Ruined - Tumblr Posts

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A swift breeze to my house of cards

He took the new one on what should have been our trip.

I won't ever be interested in going to St. Lucia now.

Things I worry about while I should be working.

He has so many nudes of me. So much dirt. He could ruin what is left of my life.

I am about 98% sure this is currently happening.

One day I will find a good one. And then I will chase them away with my crazy.

I've been co-authored without my consent.

Two of the symptoms of ptsd and cptsd that have been the hardest to swallow are the lack of focus and the inability to "get into" or enjoy anything.

I was once an avid reader; I'd polish off a book a day if I could. Now it's a struggle to get through a chapter or two.

He has changed the very fabric of who I am.

verbal doms 🤝 subs who can’t talk when they’re being ruined so they just whine and whimper

representing my life 

kiss me. jay park 

word count: 1.7k

summary: jay can’t seem to form words after feeling your hips suddenly move against his. highly suggestive. reader discretion advised.

contents: switch!jay, switch!reader, studying, kissing, grinding, thigh riding, daddy kink, dirty talk

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I remember painting it a month ago that I had to skip my classes and meals just to finish it... then... I saw the worker outside the stockroom cutting it into pieces for reasons I don't know... well I believe it's no longer my loss. But the feelings... you know... 😢😭😢😭😢😭😢😭 #tbt #artwork #instaart #chinese #painting #sportsday #concept #creativity #ruined #instalike #instafollow #like4like #follow4follow #asianboy #man #boy #bear #chub #cub (at Bangkok, Thailand)

You know what? My life is actually going pretty swell right now.

It’s the beginning of a brand-new quarter. I have a couple of friends in all of my classes, and we’re all working on the homework together. While I don’t have a job yet, I have money for rent this month, and a supportive family for groceries. I’ve been posting mildly regularly, and finding things to say even in real-life conversation. I’m spending time with my friends, and even cooking for them sometimes. Most of all, I’m safe, happy, and well-fed.

I suppose it’s about time for something to come along and screw that up, right? I mean, it IS a little quiet around here. Quiet enough that, normally, life would give me a slap in the face right about now. Like maybe someone steals my wallet? Or one of my classes suddenly changes its homework policy. Or, ooh, maybe the house catches fire! I dunno, some catastrophe like that.

Or maybe I’ve finally settled in. Who knows? It’s kinda sad I’ve become so pessimistic.

You know, we finally got a more mature Ash in XY, then they decided to retcon that and make him childish is Sun and Moon again

“Mature” he jumped off a tower with no backup plan and into a volcano instead of recalling his pokemon XD

Shattered

I dream of him every night, my stomach turned translucent, neoformed hands and face pressed against flesh made of latex

I change his diaper for the first time, an IV lodged in his scalp, the nurses have run out of veins

I stick my finger in his mouth and he bites showing me his first cut tooth

I cradle him in my arms, his breathing labored, matching him lungful for lungful, trying with all my heart to breath for him and

There are first words and first steps and first comprehensions and anger and pride and joy and fear and we are a team, a package deal, until we are not

And I give the ultimatum, and he takes it, ruthlessly, emotionlessly, because any outcome is better than living under my roof, where did I go so very wrong?

I drop him in front of the church. He does not look back as he walks away.

I might have ruined it though because I think Old Sport might not trust me.

Everything is ruined!!

I have tried my hardest to avoid all spoilers but somehow I got them all!! Everything is spoiled when I was looking for surprises!