Peter: Guess What Im Doing Tomorrow

peter: guess what i’m doing tomorrow

may: getting out of bed and becoming a productive member of society?

peter: *snorts* good one

pepper: are you alright? you didn’t sleep at all last night

tony: i got a solid eight minutes. not consecutively, but still. it's fine. you're not even that blurry

peter: i want to preface this by saying that nothing happened. nothing is actually on fire. this is simply for future reference

tony:

peter: do we have a fire extinguisher?

peter: hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

mj: a glass of water is an inanimate object. therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language

peter:

peter: water you doing?

peter: i hate how you’re just born out of nowhere, and you’re forced to go to school and get an education so you can get a job. what if i wanted to be a duck? nobody asked me if i wanted to be a duck

tony:

tony: do you want to be a duck?

peter, tearing up: yeah

loki: if i can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, i think my body will shut down