Peter: Guess What Im Doing Tomorrow

peter: guess what i’m doing tomorrow

may: getting out of bed and becoming a productive member of society?

peter: *snorts* good one

peter, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! i was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

morgan, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids

tony: what the hell are you guys doing

peter: playing systematic oppression

pepper: are you alright? you didn’t sleep at all last night

tony: i got a solid eight minutes. not consecutively, but still. it's fine. you're not even that blurry

sylvie: so you two are dating now?

loki and mobius: yes

sylvie: why?

loki: well, i happen to find mobius very appealing

sylvie: no, i understand that. i’m just trying to figure out what’s wrong with mobius

tony: i’ve learned some very valuable lessons from this

rhodey: i’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away

tony: death isn’t real and i’m basically god

peter: hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

mj: a glass of water is an inanimate object. therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language

peter:

peter: water you doing?