Grooming - Tumblr Posts
The Damage of Grooming
knowing something was off about your past experiences but not wanting to end the illusion of “that was okay and this person wouldn’t hurt me”
missing memories of some periods of time, hazy memories, blocked memories
having heart-stopping realizations of “that was not normal”
being completely buried in guilt and shame over things that occurred
feeling utter lack of self value
feeling complete responsibility over everything that happened to you and hating yourself intensely for it
feeling weak, vulnerable and helpless to stop anyone gaining control over you again
feeling like you have no other purpose but to be used for someone else’s purposes
feeling like being used and exploited is the only way to be close to other people
feeling unwanted, unprotected and abandoned by the world
being forced into dealing with all other types of predators who target you because you can’t hide the signs of being groomed
inability to trust people, or otherwise, feeling that you’re not allowed to do anything but to trust people and lack of trust will be punished
mixed feeling of both betrayal and pain of being abandoned by the abuser, not being sure how to feel about them, sometimes still feeling affection and sympathy and sometimes rage
craving for the feeling of affection and importance the abuser might have provided you, while dreading if it’s worth feeling loved if they will end up exploiting and betraying you
blaming yourself for everything and wishing you had done something, anything different to avoid what happened
wishing none of it happened and trying so hard to forget it ever did
Damage of sexual grooming (and sexual abuse in children)
deep feeling of being dirty, ashamed of yourself, and not feeling safe in your own body
self hatred, hatred for your body, desire to change your appearance, in some cases even your sex so you wouldn’t be targeted like this again
feeling disconnected and detached from your body, missing memories of abuse
deep sense of guilt for enjoying some part of abuse when you didn’t even know it was abuse
terror of the enforced idea that you sought out the abuse, wanted or deserved it in some way
confused and mixed feelings about the abuser, desiring to keep trusting them and trying to understand why they did what they did, even if you feel underlying terror of them and feel horrible about most of the things they did to you
inability to form healthy sexuality, viewing sex as an act of power, coercion and violence, engaging in harmful sexual practices, fantasizing about being sexually abused
sexual self harm, feeling like you deserved to be hurt, engaging in dangerous and painful sexual practices, joining communities that promote violence and extreme submissiveness in sexual activities
feeling unexplainable attraction mostly towards people who are likely to hurt you, people with big age gap or authority figures, people who show same behaviour as the groomer
feeling like you have no sexuality and no desire to participate in any sexual activities
terror of being sexually abused again and always being scared that you’ll somehow provoke it or cause it to happen
feeling like it’s useless to try resist sexual abuse because it will only end up worse for you, and not having the ability to say no or fight back anymore
developing anxiety, depression, ptsd, having panic attacks and re-living the abuse over again
developing an eating disorder and struggling with suicidal thoughts
developing infections and sexually transmitted diseases due to abuse and feeling ashamed and scared to reach out for help, or that someone will realize what is happening to you
Sexual grooming for children will end up confusing their perception and sense of what is right, because some parts of it are designed to make the child believe they feel good during it, and this will reinforce the guilt and sense of participation or “liking it”. Children do not like to be sexually abused, they do not enjoy being taking advantage of and having their sexually ripped apart by a person chasing their own satisfaction, but they cannot explain away the parts where physical touch felt good, where they didn’t feel like resisting or fighting back, where they even felt dependent on the abuse or did something to encourage it and hide it from others. Children experience arousal during sexual abuse and this too, will confuse them and will be used as a groomer to prove that the child “wanted it”. They will also want to believe that the groomer cared for them in some way, or did this out of “not knowing better” or without being aware the child would end up deeply traumatized.
The “good” feeling of sexual abuse comes just from the fact that the child requires physical touch, and young children cannot feel the difference between “good touch” and “sexual touch”, at most they might feel it’s a bit “weird” or “dirty” but if they get used to it, they wont be able to recognize it as abuse. The good feeling is only because they need touch, but that doesn’t mean they want to be sexually abused, they need a hug. If the abuser’s goal was to make the child good, they would never have any sexual intentions, they would never use the child as a resource of sexual pleasure and then try to convince the child it must have been a good thing. No child would consent to sexual abuse knowing it was going to traumatize them. The good feeling only makes it worse, makes the child feel complicit and unable to distinguish if they have the right to be traumatized and angry.
Arousal during sexual abuse, not only for children but for all victims, is not a sign of sexual desire, it’s body’s way of protecting itself. Human bodies go to extreme measures to protect from pain and injury, and sexual abuse is the worst, most harmful damage on human body. Arousal makes it more likely your injuries will be less critical, and that the level of physical pain will not be as high, whereas the lack of arousal would mean extreme pain and possibly critical injuries. Your instincts can already tell that the abuser doesn’t care if they damage you severely, so arousal is there to protect you, not as a sign of sexual excitement. Sexual desire never involves feeling of deep terror, weakness, vulnerability and submissiveness, sexual desire is only possible in a situation where you feel no fear of your partner whatsoever, can walk away at any point, and are able to do whatever you please, as opposed to being cornered and forced into a violating experience.
So it was not your fault. And none of your reactions was out of place. None of it meant that you wanted it, or participated in it. You had no way of consenting to it. And if you’re still sometimes experiencing some affection or craving for the abuser, this is extremely common and a side-effect of grooming. The groomer wanted you to feel this, they designed the entire relationship in order to manipulate you to feel it. But they couldn’t love you, they did not see you as a human being worthy of respect, care, agency, boundaries, freedom, or even just having your own sexuality. They lied to you, and if you don’t want to face this part yet, that’s okay, because it’s devastating and horrifying to realize something like that happened to you, and it’s okay to take as much time as you need before you consider it.
:(
I’m sorry you were a victim of this.
TW// grooming, nsfw
i can't believe im making this post again but this is getting out of hand. @eechytooru is a groomer. and I'm making this post to warn the people in the welcome home fandom. I'm not that big into the fandom but i still want to spread awareness.
@eechytooru went by another name in the OSC - @/teenbeeny
back in 2020, i was 12 and new to the object show community but i saw bfb fanart by a person named @/teenbeeny (eechytooru). they where 16 but said they were turning 17 soon we talked in instagram dms but they would talk about object show p*rn and we would have nsfw rps but the worst part, they drew p*rn my sona (i was 12-13 at the time) and her sona (she was 16-17 at the time) together a couple of times. but in 2022, ive grown and i was 14, my friends helped me make a callout post on twitter and im thankful it worked. after a few months i didn't see her again but i soon started to hyperfixtate on tawog so i looked up fanart - and i found @/teenbeeny going by a fake name, eechytooru, trying not to get caught.
now, tawog fandom helped me to spread awareness and got her deactivate their tumblr account but that wasnt enough and now they're posting welcome home fanart and getting popular with a AU that they made - the EnA AU
again, im making this post to spread awareness. to this day she still hasnt given me a apology and claims that it was my fault and that i started all of this.
tweets that have proof:
(tw// nsfw mention) twitter callout post
tumblr account callout post
please reblog to spread awareness in the welcome home fandom!
Humiliation in parts - Part Three
TW - named body parts, reference to sexual act. Too much personal information. Not enough tagging. Or something.
On top of my smell, he got on my case about how hairless my vulva was. If he noticed there was a hair left he would draw attention to it and try to imply that I did not know what I was doing.
He hated razor bumps or ingrown hairs. He’d point them out. He would be grossed out. He would be turned off. He would stop whatever it was that we were doing so I could “go fix it.”
He’d regularly ‘inspect’ me before he would proceed with any sort of sex act . I don’t mean looking at me hungrily, lovingly or longingly, I mean basically giving me a pelvic exam. Sometimes I couldn’t even find whatever it was that he was complaining about; I think he was just trying to make me uncomfortable.
If there was any grooming out of place I’d never hear the end of it.
I know most of you don't reblog callouts and that's fine. You're under no obligations to reblog this. But if you could reblog and read this entire thread along with the doc it'd help me out a lot! Though be warned this thread has A FUCK TON of triggering content. If you don't wanna read it beacuse of that, that's perfectly okay too. Just reblogging this would help. This whole thread and doc talks about a genuinely dangerous groomer that used to be in the rpc, who made fake pedo accusations against someone else in the rpc, and is still being terrible to their victim. I promise wouldn't be asking this if it wasn't genuinely important!
Alden Bunag sent illicit pictures and video to another teacher on the mainland and admitted to sex with a 13-year-old student.
Why is Kyary Pamyu Pamyu problematic?
she's a giant, unabashed, almost proud pedophile (im not gonna link the tumblr post with proof in it bc the user who made the one thats the 'main' one is an aot fan who deleted the post i guess).
https://twitter.com/jpopprojectnews/status/1207537719536181248?lang=en
Ok so we get itafushi, we get miwamaru, etc. in this page. It seems to be telling of relationships.
And Ui Ui / Mei Mei...
Ui Ui's arm - it looks like he's trying to break away from someone. Higuruma? Is Ui Ui... Struggling w the complicated messy feelings that arise when you begin to accept that you've been abused, but it's so hard when you've been groomed for so long and you don't want to face that reality?
Mei is on the opposite side of the page. She and her brother could not be further apart. Her eyes are closed, and she's smiling the way she does when exploiting people for money. Maybe her subscription service ambition was given to Mei as a distraction - to focus on that instead of exploiting her brother.
Maybe we didn't need Geto to come back to life and kill her - I really overlooked Hiromi and his sense of justice, haven't I? Mei probably thinks that she can get out of any scandal, as long as she has money. She isn't facing anyone, and no one is looking at her. Shoko is looking up at nothing, pretending she isn't there.
It looks like Hiromi's also facing Gakuganji - he's keeping watch over jujutsu headquarters and the victims. I love him so much. Looking back now, Hiromi rly is the next generation Geto - protecting the innocent without discriminating. Oh, you're in a position of power to exploit the weak? He'll kill you anyway. Good luck.
Also shokohime seems like.... There? Shoko's looking off in the distance like she's happy, waiting and giving privacy. She's facing Utahime, whose arm is reached out toward Shoko and to her student that she has to worry about first.
Idk what's up with Ino, or if Inumaki is looking at the reader.
And who are the two people in the back, that you can't rly see? Thought one was Todo but he's already on there. (edit: my friend says one is Hajime Kashimo, & they're right. I guess the other is Haibara, or maybe the sugar CT guy... Oh god is the jacket most like Junpei's?) Though it could just mean there are more strong and intelligent allies than we know.
Here's my reaction to the end of the manga btw (forgot this page was part of 271 smh)
My experience with @MarkraftProduct AKA @ChloeLewdz/AbiLewds AKA MarkraftProductions
This was already uploaded on twitter May 27th 2022, but since twitter is going to shit rn, I’m not sure if the original post could get destroyed so I’m reuploading it here so it’ll still be accessible if ever twitter disappears. This whole thing is very important to me, and I want everyone to know forever how bad of a person Mark Andrew is.
TLDR is at the bottom of the document that explains everything
Trigger warnings listed in the tags!
-------------------------------------------------
Original post :
https://twitter.com/BlubberBummer/status/1530390413290381312
Google drive with evidence :
https://drive.google.com/drive/u/1/folders/1RUhDURX73TbmGl1cgT1VFAAvltTzeIWO
Document explaining everything :
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_R4MX_bNde7Z_RsNSKJHQfcFB2nHkppMoSS_TeWYffg/edit
I have a very sweet group of 13-14ish year old girls following me so I just wanted to say a few words about safety and grooming really quickly because I’ve been (hopefully needlessly) stressed about this and it’s sometimes more subtle than like. Asking for nudes
• Adults you meet online should not be talking to you about sex. Full stop. This includes smut, their sex life, your sex life, and “educating” you about sex. If an adult is talking to you about sex in ANY context, BLOCK THEM. Once again, THIS INCLUDES FANDOM SHIT. That is still inappropriate.
If you’re curious about sex, which is Totally normal, you can ask a trusted adult or mentor figure you know IN REAL LIFE, and if you don’t have one, there are lots of very straightforward and strictly educational resources at Planned Parenthood’s website and
• As much as I value younger girls as people (this is not a dig at y’all ❤️), it is weird to be an adult and be CLOSE friends with a young teenager. Even if you don’t perceive your interactions as inappropriate, it’s weird.
This is not because you’re not interesting or fun, but because adults really have nothing in common emotionally with eighth graders, and ALL of us know that. Every single one of us. An adult has nothing to gain from confiding in a person in a middle school. If a grown man or woman is telling you their deepest, darkest secrets, messaging you about their problems on a regular basis, or asking you to confide in them, that is a red flag. Block them.
• If an adult is complimenting you on your appearance in any way that you would not compliment an 8-year-old, BLOCK THEM. It’s completely not appropriate for an adult to tell you that you look hot, your makeup is sexy, etc. That’s fucking weird.
• If they talk about how mature you are for your age, BLOCK THEM. You might very well be mature for your age, but you’re not mature enough to change the fact that you’re in a completely different life stage than a grown adult.
(This applies to the 12-14 crowd—not telling you to block your 18 y/o friends if you’re 16 haha)
I don’t approve of wrecking homes but for this situation it’s warranted. (She groomed him)
also just aaron taylor johnson with silver hair in aou *chef’s kiss* but on the real, please someone be the homewrecker to atj’s marriage. this man would go so far if he wasn’t married to her ngl.
I don’t approve of wrecking homes but for this situation it’s warranted. (She groomed him)
also just aaron taylor johnson with silver hair in aou *chef’s kiss* but on the real, please someone be the homewrecker to atj’s marriage. this man would go so far if he wasn’t married to her ngl.
Tw: Mentions of COCSA, Sexual harassment, groomers, and similar things
Cw: vent/rant
It's strange how things that you felt just a little weird about when it happened turn out to be more serious than you thought once you get older. I'm not nearly as scarred as some of the people who went through similar things, but it's weird... I always thought I was one of the few exceptions.
Majority of afabs have been through sexual harassment and/or assault at some point. not me though.. not until I actually thought about it from a sensible point of view.
I wasn't aware that my classmates mocking me the way that did could be sexual harassment, despite how explicit it was.
I didn't understand that the "game" I had been peer pressured into playing as a 6-8 year old could be considered assault. We were both kids and my clothes were never breached but that doesn't make it any less disgusting or distressing. He's in prison now for other things. He has to serve multiple sentences in various prisons, all for unrelated things, but his odd behavior didn't stop at me. It didn't stop when we were kids. He tried to hook up with a 13 year old. The three of us are cousins. The two of us were 18-19. I almost had an incident before him, but I wasn't at the age that I would be afraid of losing a friend, so I told on the kid before it happened.
I had multiple run-ins with groomers online, and the only things stopping me from getting sucked further in were a deep hatred of my body, fear of being a registered sex offender if I ever sent them pictures, and a general fear of the pictures being leaked or my parents finding out and beating my ass. Once they figured out I wouldn't give them what they wanted, they usually left.
Even before I understood pedophilia, my parents allegedly noticed various times when random men on the street would approach me or look at me with a hunger in their eyes or just generally act suspicious near me.
And even outside of harassment and assault, there was still sex in my life far before it needed to be. My parents shouldn't have left their porn in the DVD player when they sent us to watch a movie in their room. They shouldn't have put the porn right next to the normal DVDs. Their 2-3 year old shouldn't have been able to terrorize his older siblings by playing porn when we were supposed to be watching a silly little fish movie.
I hate how normalized some of these things are. We need better education about these subjects. No one likes having suppressed memories and trauma. No one likes having these things happen to them. No one likes not being able to articulate their feelings to speak out about it. No one likes finally being hit with the fact that they probably have some sexual trauma at 2 am in their 20s. It shouldn't be hard to go through life without some fucking freak tainting my brain.
TW: pedophile, hebephile, Ephebophiles, the labels are helpful to learn.
On the topic of pedophilia.
As a young adult who grew up with YouTube and Tumblrs favorite rock bands, a lot of entertainers of my day are facing child exploitation accusations or have even been charged with their cimes: Cryaotic, Boyinaband, Shane Dawson, Pierce the Viel, All Time Low, Blood On The Dancefloor...
And I'm tired of every article or post that I read talking about the next 30 year old "pedophile" coming from the God awful world of entertainment.
I would like to get it out there that these crimes are not against pre-pubescent children. That is not to diminish the accusation or even defend it. Child predators should be prosecuted. Everyone is so quick to slap the label of pedophile onto any individual preying on minors. It's because it's the heinous, hotbutton word to scare and enrage parents.
There are three kinds of child predators: pedophiles, hebephile, and ephebophiles.
Pedophiles target pre-pubescent children. That's a age range of 0-10.
Hebephiles target pubescent children. That's a age range of 11-14.
Ephebophiles target pubescent children. That's a age range of 15-19.
And I know so many people out there do not care about the distinction. A child as it is defined under your law is a child. "Who gives a flying fuck if this creep seduced a 14 year old or a 17 year old? It's all a slippery slope."
Well, by misidentifiying the targets of these crimes you're spreading fake information. You make it harder for people to actually protect minors.
And this goes beyond entertainers with a shred of stardom. You know that child predator website that tells you where all the predators in your community live?
Can you understand how much of a difference it makes to know your 3 year old child isn't going to be the target of the ephebophile four blocks away? Parents generally feel more secure after talking to child predators about the crimes, the nature of them and how long ago it occurred.
Maybe I'm desensitized to the whole thing since I was a target of a hebephiles and sexted as a teenager, but I truly believe that these distinctions make a difference.
If you're not Religious but still gush about wanting a "pure innocent virgin girl", you just want a child without having to face the law.
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TW: Grooming, mentions of NSFW content, mentions of s/h & sV!c!de
The tags are the fandoms he’s most active in so please be cautious, everyone
Okay, I was initially planning on waiting until I had taken screenshots of my own to talk about this, but I then realized I can make a separate post, this is serious and has gone on long enough so it’s time I mentioned it. However, before I do, this is not some big creator, I realize that, but they are a /very/ active user and though I only have screenshots from one victim and soon my own screenshots, there are at least five, possibly six, more that I know of, but I am no longer in contact with most of those people and I don’t want to go asking people to unblock someone like this. If they want to come out about this, that’s their choice, not mine. And, yes, you read that right. Five others.
This post is about @Mauroisthattired on Pinterest or @joshuakidd on here.
Because I know you’ll see this, hi, Josh, don’t even think about sending people my age and younger to beg me to take this down and forgive you again, you did these things, you are aware you did these things, now here are the consequences. And because I know you will, don’t you DARE hang your life over my or my friend’s head for this either, you have done that 100 times already and I do not have the energy to deal with it anymore. I may not have a big platform, but if you have publicly interacted with this person or know someone who has, please listen.
First, Joshua is not almost eighteen, he turned eighteen in March. I never wanted to mention my age on here, but it’s not like I’m posting p0/n so idc anymore, I kind of have to:
In late September, after I had newly turned fourteen, is when Josh reached out to me on my rp account on Pinterest, I hadn’t been active on there in awhile but I thought “what the heck, I need someone to talk to” so I agreed to role play with them. Josh was 17 at the time. Obviously, it was idiotic to have a rp account in the first place, but I’m aware of all the things I’ve done wrong so I won’t be focusing on that, that’s not why you’re reading this. I had admitted to him that I wasn’t online a lot so I sent him my main account, and god do I regret it.
It only took a few weeks for Josh to start overstepped boundaries, I had acknowledged that s/h is deeply upsetting to me so we wouldn’t get it involved in role plays, but he did. Not only that, but he would vent a lot and that would always end with me having to convince him not to harm himself. I will say, he was unaware of my age when this first started happening, but that isn’t that important because he didn’t give a shit. Very quickly it turned into I couldn’t not reply for a certain amount of time or else I would get berated by Josh or he would threaten to hurt himself. He’d always claim it was because I left him on seen even if I hadn’t been there to open the message in question at all. Whenever someone blocked him, he’d send their account to me in a “you know what to do” fashion, I never asked people to unblock him, but sometimes I’d block or unfollow them because I was afraid he’d check and go ballistic if I hadn’t.
At a certain point, he started begging me to add him to a group chat with my friends, always because he “needed more friends,” I never did because it didn’t work, but that didn’t stop him from reaching out. He’d spammed one of my friend’s comment sections asking them to chat with him until they gave in. Once they had he’d vent to them nonstop, send them NSFW art (never his), and once pressured him to send him pictures of his face despite his wishes. This friend is younger than me and was 13 at the time.
After he had ‘befriended’ my close friend, Jay, is when he got brave enough to start sending me NSFW, he would send me it to make fun of or just mid conversation without saying anything else. He never did straight up smut role plays, but he’d convince me to do suggestive ones where the s*x scene was always skipped (but still held the before all the way up until getting fully undressed and the direct after, not even the next morning), because he “refused to do suggestive role plays with anyone under eighteen” I never questioned it. At one point Josh threatened to end our friendship when I was disturbed that he was going to have a character attempt so it scared me out of asking not to do a certain scene, but ofc, he could tell me to stop because something was upsetting him whenever he wanted
Eventually there was the incident, my friend and I were taking a break from Josh and he didn’t respect it so I blocked Josh for the first time, while Jay was too scared to. Josh went mental. He screamed at my friend until I unblocked him to defuse things and had to explain to him what he was doing wrong, at the time the NSFW being weird hadn’t crossed my mind so I didn’t bring it up. He apologized, I tried to get him to understand, understand what he’d done wrong but the apology of “it’ll never happen again” was all I got either way. Around this time is when I had admitted my age, a few weeks or a month prior I had meltdown about how I was too young for this while Josh was venting to me, of course, that meant nothing to him.
[These screenshots do not belong to me, they belong to my best friend, Jay, like I stated. There are more examples, months upon months upon months of examples, but he didn’t want to relive any more than this and I do not blame him for that. He doesn’t go by either of these names anymore] Jay mentioned that he had gotten uneasy during their conversation about MLP, that’s why it was added
These screenshots are from /after/ everything had gone down. Eventually, my friend had enough, especially after being so shaken by the situation, so a few weeks after Josh’s 18th birthday he blocked him. I successfully comforted Josh after that and things went back to the “normal” of before. However, whenever Joshua wanted to vent he would try to manipulate me into letting him by saying things along the lines of “oh, but someone my age shouldn’t be venting to fourteen year olds” and he’d manipulate the situation so instead of him sending me NSFW out of nowhere I’d be asking him to because he “found something.”
I think Jay’s words of “he talked to me like I was a fucking dog” sum everything up. He did more bullshit, but this is long enough and I still need to make a post with my own screenshots.
If you took the time to read this, thank you, I just want people to know how abusive this person is towards everyone, including people his age.
When I finally blocked him for good it was because I realized he shouldn’t have been sending me literal NSFW, it took he about a week after with the Colleen Ballinger situation to realize what he was actually doing so I’ve been planning to make this post for awhile and realized that I’ll never truly be ready so I need to just do it.
Once again, hi, Josh, you took 50 years off my life. Congrats.
I realized early on how abusive things were, but I thought that being someone’s therapist was all I’m good for so I never brought it up. Funny. Expect a lot of vent art in the future along with screenshots of what he’d said to me, I lost an entire school year to this fucker and this post was just me recalling the basic outline of what happened
