I Cant Anymore - Tumblr Posts
Me today and watching everyone "booping" everyone...
I can't...😂
Just gotten a MacBook (2017) and now I can say...
Just simply wanted Garageband on there to expand my music but it's not compatible...BUT there was a workaround...it took a lot out of me...but I finally now have it and now I just need to learn how it all works...
15 minutes later:
(me staring at the features of Garageband like I don't WHAT the hell I'm looking at...)
I hate these charactetrs (not fake) (real)
All these porn/sex bots are getting so fucking ridiculous. I can barely go on any tags without therm taking up the whole feed. Wtf tumblr?!
Skam spoilers.... incomplete skam spoilers everywhere...
they are just managing to make us anxious and open every social media account we had buried just to find out more... please!! please just end our misery with the trailer!!
does anyone else jumps to check for more spoilers everytime you see this?
and is even worse if there are at least 10 because you expect it to be another earthquake?
IM SORRY BUT THE IOS/TUMBLR UPDATE AND SUPERNATURAL MEMES ARE TAKING ME OUT-
does duolingo ever make you question your existence in this life really really hard?
like what am i doing with my life. where am i really getting with all this. why can't i be as successful as this six year old college student.
i would like everyone to know that "a negroni...spagliato...with prosecco in it" is singlehandedly ruling my life right now
emma darcy has me in a chokehold and i'm very thankful for it
Can anyone PLEASE explain to me what this creepy fucking pirate is doing on my dashboard and how to get rid of it?? Whenever I click on him, the background just turns into this newspaper-y look but there seems to be no way of turning it off?? Great, as if my dashboard wasn't cluttered enough already!
I mean, fucking look at him. He looks like my worst nightmare. It's so bad, I even considered my dashboard being hacked somehow. Does anyone else experience this? Is this a tumblr thing? If so, WHAT THE FUCK TUMBLR?? Like-
The dashboard already looks like shit and now I have to look at this fucking nightmare whenever I open my dashboard? Did you think about people being seriously SCARED by this? It even covers some of the options on the right side, I-
Honestly, I can't put up with this anymore. I will literally cry myself to sleep over this.
michael's slander to toby flenderson is starting to hurt LET THE MAN LIVE HIS LIFE
they said this man gets dragged to hell for confessing his love to another man........... every other homophobic writer wants what spn has
High res. Mermaid fin Jade and Floyd Leech groovies
"he looks like mr. beans brother" I WAS PEACEFULLY SCROLLING ON PINTEREST AND SAW THIS, I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
This is like the 6th time i got a notification like this and this time my mom saw it and she said "who's (the username of my moot)?" and she's been side eyeing me 😭😭
*Enid hugs Wednesday impulsively*
Enid: *realises what she's done & pulls away* "Oh- I'm sorry. I forgot you don't like hugs"
Wednesday: *pulls Enid back in* "Suffering is so much sweeter if I suffer for you"
Enid: *melts in Wednesday's arms*
Uncontrollably sobbing atm
Justice League Dark: Apokolips War (2020)
i miss you, don't call me | lee seokmin
SYNOPSIS. in which a particular boy has been clouding your mind lately, and you decide to drink away the thought of him𑁋when that isn't the right choice. PAIRING. ex!lee seokmin x gn!reader GENRE. angst, hurt/comfort... but also not really WARNINGS. drinking, swearing WORD COUNT. 2.5k
notes: kinda inspired from the song "i miss you, don't call me" by alessia cara. just wanna say i am forever guilty and full of shame for writing angst for this man. it feels completely out of character to write angst for him 😭😭
You hate the taste of alcohol.
You hate the way it lingers a bitter aftertaste on your lips, the way it burns like a smoldering ember down your throat that refuses to be extinguished, the way it wraps its tendrils around your senses and makes the world spin so merry around you.
You hate the taste of alcohol, yet there's a certain fascination in the way it blurs the edges of reality and a strange comfort in its familiarity. You were never usually one to drink in general, but tonight was different, and you find yourself caught between the resistance and the surrender, tip-toeing on the edge of clarity and a spellbound haze.
This is supposed to make you forget. Forget the deadlines, the expectations, the responsibilities, the miniscule hole in your chest that you have been trying to close. This is supposed to propel you in the right direction𑁋at least, that's what you convinced yourself in the hours before you wounded up in the middle of your living room with a half-empty glass in your hand. It's midnight, or something, you don't know for sure, and you couldn't be bothered to even check anyway.
This is supposed to help you forget him. He did nothing wrong, or anything wrong for the matter. His smile was always so bright like the sun, so full of life. He's like a bruise that refuses to fade, yet merely painful to the touch. You take another sip, and the amber liquid seems to carry with it the warmth of his laughter. And when you close your eyes just for a few seconds, you swear you can feel the warmth of that figurative sun on your face. Or maybe it's the alcohol. Or both.
It's been almost a year since you let him go. The reasons were complicated𑁋or simply, you both were just different𑁋and the echoes of that choice still reverberate in the quiet corners of your heart. You were convinced it was for the best for both of you, and all it took was two sentences for that line to be cut right on the same couch that you sat on.
And yet, the ache of his absence persists, leaving a void in your chest that you couldn't stitch up yourself.
Does he... still think about you from time to time?
It's a question you've asked yourself in the quiet moments before sleep. You wonder if he ever glances at the same moon that hangs in the night sky and thinks of the moments you shared under its wake.
You try to bury the thought away under the weight of another sip, but it resurfaces like an insistent tide as you let out a heated hiss to its taste. The room around you sways slightly, your head is starting to pound, and your thoughts are restless with nothing but just him.
The screen to your phone lights up on the coffee table, and you glance down at it, suddenly contemplating the idea of reaching out to him. Maybe it's the alcohol whispering in your ear, urging you to seek closure, or perhaps, rekindle a flame that was never truly extinguished.
The unanswered question lingers like a spectre in the room. Does he still think about you? The question gnaws angrily at your skin, and you find yourself reaching for the phone almost instinctively, as if drawn by a sudden invisible force.
With a deep breath, you unlock your phone. His contact is still there, his slightly blurry name staring right back at you like an open invitation. You tap a few times before landing on his number, and with a mixture of intoxication and courage, you press the call button.
The phone rings, each tone amplifying the drumming in your head. Your heartbeat quickens with each ring, the sound of it echoing in your ears. The haze in your mind seems to intensify, and you realise you might be crossing a line, but it's too late to turn back now.
The seconds tick away, and just as you begin to think about hanging up, he answers.
"Hello?"
His voice reaches through the phone and into your clouded consciousness. For a moment, you freeze, caught between the impulse to speak and the weight of the drunken-induced courage that made you make this call.
"Hey, Seokmin." Your voice comes out smaller and weaker than you anticipated.
A beat of silence follows your words. The weight of his name hangs in the air. You can almost sense Seokmin trying to process the unexpected call.
"Y/N?" His voice carries a mix of surprise and concern. "Is that really you?"
"Yeah," You reply, your words sounding less sure than you intended. "It's me."
There's another pause, and you can almost feel the distance between you two through the phone.
Then his voice comes through again, gentle and cautious, "Is everything okay?"
"Um..." You croak out, your thoughts stumbling over the words. "I just... I just needed to hear your voice."
Another pause. The only thing you could hear is the faint static on the other line.
"My voi𑁋Wait, are... are you drunk?"
A nervous laugh escapes your lips. "Uh, maybe a little," You admit embarrassingly.
Seokmin lets out a soft sigh on the other end of the line. You can't tell if it's from relief, concern, or disappointment, but the weight of it presses against your chest. It's almost suffocating.
"I just..." You start, the words hanging in the air. "is it bad to... to say that I miss you?"
The silence that follows is almost deafening. You can nearly imagine his face on the other end𑁋the ever expressive sunshine Lee Seokmin whom you spent nearly all of your college years with. A faint smile tugs at your lips at the thought of it, the thought of him. Sure, you've wondered how he has been from time to time, but tonight felt different. You can't tell if the alcohol is confusing missing with longing, or if it's amplifying a truth you've kept buried for too long.
"Y/N, you... We don't even live in the same city anymore." Seokmin's voice breaks the heavy silence. There's some suppression to his voice, like he's trying to hold something back, but you don't seem to notice. "Things have changed."
You bite your lip unconsciously, almost too hard you think it might bruise and bleed. The reality of it all settles in𑁋that you live hundreds of miles away from each other𑁋and a knot forms in your stomach. You take another sip of your drink, hoping the alcohol can provide some sort of shield for the vulnerability seeping through.
"I'm... I'm not asking to get back together, I..." Your voice trails off again, and you swallow a lump in your throat. "Things here have been awful, and I couldn't help... couldn't help but think of you, I guess."
Seokmin's side of the line remains quiet for a moment, absorbing the weight of your words. You can almost envision the wheels turning in his mind. There's a siren that wails outside your apartment for a few seconds, before fading away in the distance.
"You're drunk, Y/N," Seokmin states. "This isn't the best time to talk𑁋"
"I just wanted to know if you still thought about me too," You interrupt him, voice firm. The words are forcing themselves out at this point, and there's an urgency in your tone, almost as if the alcohol has taken control of your tongue.
Seokmin sighs audibly on the other end, and you can almost picture him running a hand through his hair.
"This... this isn't fair, Y/N," he finally responds. "You can't just... call me in the middle of the night and tell me all this now."
His words sting, not because they're harsh, but because they're true.
"You were... you were always so cheery, you know?" You chuckle, words slurring slightly. "Even when I was drowning in stress, you had... th-this way of making everything feel lighter. And right now, I... I'm looking for a new job. Everything's been a fucking nightmare, and you... were the first person I thought of and..."
You stop your track in your words, gulping down an imaginary mass wedged down your throat. When your cast your eyes around your dark apartment, all you could see are the remnants of a life you used to share with him, and the mess you were left to clean up with.
You tighten your grip on your phone slightly. "Do you remember when, um... we used to stay up late, working on our assignments together? It... it feels like a lifetime ago."
There's a soft laughter you hear on the other end, and you think for a moment you might just have made him smile. You feel a little bit lighter at the thought.
"And... the pizza boxes that we turned into little tables because our dorm room couldn't fit all of our textbooks and a decent eating space?" You add on, finding yourself smiling to the visual. Just a tiny bit.
There's some shifting on the other side. He's remembering all of it too.
"We were a little messy back then, weren't we?" he chuckles fondly.
You bite your lip nervously again. "But... it was our mess, right?"
"Yeah," You hear him say, and there's a warmth in his voice. "Our mess that we somehow made work."
You take a sip of your drink again, even though you really shouldn't. But you can't help it. The alcohol seems to fuel your courage, or perhaps it's the shared nostalgia that wraps around your conversation like a comforting blanket. The messiness, the laughter, the late-night talks with his arms around you𑁋they were all part of a chapter that shaped both of you.
Your mind is hazy, but you press on, driven by a longing you can't quite articulate.
"I-I'm sorry, I don't know why I called," You confess, voice trembling. "I just felt this emptiness, and I thought... I thought hearing your voice might fill it, even for just a second."
"It's okay," Seokmin is quick to reassure gently and soothingly. "You don't need to say sorry; it does... feel nice hearing you. But calling me in the middle of the night, when you're drunk... it's not the solution, okay?"
You nod, even though he can't see you. There's some heat that prickles at the corners of your eyes, but you blink them back, trying to contain yourself. You've already made an enough mess of yourself this entire night.
"I know it wasn't..." You clench and unclench your other hand, nails digging into your skin. "I just... needed someone to talk to, and you were that person for me."
"But... I'm not that person anymore," Seokmin clarifies, and his words seems to hit a nerve. "You have to be that person for yourself."
You inhale shakily, realising that you've been clinging to a version of him that exists only in memories. For a moment, you're suspended between the past and the present. The truth in his statement stings, but the pain is necessary. You've been using this idea of him, the memories you shared, to help ground you.
You wish you could reach through the phone and touch the past, rewrite the script, and undo the choices that led to this painful distance. But you already know you can't. It's too late.
Seokmin's right𑁋things have changed.
"Can you... just answer what I asked before?" You ask softly, carefully, tapping your fingers nervously against the glass in your hand. "If you... if you still thought about me."
There's a sound on the other end. You're not sure what it is𑁋a sigh, a chair shifting, or perhaps the subtle closing of his eyes. Whatever it is, it heightens the anticipation.
"Of course I... I do think about you," Seokmin admits, and that particular weakness to his voice paralyses you. Your heart catches in your throat. "I can never forget about what we had. But... we've both moved forward, Y/N. Life took us in different directions."
His words hit you like a cold breeze. It doesn't bring the comfort you expected; instead, it leaves you with a mix of emotions𑁋vulnerability, acceptance, and a tinge of sorrow.
"Maybe... in a different universe?" You hear the uncertainty in your own voice, a wistful hope that hangs in the heavy air around you.
You try to think you imagine a smile to his face when you say that, but the silence on the other end stretches out, and reality settles in again.
"Maybe," he concedes, and the word hangs there, suspended between what once was and what could have been. Just not in this one. "You deserve all the happiness in the world, Y/N. I need you to be happy, even if it's without me. Life keeps moving, and we have to move with it. You're one of the strongest people I know, okay? You can get through this. I believe in you. I always have, and I always will."
You deserve happiness too, Seokmin.
Despite the gloominess to your thoughts, every single one of his words echoes within your head. And it hurts, your head throbbing from the alcohol and emotions. The truth tastes like a bitter pill, and you swallow it down, the sting lingering in your chest.
"I miss you," You admit before you could think straight, slipping out like a confession in the dark, suddenly feeling all too exposed.
"I... I miss you too," Seokmin responds hesitantly, softly; you can hear the small, hint of a smile in his voice. You wonder if he's been smiling like the sun these days. "but... I don't want you to call me like this. Not when you're hurting and drunk. It's not healthy for either of us."
His words carry a gentle yet firm tone, a reminder of the boundaries that now exist between you. You can feel the reality of the situation settling in and the pages that turned since you both went your separate ways.
"I know," You murmur. "I just... needed to say it out loud."
For a minute, you both don't say anything. It's oddly comfortable, yet fragile with an unspoken sadness.
"Promise me you'll take care of yourself, okay?" Seokmin's voice breaks through the quiet. It's a request, a plea.
"I promise," You respond, the sincerity cutting through the haze. "And you take care too, Seokmin."
The conversation lingers for a moment, as if both of you are reluctant to sever the weak tie that binds you in this moment.
"Goodbye, Y/N."
"Goodbye, Seokmin."
When the call disconnects, you sit there for a while, phone in hand, the room now silent except for the distant sounds of the city outside.
You glance down at the almost-empty glass down in your hand, and in a swift movement, down the rest of the drink down your throat, feeling the familiar burn as it goes down. The room seems to sway a bit more than before, and you clutch your phone a bit more tighter as if it might steady you.
Then you shoot your eyes back down at your phone, seeing the way it turns on when you tap the screen, the sudden brightness of the screen stinging your eyes.
Impulsively, you navigate to your messages, and without thinking too much, you find Seokmin's contact and start typing.
[y/n] i love you, i'm sorry
With a deep breath, you hit send, and flip your phone over. Fuck, what did you just do? You're going insane.
Then your phone vibrates again, and you quickly grab it, heart racing.
But then your heart drops. It's not a message; it's a notification.
The number you have reached is no longer available.
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