Pumpkin Carving Has A Special Place In My Recovery Process. And A Little MMFR Is Good For The Soul.

Pumpkin carving has a special place in my recovery process. And a little MMFR is good for the soul.

Happy Halloween, friends!

Tw - fat shaming

When he thought, at one point, i had put on too much weight he told me he would not stick with a woman who let herself go.

According to him, men don't like bigger women. In fact all men really like the same body type - very thin. Any man who says otherwise is just saying so for woke points.

Men who date bigger girls do so because they lack the confidence to pursue "better" women.

He didn't lack confidence, so I had to nip that issue in the bud. Or accept the consequences.

Fuck it. Spoiler below for a A Star is Born:

Tw - suicide and suicide baiting.

Streak Over

I was just thinking to myself the other day how it has been at least a month since I have cried properly. Yesterday I went to a movie and it triggered something fierce.

I wish I’d done what I normally do and read the plot ahead of time to be prepared.

I’m actually torn between sending a warning about it and spoiling the movie. .

When my phone rings, i get tense. If it's a number I don't recognize, I panic.

Another one of those things people think I should just be 'over.'

My phone is not working well. It's gone completely unuseable a few times today. I am annoyed and inconvenienced.

If I were with him, his inability to get ahold of me would render me panicked and concerned for my safety. He did not like when I did not answer my phone.

Puts things in... perspective.

He used to put his hands around my waist and tell me “you’re so small!”

My broken brain was thrilled by this ‘compliment.’  In hindsight, it was a threat:  “I could break you so easily.”