Its Sad - Tumblr Posts

i wish I could be funny and iconic like those people that make Tumblr posts and they get reposted onto Instagram or smth

hehehe me when like prom queen animation !!!!!

me when um I was sad !!! I remember this took like 4 hour and I was just listening to the same 15 Seconds OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER FOR 4 HOURS no wonder I'm insane

one of the most toxic things i’ve ever done is ignore the bad in someone because i love them

there’s this financial literacy kind of influencer who i follow on instagram. and she said something about like avoiding impulse buying like ‘oh when i want something i wait two days and if i’m still thinking about it then i really want it then i’ll get it’

but guess what. i’ve discovered this also works for restraining yourself from opening up to your mother about your mental health.

hello tumblr

I am here to say that I'm not ok.

thankfully I don't wanna die.

but I'm definitely not ok.

thanks.

society if finn had grown up to be ugly

Finished the update early and couldn't wait to post it!

Heads up that I am very mean to poor Mu Qing here, but I promise things will get better. They just have to get bad first <3

Maybe it's just me but I don't see how anyone can watch what's going on in the world rn and not contribute or say anything about it. Idk how you can see what you've see, and hear what you've heard and not have the burning desire to do better. Or to at least try to make change. It's disappointing yeah but, it's mostly sad.

Edge @s-a-r-c-a-s-t-i-c-t-r-a-s-h

Ok I always thought the "I am ---" trilogy and the Clé trilogy were two separate things but I've also always been confused by "I am YOU," the featured track from the final "I am ---" album. Like, it's sweet and all, and it makes a little sense (the line "I see myself in you" really clears things up for that one tbh), but it's never really felt like a resolution.

If I think about it, though, the Clé trilogy seems to be another identity-finding journey that centers on separating your identity from others. I don't mean, like, uniqueness, but rather not relying on others for your sense of identity. If I'm right, then Clé is actually a continuation of the "I am ---" albums.

However, the I am WHO album kind of doesn't fit very well here, because the main featured track is "My Pace," which is about not paying attention to like. peer pressure and stuff and doing the things you want to how you want to do them instead without comparing yourself to others. That kind of feels like it fits better with the whole separating self from others thing Clé has going on.

I vaguely remember hearing that the other song they were considering making the main track for I am WHO was "Awkward Silence," which, don't get me wrong, I LOVE that song, but it does not fit the vibe of the album so I'm kind of glad they did not do that, but it's also about not feeling pressured in social situations.

I guess you could say "My Pace" and "Awkward Silence" fit the progression of the "I am ---" albums, in a way, because they're starting to realize who they are, but I feel like they're too far ahead for having a whole 'nother album left. To be honest, I've always thought "Question" fits the vibes the best.

Anyways, I have a sort of theory for how the progression goes and ties together between these 6 albums:

I am NOT - hold on a minute who do I really want to be? what do I want in life? are the things I want really the things people tell me I should/do?

Representative songs: "NOT!" "Awaken"

I am WHO - if I'm not who everyone says I am, then who am I? (starts discovering self a bit)

Representative songs: "WHO?" "Question"

I am YOU - forming a good relationship (of any kind; could be significant other, friend, parent, whatever), or perhaps returning to one. it could be like a new relationship they're very happy with or it could be reaching an understanding with the people they rejected in I am NOT. part of their identity comes from this relationship. a large part of their identity, actually, probably, because like. it's. I am you. uh yeah

Representative songs: "YOU." "I am YOU" "Hero's Soup"

Clé 1: MIROH - whoah guys I'm pretty rad amirite

Representative songs: "MIROH" "Victory Song" "Boxer"

Clé 2: Yellow Wood - wait actually something is wrong? life is not as easy as I thought (kind of like that)

Representative songs: "Side Effects" "TMT" (not gonna count any of the mixtapes bc they're really more like singles that just happened to be released in this album)

Clé: LEVANTER - I defined myself too much by my relationship with this person (maybe the person from I am YOU) and lost sight of what I wanted for myself, so when they left me (possibly in Clé 2) I no longer knew what I to do. However, I now realize this and can take hold of my desires for myself.

Representative songs: "STOP" "Levanter" (most of the other songs carry similar 'I'm gonna do what I want now' sentiments, however, they do not include the same ideas about breaking free as "Levanter" and "STOP," while it also does not in words, the fact that it is pretty close to being the same song as "Road Not Taken" from Clé 2 but with mostly different lyrics indicates a connection to the unsureness of that album with a sense of moving on from it)

From the resolution of the Clé albums, most of their albums follow a trend of confidence, like that in Clé: MIROH except they haven't gone back to an uncertain theme afterward. Not every song is so confident, but there were confident songs in the beginning, so why shouldn't it be the other way around?. Case in point: "Grow Up," from I am NOT didn't start with confidence, but it ended with it, and there's also "YAYAYA" from the album from even before their debut. In TOP, which, yes, is now like 3 years old or something (I'm really behind on their newer albums so idk what most of the songs are but I am literally actively working on it right at this moment) and was for an anime, there's "SLUMP," which was written/composed/arranged by Han and Chan so it definitely fully counts, and it's fully super not confident. Nevertheless, the fact that I knew all the songs up through, like, THUNDEROUS, and still had a really hard time thinking of less confident stuff means there's definitely a trend of confidence since the resolution of the clé albums.

Hurt Prompts

Prompts For A Character Who Has Given Up/ Is In Their Darkest Hour

Potentially Triggering- brief talk of suicide, mild swearing, general hopelessness, implied past trauma, talks of death, PTSD, etc

1- "They call it the darkest hour, but I'm pretty sure it's been years at this point."

2- "Time heals all wounds? Bullshit. It's been years, and look at us- still just as traumatized as a decade ago."

3-"I hate you so, so fucking much."

"Me too."

5-"It'd be better if you were gone."

"I would love that."

6- "I hate- I hate existing."

7- "If I were gone, no one would miss me."

8- "Hurt me. Hurt me all you want. I guarantee you, the only people who would care would only be the ones mocking me."

9- "You think I don't hear how you go behind my back? You think you're my friend? Well, newsflash. I don't have friends."

10- "It hurts. It hurts so, so much. Getting out of bed, everyday, only for them to tell you you aren't enough. Taunt you about how ugly you are. Ridicule your every move. Eventually, you give up. Eventually, you move out of your bed, but your head sinks deeper into the covers."

11- "Describe how I feel in one word? Suicidal."

12- "Feel like stopping. I feel like stopping. Everything."

14- "You… you're leaving? But you're my- my last friend."

15- "The day he/she/they died, was the day I did, too."

(please tag me if you use, I'd love to see what u come up with, other rules pinned)

She won the war but lost what she had been fighting for.

Guys… I teared up, like, two times while drawing this. I still can’t believe I even thought about drawing it, let alone actually did it. Here’s to an ending we really hope doesn’t happen.  

RB if you think CD drives in computers are not obsolete, but in fact still necessary, despite being artificially phased out

The tags on my whiteness post said to me that white people (at least those that are racially aware) and colonized natives perhaps have more in common than most people think. Or at least more than they talk about it in public.

Not that they're the same. Misogyny and transphobia are not the same, but they are both veins of oppression in a patriarchy. Similar.

In the same way, that empty hollowness white ppl feel where your culture should be is not unlike what I feel as a native, from what I've read of your accounts. Learning your ancestors chose whiteness and safety and comfort over culture and identity. That now you have nothing because of the colonization and assimilation your grandparents experienced when they got to the USA. Because of whiteness. Because of the power it has even just as a concept in the US.

We experience these for much different reasons and at least your loss bought you privilege.

... but they aren't total opposites either. A hollowness where you know rich history used to be? Having culture but feeling a disconnect where you know More used to be? Feeling like you only have scraps of the culture your family used to have? Clinging to what you can get your hands on? Feeling like it's so detached that it's not really yours?

I get that and I bet I'm not the only one.

The USA's habit for white supremacy, racism, and colonization hurt all of us.

And it will benefit all of us to discard the systems those things built. They're still there and still hurting every one of us.

We can build a future that benefits us all instead as soon as we all start working on that together.

But we can't do that if some of us refuse to admit the system is what's hurting us. If we refuse to acknowledge that even with perfect politicians our Systems would still prevent progress because they are built on outdated and white supremacist ideals we'll just continue to suffer together under those systems instead.

We can't keep attacking each other just because some of us refuse to look at the ideologies fueling our current reality.

I miss my best friend. :(

can we please get more hispanic representation in movies?

That "aahh what a nightmare" cartoon.

"The Cat Piano" is a shot animation created in 2009 by Eddie White. It's one of those underrated disturbing masterpieces you need to watch at least once and you'll never forget it.

Mary, for the short time I've been here, you've been a wonderful person. I'm so glad I got to talk and interact with someone like you. I hope you do well wherever you end up. I will miss you, and I consider you one of the many people I admire on this website. Stay safe out there. <3

As for the anons, I can't say this in a nice way. They need to grow up and learn some goddamn respect. Someone like you doesn't deserve hate, especially to such a violent degree, and they're simply just nobodies hiding behind a screen because they're cowards. That's all they will ever be. Cowards. They can't stand seeing other people happy and decide to ruin it for us. It's no one's fault except theirs; especially if they can't figure out what the hell a block button is. But they wanted to take it further for no good reason. And if I get backlash for saying that, so be it. But it's the truth.

If, one day, you happen to return by random chance, we will welcome you with open arms. <+]

Hello.

It's me. Mary. And I have an announcement.

I am officially quitting tumblr :(

Why? Because I have been receiving death threats from anons. They have also been threatening to leak my IP if I don't delete all of my tickle-related posts. This is just affecting my mental health.

But don't worry. I'll always respond to you if you send messages to me.

And I understand if you are upset with me about this.

There will still be some posts on this blog, but they will not be tickle-related.

And now I will say my goodbyes to the friends I made along the way.

@switch-writer

@shroomies-world

@multifandom-brainrot

@moonsoaked-animations

@yarnprism

@thelemonjonja

@noodlycomet

Any many others.

They are all such amazing and kind people and I really don't want to leave this all behind. But I'm just tired of these anons constantly harrasing me.

Goodbye. I'll miss all of you very much.

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

I live off of fan fiction and coke (the drink ofc what do you take me for)