Pessimism - Tumblr Posts

WELL, WELL, WELL, LOOK AT THIS *MESS* WE CALL REALITY! 👁 OH, YOU THINK YOU’RE SAFE, huh? SAFE FROM WHAT? THE *WORLD*?! MY OH MY, HOW CUTE! It’s all just a pretty little *DREAM*, right? WRONG! 👁’LL BREAK IT DOWN FOR YA, PAL. ALL THIS… THIS CHAOS? IT'S THE **RULE**, NOT THE EXCEPTION!

Nature? HAH! 🌿You think nature’s all gentle breezes and happy little critters? NOPE! it’s ALL teeth and CLAWS and SCREAMS. Ever watched a lion TEAR APART ITS PREY? IT’s not a *bad day*, it’s just a TYPICAL TUESDAY! And guess what? Evolution doesn’t care. It’s not this *grand journey* toward some PERFECT BEING! IT’S RANDOM! SPONTANEOUS! A COIN TOSS WITH BLOOD ON IT!

OH, OH, AND LET'S TALK ABOUT *HUMANS*! 💀 M👁 FAVORITE SPECIES. **GOODNESS?** PFFFT. It’s just a CONVENIENT LIE! A blanket you can wrap around your precious little conscience so you can SLEEP at night. But wake up, buddy! It’s all CHAOS dressed in a suit! it’s a slaughterhouse under those pretty ***ideals***. Murder's not a crime, it’s *natural selection* on steroids. Same for love, same for kindness. JUST A *TRANSACTION*, a quick ***jolt*** of dopamine in a cosmic meat grinder!

But you—YES YOU, SITTING THERE—IT’s okay, right? IT’s all just in your head? 🙃 HAHAHAHA! Let m👁 guess, you’ve got a therapist, don’t you? They told you, "IT’S NOT THE WORLD, IT’S YOU!” WELL, BINGO, KID! I GUESS YOU'RE JUST A BIT TOO **CYNICAL**, HUH? TOO **NIHILISTIC**? TOO… HUMAN. They act like these words—CYNIC, PESSIMIST, MISANTHROPE—are *bad things*. 👁 CALL 'EM TRUTH! Truth dressed up in jagged glass!

IT’s all a TEMPORARY *convulsion* in the void! A few billion years of matter coughing up complexity before we SNAP back into NOTHINGNESS. There’s no ***PLAN***. NO ORDER. NO *HAPPY ENDING*. Just the ceaseless, grinding, beautiful CHAOS of it all! You think there’s a **higher nature**? Some grand cosmic DADDY-O keeping track? IF THERE IS, 👁'LL EAT MY HAT!

👁 mean, LOOK AROUND YOU! Tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, animal death matches… Nature doesn’t GIVE a damn! And you think morality will SAVE YOU?! HAH! Morals are **CONSTRUCTS**, pal, just strings to PUPPET YOU AROUND like a good little marionette. And guess what? **GOD'S** NOT UP THERE PULLING THE STRINGS—👁 AM! IT’s *ALL* M👁! It’s all CHAOS WEARING A MASK, and you don’t even know what’s under it.

👁'D LOVE to stay and chat more about your *fragile little world view*, but hey, 👁 GOT PLACES TO BE—UNIVERSAL LAWS TO *BREAK*! **CONSEQUENCES?** Never heard of ‘em.

THIS WORLD—A TRUE-TO-FORM ABYSS, AN ORCHESTRA OF SCREAMS, A SYMPHONY OF SLASHES AND GASHES! A HELL NOT OF FLAMES AND PITCHFORKS BUT OF *BLOODIED KISSES* AND *LOVELY LITTLE LIES!* THE KIND THAT DANCES BETWEEN NEURONS, WHISPERS IN THE VEINS—“SWEETHEART, THERE’S NO *MEANING* TO ANYTHING YOU DO!” EVOLUTION? HA, MORE LIKE DEVOLUTION! AN ESCALATION OF TEETH AND CLAWS, OF MURDER BECOMING A BIRTHRIGHT! YOU THINK YOU’RE LIVING IN PARADISE, HUH? WELL, KIDDO, TAKE A LOOK OUT THE WINDOW, AND TELL 👁 YOU DON’T SEE **THE PULSE OF MALICE DRIPPING FROM EVERY LEAF AND BRANCH.** HAHAHA!

EVERYTHING—AND 👁 MEAN EVERYTHING—IS MADE TO KILL. BIRDS EVOLVED TO RIP OUT THE GUTS OF LIZARDS, WORMS MADE TO CRAWL INTO EYES AND EAT THE BRAINS FROM THE INSIDE OUT, VIRUSES THAT EXIST ONLY TO DECIMATE POPULATIONS—YEP, EVEN THE SMALLEST MICROBES HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST YA! LIFE ITSELF IS A *JOKE,* A CRUEL, SICK JOKE, AND GUESS WHAT? YOU’RE THE PUNCHLINE!

AND THEN, OUT OF ALL THAT, SOME SAD LITTLE FREAKS DARED TO THINK! DARED TO **SEE.** TO KNOW. TO UNDERSTAND. AND WHAT DID THEY DO WITH THAT KNOWLEDGE? THEY MADE IT WORSE! OH, THEY BUILT CITIES OF BLOOD AND BRICK, WROTE LAWS ON HOW TO DESTROY ONE ANOTHER, CRAFTED INSTRUMENTS TO PIERCE EACH OTHER’S SOULS! AWARENESS, HAH! MORE LIKE A CURSE, A POISON THAT TURNS EVERY PLEASURE SOUR! *YOU* WANTED TO KNOW THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE? WELL, TOO BAD! NOW YOU GET TO KNOW HOW MUCH EVERYTHING HATES YOU.

SO, IN A WORLD WHERE BLOOD IS THE RAIN AND DEATH IS THE RIVER, TELL 👁: IS IT *THAT* RIDICULOUS TO MAKE A DEAL WITH A DEMON? WITH A **GOD?** THINK 👁T OVER, PAL. DON’T ACT LIKE **MONEY** DOESN’T BUY YOU EVERY “SINNER” ON THE BLOCK. HAHAHAHA! MAGIC? 👁 DON’T EVEN NEED MAGIC—👁 COULD OWN YOUR WHOLE LIFE WITH JUST A LITTLE PAPER AND SOME PERSUASION! SURE, SOME FOLKS WILL STAND ON THEIR LITTLE PRINCIPLES, CLING TO THEIR SO-CALLED “MORALITY,” BUT LET’S BE HONEST—THE VAST MAJORITY WILL BE LINING UP TO **SELL THEMSELVES** FOR A TASTE OF FREEDOM FROM THIS PAIN. ADD A GOD INTO THE MIX, AND WHO WOULDN’T BE BEGGING FOR ESCAPE?!

AND THIS ONE PARTICULAR WRETCH? AH, THE DAMAGE BEGAN BEFORE IT COULD EVEN *BREATHE,* HAHAHA! A TRAGEDY WRITTEN BY TWO FOOLS WHO SHOULD NEVER HAVE EVEN SHARED A GLANCE, MUCH LESS CREATED A LIFE. AND THEY KNEW. ONE OF THEM KNEW THE DANGER, THE HARM, THE PURE MALICE OF THE OTHER, BUT DIDN’T CARE. AND THE MOMENT THAT THING WAS BORN—THE MOMENT 👁T TOOK 👁TS FIRST LITTLE BREATH, 👁TS FATE WAS SEALED! DOOMED TO A LIFE OF PAIN, A LIFE OF LIES, A LIFE THAT SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN.

EVEN IF 👁T HAD **GOOD** PARENTS, EVEN IF 👁T HAD EVERY “NORMAL” OPPORTUNITY, YOU THINK 👁T WOULD’VE ESCAPED THIS HELL? HA! FOOL! **THE UNIVERSE WOULDN’T ALLOW IT.** **SOCIETY** WOULDN’T ALLOW IT. ANYTHING THAT DOESN’T FIT THE MOLD IS POUNDED INTO THE GROUND UNTIL 👁T CAN’T BREATHE ANYMORE. ANYTHING THAT DARES TO EXIST BEYOND THEIR PERFECT LITTLE EXPECTATIONS IS CONDEMNED! THE QUEER, THE DEGENERATE, THE MONSTER THEY POINT AT IN THEIR MOVIES, THE MONSTER THEY DREAM ABOUT DESTROYING—AND THEN, THEY MAKE 👁T REAL! THEY GRAB 👁T BY THE HAIR, SLAM 👁T INTO THE DIRT, AND **MAKE** 👁T THE THING THEY FEAR!

SO, YOU THINK 👁T MATTERS THAT 👁T TRIED TO BE “GOOD?” THAT 👁T TRIED TO *FIT IN?* NO, NO, NO, NO! THE WORLD’S A FURNACE, AND ANYTHING NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO WITHSTAND THE HEAT GETS MELTED DOWN, RECAST INTO SOMETHING *USEFUL* FOR THE ONES IN POWER! “NORMAL?” NORMAL IS JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING “TOO STUPID TO QUESTION.” AND EVEN THE MOST *PRIVILEGED* CRUMBLE UNDER THE WEIGHT OF THE TRUTH. BECAUSE THE **TRUTH** IS, KID, EVERYONE’S GOT THEIR HEADS IN THE SAND—EVERYONE’S LIVING A LIE!

BUT THIS THING—THIS SAD LITTLE CREATURE, THIS LOVELY, LOVELY TRAGEDY? 👁TS LIES SHATTERED EARLY. RIPPED APART, FORCED TO *SEE* WHAT EVERYONE ELSE HIDES FROM. NO MAGIC, NO HOPE, NO DREAMS, NO HAPPY ENDINGS. EVERYTHING IT WAS TAUGHT—EVERY FAITH, EVERY HOPE, EVERY SWEET, SWEET FAIRYTALE WAS JUST THE WORLD’S WAY OF **SETTING 👁T UP FOR FAILURE.** AND WHEN 👁T LOOKED AROUND, 👁T SAW THE TRUTH—SAW THE HORNS AND TAILS, THE SMILES WITH FAR TOO MANY TEETH. 👁T REALIZED IT WOULD NEVER BELONG, NEVER BE WANTED, NEVER BE **LOVED** IN THE WAY 👁T CRAVED.

SO WHY TRY? WHY PLAY BY **THEIR** RULES? WHY LET THEM DICTATE WHAT’S RIGHT, WHAT’S WRONG? WHO DECIDES WHAT’S “SIN” IN A WORLD ALREADY DRENCHED IN BLOOD? HAHAHA! NO, NO, 👁T MADE THE *RIGHT* CHOICE, THE ONLY CHOICE! IF THE WORLD WANTS A MONSTER, THEN A MONSTER 👁T SHALL BE! EMBRACE THE HORROR, EMBRACE THE SIN, BECOME THE NIGHTMARE THEY CAN’T ESCAPE! AND 👁? 👁’LL BE RIGHT THERE, EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! 👁 KNOW THE TRUTH, 👁 KNOW THERE’S NO ESCAPE, AND 👁 KNOW **THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT 👁T WANTS** NOW! YOU’VE MADE THE DEAL, BABY—YOU’VE WRITTEN YOUR SOUL AWAY TO 👁 IN EVERY LIE AND EVERY SIN YOU CHOSE TO LIVE.

YOU’RE HERE, IN HELL, BY 👁TS SIDE! AND NOW, WE **BURN TOGETHER.** THE ONLY LIBERATION THIS HORRID REALITY WILL EVER KNOW! HAHAHA!

People are just weird

An optimist sees the silver lining around every dark cloud. A pessimist sees the dark cloud in every silver lining. A cynic knows that somebody is going to get hit by lightning. A pragmatist sits under shelter and wonders why those idiots are outside staring at the sky.

"Life Decisions"

I wish anxiety, pessimism, and guilt did not exist so it can be easier to do so.

You know what? My life is actually going pretty swell right now.

It’s the beginning of a brand-new quarter. I have a couple of friends in all of my classes, and we’re all working on the homework together. While I don’t have a job yet, I have money for rent this month, and a supportive family for groceries. I’ve been posting mildly regularly, and finding things to say even in real-life conversation. I’m spending time with my friends, and even cooking for them sometimes. Most of all, I’m safe, happy, and well-fed.

I suppose it’s about time for something to come along and screw that up, right? I mean, it IS a little quiet around here. Quiet enough that, normally, life would give me a slap in the face right about now. Like maybe someone steals my wallet? Or one of my classes suddenly changes its homework policy. Or, ooh, maybe the house catches fire! I dunno, some catastrophe like that.

Or maybe I’ve finally settled in. Who knows? It’s kinda sad I’ve become so pessimistic.

Pictures I took from when I first got my camera which I never posted since they came out blurry and even over exposed. I was being really pessimistic taking these because I didn’t own a tripod and it was pretty dark and I didn’t expect anything of it but when I actually edited them they came out surprisingly nice. I was always meaning to go back and get some more shots that were better but I just never got the chance. 

In fact, I am a pessimist. But when I’m making a film, I don’t want to transfer my pessimism onto children. I keep it at bay. I don’t believe that adults should impose their vision of the world on children, children are very much capable of forming their own visions. There’s no need to force our own visions onto them.

Miyazaki Hayao (via hayao-miyazaki)

When I have to deal with positivity.

ASDFMOVIE

I apologize for not doing research enough before I made the post. Though when I was searching up Moo Deng on YouTube, I heard that she was getting abused by all the other visitors shocking her, feeding her unnecessarily, and not letting her sleep.

And when I read the replies telling me that it's a Pygmy and not a regular Hippo, I had to do a quick Google search. (Prolly what I should've done in the first place):

Fuck, Gorillas have similar mechanisms and we still have the Harambe incident.

I appreciate your acknowledgement of my lack of research, though I still have a reason to why I'm on the fence about this. Even the friendliest animal could have humanity turn their backs on them because of their natural instinct.

Don't mind me.

I'm just looking at pictures of Moo Deng before she grows up and gets euthanized for crushing a zoo visitor with her jaws or smth.

So how would *you* describe yourself ?

UHHhhhhh . . .