truly finished it.
But here it is.
First I’ll place what they said, and then I’ll add some sources/corrections if I have any. BTW, this will mostly be about asexuals.
tldr; Many countries allow rape within marriage and others allow rapists to marry the person they raped so they won’t be charged with rape; Russia sees asexuals along with other GRSM (LGBTQ+) people as mentally ill; Asexuals can have difficulty seeking asylum for their sexuality; asexuals are seen as less human; many asexuals experience corrective rape; aro and ace people are not always protected from discrimination
“1.Hetero sex is a law in 9 countries that enforce the religious law of consummation of marriage, which obviously puts aces, even straight ones in danger (I know, I live near one of those countries)”
Obviously this not only imposes a problem on sex repulsed ace people, but also just people who don’t want sex etc. According to Wikipedia, about 47 countries allow marital rape with no punishment, with some specifically excluding rape within marriage as being classified as rape. It should be noted the page mentions that the word rape comes from “to steal or seize”, and within marriage it would not be considered as seizing someone from someone’s else, so its maybe possible that its mentioned somewhere else.
I assume this person who wrote the list from youtube was referring to the fact that in 9 countries (though a newer article from The Guardian says 20) as of 2017, rape can be forgiven by law if the two individuals get married.
Marital Rape By Country- Wikipedia
Marry Your Rapist Laws-SCMP
Marry Your Rapist Laws-The Guardian
“2. Russia sees Asexuals as sick individuals and they can’t even drive there”
They can get their license taken away if the law finds out. This is also a problem for other members of the GRSM community and many also experience threats and danger.
Russia on Driving- Human Rights First
“3. Asexuals are one of the least accepted asylum seekers in the world due to governments not understanding the dangers they face in the middle east for being suspected of being gay (because some are unable to have hetero sex)”
I had a bit of a hard time finding info on this (given, I didn’t search for very long, but I’m tight on time), but the basics is that many countries don’t consider asexuality to be something that is discriminated against, and so many cannot seek asylum through that. Based on my inferences, with no actual sources, I’m also guessing that aromantic and asexual individuals may have a hard time getting citizenship through marriage, though that’s a different topic and I have no actual factual basis for that.
Asexual People Excluded From “Safe Country of Origin” Concept- European Database of Asylum Law
Info On Groups in GRSM Who Seek Asylum-Epsilon Project
“4. Currently the only country that accepts asexual marriage as valid is Australia. no one else.”
The best I got on this is that in the UK and Wales as of 2020 had a law that allowed marriage to be void if the couple did not have sex. The rest of the info was on how you can get divorced based in part on lack of sex in a relationship/partner withholding sex, which does not seem discriminatory to me.
Consummation Laws in the UK and Wales- Asexuality.org
“also; Asexuals face almost as much violence as gays, according to the recent lgbt survey that showed: Gays:0.9% Aces:0.8% and they are believed to be the “most heartless cold robotic evil” sexuality according to the last study that questioned 90k straight individuals who ranked which sexuality they see as “good” vs “evil” the one that was seen as the worst, was Asexuality.”
Page 8 of the cited article below states that according to a study, within sexual minority groups, asexuals are perceived as least human and likely to experience less emotions. The same article states that there are many cases of corrective rape against asexual individuals due to their asexuality. Additionally, 43.5% of almost 8,000 asexuals surveyed reported having experienced some sort of sexual violence according to Buzzfeed.
Corrective Rape- Hasting’s Women’s Law Journal
Asexuality and Sexual Harrassment- Buzzfeed
Some additional things: Under many laws, aromantic people are not protect against discrimination, as well as, through a loophole, those who are homoromantic asexuals. Though it may seem exagerated, the person does give an example of an employer saying “I’m not firing him cause he has sex with men, im firing him because hes romantically attracted to men”. Though it may seem a bit absurd, it shows the fault in these laws in place.
Musings On The Law-Asexuality Archive
A thesis I found:
A-IDENTITY POLITICS: ASEXUAL EXCEPTIONALISM, PRECARITY, AND ACTIVISM by Ryan Sheehan
I will continue fighting for the point that aspec people actually do experience oppression, no matter what points some exclusionists might make about it.
Being on the asexual/aromantic spectrum is an absolutely isolating experience. Growing up, you see such a heavy pressure (in America, at least) for developing sexual interest. You grow up seeing ads of half nude women meant to catch your attention but for some reason, you don't really look at it twice. You hear your dad make a comment about some attractive woman on tv and you feel nothing. You grow up with your friends while they're obsessed with boys and you feel like an outcast. Maybe these are small things, but they are constant and they add up to that sense of foreboding and feeling different from everyone else. You think there's something wrong with you.
On my experience, I haven't had a lot of turmoil over societal pressures because I actively detest them and have a history of that mindset. But whenever I dated people, this became a problem. I'd force myself to roleplay and participate in sexual activity even when it made me feel nothing, else even when it bored me or disgusted me, because maybe this time would be it. Maybe this would be the action or string of words that fixes me. It never did, and then I would ask myself: what's wrong with you? Aren't you attracted to these people? Why am I so different? I'm okay with being different, but it becomes a problem when it effects the people I like to be different with.
Exclusionists might read that and figure it's not a big deal. And yet, gay people grow up with the same emotional isolation when they can't feel these things towards women. It is detrimental.
"I can fix you." "You haven't met the right man yet." "You're going to grow out of it." All things ace - and gay - people have heard.
Forcing ourselves to be husbands and wives and fathers and mothers.
Our own community denying us our existance.
The threat of rape still exists for ace people. Corrective rape continues to be a thing that exists for us.
When I came out to my mother, she called my a psychopath for not feeling that towards people, because I had to explain to her what it was.
Maybe it isn't on the same level of oppression gay people face. I mean, other countries where homosexual activity is illegal don't have the same policy for ace people. But oppression is still oppression.
And regardless of what we face, why does the validity of an identity have to be sourced from oppression and pain?
reposting on my main bc it has more followers. i’m underage, don’t have any money to donate but please, if you’re able to donate, don’t hesitate. putting tags on so people can see this.
PLEASE DON’T SCROLL PAST THIS!!!
Hi! My (Chosen) name is Addison Stars, and I’m a 19 year old disabled semi immuno-compromised, mentally ill & nd, trans and queer person living on welfare. I am currently trying to get moved up to disability aid, but the process has been extremely difficult and is taking far too long. I am currently living in an extremely unstable household; I finally moved out of my abusive family’s home at the beginning of the pandemic, and me and my cat ended up getting stuck in a room in a very unsafe home. My roommates have threatened and actively followed through with cutting off the houses water, internet, other basic utilities, have threatened to not allow me to use the kitchen I pay to use, have given me food poisoning on several occasions, are beginning to (TW) s/xually harass me, are constantly putting my cat and myself in danger and actively do not believe in the Pandemic. They have stolen or gotten rid of several of my things, actively threatened to and attempted to steal my computer and phone, and have almost gotten my (TW) cat killed several times. On top of all of this, I am physically disabled and barely capable of standing for periods of time longer than 20ish minutes, and mobility is extremely painful for me. I also get sick extremely easily, and it doesn’t help that I can’t afford food to the point where most days I just don’t eat, or I have to ask friends for help to buy dinner. I need several braces for various physical issues, I need money to afford groceries, I need to be able to pay for my cats flea treatments and possibly her shots and surgery to get her fixed, and I need money to help me attempt to move into a more stable household without having to give up my cat and basically all of my belongings. While they aren’t top of my list, I would also love to be able to afford a wheelchair to help with my mobility, and I would love to get my own apartment for my and my cats safety and comfort, though without help I’ll likely just need to rent another room. The last goal that would be cool to reach would be money to put towards transition goals, (ie. legal name change, testosterone), but I doubt that will be reached. Any aid you can offer would be absolutely amazing. Besides for gofundme I can take paypal and bank transfers. My goals are set in CAD. Thank you so much for reading and spreading this around, and donating if you have! <3 You can reach me for more questions: paypal: https://www.paypal.me/sireng6 tumblr: @queernby discord: sunshine#8804 (Current goal is set at $2000 because I wasn’t sure where to start, but if we could go over that would be amazing!!!!!)