Reassuring - Tumblr Posts
Sexual grooming for children will end up confusing their perception and sense of what is right, because some parts of it are designed to make the child believe they feel good during it, and this will reinforce the guilt and sense of participation or “liking it”. Children do not like to be sexually abused, they do not enjoy being taking advantage of and having their sexually ripped apart by a person chasing their own satisfaction, but they cannot explain away the parts where physical touch felt good, where they didn’t feel like resisting or fighting back, where they even felt dependent on the abuse or did something to encourage it and hide it from others. Children experience arousal during sexual abuse and this too, will confuse them and will be used as a groomer to prove that the child “wanted it”. They will also want to believe that the groomer cared for them in some way, or did this out of “not knowing better” or without being aware the child would end up deeply traumatized.
The “good” feeling of sexual abuse comes just from the fact that the child requires physical touch, and young children cannot feel the difference between “good touch” and “sexual touch”, at most they might feel it’s a bit “weird” or “dirty” but if they get used to it, they wont be able to recognize it as abuse. The good feeling is only because they need touch, but that doesn’t mean they want to be sexually abused, they need a hug. If the abuser’s goal was to make the child good, they would never have any sexual intentions, they would never use the child as a resource of sexual pleasure and then try to convince the child it must have been a good thing. No child would consent to sexual abuse knowing it was going to traumatize them. The good feeling only makes it worse, makes the child feel complicit and unable to distinguish if they have the right to be traumatized and angry.
Arousal during sexual abuse, not only for children but for all victims, is not a sign of sexual desire, it’s body’s way of protecting itself. Human bodies go to extreme measures to protect from pain and injury, and sexual abuse is the worst, most harmful damage on human body. Arousal makes it more likely your injuries will be less critical, and that the level of physical pain will not be as high, whereas the lack of arousal would mean extreme pain and possibly critical injuries. Your instincts can already tell that the abuser doesn’t care if they damage you severely, so arousal is there to protect you, not as a sign of sexual excitement. Sexual desire never involves feeling of deep terror, weakness, vulnerability and submissiveness, sexual desire is only possible in a situation where you feel no fear of your partner whatsoever, can walk away at any point, and are able to do whatever you please, as opposed to being cornered and forced into a violating experience.
So it was not your fault. And none of your reactions was out of place. None of it meant that you wanted it, or participated in it. You had no way of consenting to it. And if you’re still sometimes experiencing some affection or craving for the abuser, this is extremely common and a side-effect of grooming. The groomer wanted you to feel this, they designed the entire relationship in order to manipulate you to feel it. But they couldn’t love you, they did not see you as a human being worthy of respect, care, agency, boundaries, freedom, or even just having your own sexuality. They lied to you, and if you don’t want to face this part yet, that’s okay, because it’s devastating and horrifying to realize something like that happened to you, and it’s okay to take as much time as you need before you consider it.
Imagine Your Favorite Character
Imagine dozing off in your favorite character’s arms and them carding their hand through your hair. They telling you sweet words and complements and when they think you’ve finally slept they then kissing your forehead with a smile.
Imagine Your OTP
Person A is feeling down lately and very insecure. To which Person B notices and asks…
Person B: “What’s wrong, Person A?”
Person A: “Nothing, I-I’m fine, don’t worry about it.”
Person B: (Gently takes Person A’s hands in theirs and softly says) “No, I’m sorry I can’t just leave you with what’s troubling you, could you please tell me?”
Person A: “I’m scared if I tell you, you’ll think less of me.”
Person B: “Person A, I could never think less of you. I care for you and not to mention though I may be a bit bias, but I think you are the most precious, charming and most wonderful person I could have ever met and nothing could change that!”
They hug them and Person A feels comfortable enough to open up, as Person B gently pets their head. After this even it helps both of them to talk to the other about whats troubling them and comfort them.
Imagine Your Favorite Character
Imagine one day when you’re feel down, your favorite character comes over to you and hugs you closely. They do so by giving you comforting words and reassurance. And once you feel even slightly better they kiss your temple, then tell you that they will always be here for you and that you can come to them whenever you need to.
Imagine Your Favorite Character
Imagine you aren’t feeling that great, your favorite character seeing this remembers your favorite pick me up thing and getting it ready for you. It can be baking you cookies/anyother treat, maybe making/getting you a warm drink or a food you rarely get let alone can make, bundling you up in the coziest blanket, maybe they make a cute pillow fort for you to get your bearings, reading to you a book you like or letting you read it allowed if you would prefer or a movie or show you love/loved and is able to put it on for you to watch together.
Regardless of what it is, your favorite character cares about you and hopes you know you are loved and hopes that you’ll feel better soon!
Imagine Your OTP
Person A: “Why do you look at me like that? (Tilts their head to the side confusedly) Have I done something worthy of praise?” They asked shyly.
Person B: (with an admiring look) “Oh my dear, you always do~”
They answer as they take Person A’s hands in their own.
Here you go. Some of my favorite photos I've downloaded from pinterest and I found quite calming 🤍.
Take a deep breath. Relax your tongue, shoulders, be conscious of your posture and fix it. Take care of yourself. Drink water. Eat healthy. Take your meds if you need. You got this. I'm proud of you. Mwah 💋.
FRIENDLY REMINDER ‼️
DRINK WATER.
Sometimes, don't you feel like eating but you have eaten recently and you want to keep eating? Drink water. If you feel satisfied after 10 minutes, then that's perfect. If you aren't satisfied, go eat!!!! But please, remember to drink WATER!!!
✨️💙🫂