Depression Is Hitting Pretty Hard. The Last Few Job Prospects Were Not What I Thought They Were.

Depression is hitting pretty hard. The last few job prospects were not what i thought they were.

My last paycheck will be November 15 and i have nothing to replace it.

My woman has already insisted she buy me snow tires, because I advised that I won't have the money to buy them at this time. This makes me ashamed. Especially since she has been stretched thin lately herself.

And a quick flashback to a conversation with my Father yesterday who helpfully reminded me that i "shouldn't be depending on anybody." Thanks, Pops, for the pep talk.

And i still have to go to this place for another 8 shifts. Once again, I'd like to ask why I have to be in this discouraging position while my shithead, incompetent, mysogenist boss suffers with none of it.

It's done.

Now to deal with the guilt of leaving my staff and possibly of having to bum gas money off my wonderfully supportive and uplifting woman.

He would tell me I'm trash. And no matter how many times she reassures me of the opposite, it's his words that seem to stick.

I'm resigning from my job tomorrow. As of right now i will be without work at the end of the month ( if he doesn't fire me first).

I made these and I'm quite pleased with how they turned out. I'm always a little surprised when I can do things, since he said I can't do anything right.

Turns out, he's wrong.

Here is to another year of pumpkin carving and another year of healing. Happy Halloween friends.

Green eyes?

A friend of mine has a baby. And i really want to feel connected to him.

But I don't.

It could be distance; they live halfway across the country and I know him primarily through pictures. He and I have met, and he is very cute and funny.

But I'm a little worried that I've put up an invisible wall that will prevent me from having a meaningful relationship.

I was the first of my close friends to get pregnant. They all had their children. I didn't have mine, and I worried that I'm jealous.

There is no regret in my decision; it was undoubtedly the right one. But many times I wish things had been different.

It could also just be a trauma response, and that would be completely reasonable.

But I can't help feeling guilty when my other friends gush over pictures and videos of him and I've already lost interest.

I feel like a monster.

I'm sick right now.

She made me coffee this morning and dinner this evening. She just put the kettle on to make me a neocitran and sent me to bed.

This is the twilight zone.

Self doubt, my old friend.

victims of abuse be like, this person has now made me cry myself to sleep about 30 times, i have flashbacks of things they’ve done and said to me, they know how to hit me right in my worst insecurity and guilt so i feel horrible for days and months, their comments make me feel worthless and like i shouldn’t even be alive, and being around them makes me feel small and meaningless and sometimes suicidal but maybe that’s just me, maybe they’re not abusive? i have to give them benefit of the doubt, what if i’m not justified to kick them out of my life?