Abuse and trauma survivor - these are my stories in no particular order. Content warnings and triggers everywhere. Adult blog; 18+ only.
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He's Getting Married To Someone I Am About 3 Or 4 Degrees Of Separation From (depending On Your Definition).
He's getting married to someone I am about 3 or 4 degrees of separation from (depending on your definition).
It's not a full spiral, but there's definitely some things I need to talk to my therapist about. Some emotions that ranged from mild and controlled to shameful.
But generally, I think I'm doing ok. I'm currently eating my feelings at nearly 3am, but I've had worse nights.
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More Posts from Enoughdonegone
I see a lot of posts that say something like "It wasn't wasted time if you were enjoying yourself."
What if time passes and I don't know if I was enjoying myself? What did I just do for the last 90 minutes?
He's been on my mind a lot.
I guess it's not surprising; mentally I've been in a hole lately. And my brain likes to keep me there.
Still, it's frustrating to feel like I'm regressing.
I bought a car.
It's used, but it is still so so much money.
Spending money is still really hard for me because he made everything terrible. So, while other people would be excited, I'm going to go lay down in the shower for the night.
See y'all in a few weeks.
Approximately 24 hours out from discovery and I can talk about it a little. There were two things I felt in particular that I was ashamed of:
Jealousy - this lasted for no more than 5 seconds, but it was still the first one I felt. Can you really hate someone if you're jealous of the person they're with, however fleeting that emotion is?
Doubt in my own experience - it hits so subtly, but like a freight train at the same time. If she likes him and wants to marry him, he can't be that bad, right? Was everything I felt and experienced real? Or was it al in my head? Did I invent it all to justify being a bad person?
It's been seven years, and I still don't trust my own brain.
He's getting married to someone I am about 3 or 4 degrees of separation from (depending on your definition).
It's not a full spiral, but there's definitely some things I need to talk to my therapist about. Some emotions that ranged from mild and controlled to shameful.
But generally, I think I'm doing ok. I'm currently eating my feelings at nearly 3am, but I've had worse nights.