Incorrect Iliad - Tumblr Posts

Mamma mia but Donna is clytemnestra and instead of getting remarried she fucking kills him

The Iliad summarized

Or at least for the first 9 years

Hear me out, if it's cold in the night and Achilles or Patroclus is stealing blanket, they don't fight, just take a second one and are fine.

U know who fights over the blanket?

Penelope. If Odysseus takes more than half, she can basically just kick him out of the bed and she is absolutely not sorry. Is HER blanket, okey? HER

Agamemnon: okey, so I give Achilles those girls and maybe than he will agree to fight for us again

Odysseus quiet: Yeah sure, couse he totally wants girls

Nestor: What?

Odysseus: Nothing, I just think it's going to work

Odysseus: You can't tell me what to do, you're not my mom

Athena: Well, since your mom is dead, yes, I am

Odysseus: Wait, my mOM IS DEAD!!

Athena: SHIT-

I'm sorry King Agamemnon, but I don't think my husband can go on the war right now, he's a little bit... Sick, I'm afraid

I'll be draw him again and again until I won't be satisfied

Agamemon:We have to talk about a serious problem

Diomedes:Odysseus lack of childhood/family trauma ?

Menelaus:yes, it's so weird right ?

Priam:it's really cute how you gone deffed us with the power of Friendship and all. But we are Troy, with the Walls bild by GODS Menelaus:you motherfucker you didn't let me finshed, a 1000 ships Priam:dadah, I don't cear, I do not cear

After the Oath of Tyndareus

Menelaus :I would also like to give a shout out to my fellow nominees. Who will now and forever, be know as the guys that lost to the Fucking Ginger, Second second son, of greeks most cursed family

Murder dosn't count as a Sport Odysseus

Palamedes: *invents dice games*

Odysseus: I'm more of a sports guy, myself

Patroclus: Damn, the power went out. Achilles: Don’t worry, I got this. Achilles: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up* Patroclus: What-? Achilles: I swallowed a glow stick! Patroclus, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

And in most cases he isn´t the one who threw it,

Sister preach higher!

haters gonna hate

omg guys wdym Odysseus did anything he's a SAINT. You're all just a bunch of haters not the kind of energy I'm looking for rn, get well soon I'll pray for you, bye 🫶

Odysseus: when i was your age- Diomedes: when i was your height- Odysseus: now listen here you little shit.

Diomedes: stinky bread Odysseus: bulbous bread Diomedes:....... Odysseus:---- Patroclus: boys.....? YOU´RE BECOMING BLUE! *both of them are containing the laughter* Patroclus: I heard Penelope has found a new hu.. *an arrow misses his head* Odysseus and Diomedes: Do you want to die tonight?

Patroclus: And here we see Ody and Dio in their natural habitat. Texting each other variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make each other laugh. Odysseus: Gaelic bread. Diomedes: Grueling brad. Odysseus: Ha ha, glamorous beans

They want to meet Hades sooner than later.

Teucer: You know you can die from that, right? Patroclus: *smoking a cigarette* That's the point. Ajax: *drinking alcohol* We're trying to hurry this up. Achilles: *Eating raw cookie dough and nodding*

jimin: hey, what are you reading?

jungkook: it's a book about all the things i love

jimin: but.. that's a photo album of taehyung

jungkook: exactly.

yoongi: you have to go to college.

taehyung: why?

yoongi: to get nice things.

yoongi, pointing at his watch: see this watch?

taehyung: yeah.

yoongi: stole this from my roommate, freshman year.