Again, Today Is One Of Those Days When I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore....

Again, today is one of those days when I don't know who I am anymore....

Like....am I human ?

Am I really alive ?

If so then who I am ?

Male ? Female ? A kid ? An adult ?

Am I only one in the body or are there more of 'us' ?

Who is there ?

Can we be happy ?

Shall we die ?

I don't know anymore.....

I can’t remember how many times I said I was fine just because I don’t wanna bother someone with my issues.

While I was working in the stable I was wearing T-Shirts and my scars were visible.

And one day one girl asked "what happened to your arms ?"

I shot a glance at my scars, shook my head and said "Nah, that's nothing."

Then she added "You got scratched pretty bad."

"Yeah." I answered and that's were our conversation about my scars finished

Someone just told me that I made her feel safe and that she was ready to tell me her every trauma and she wanted me to adopt her....

Simple words but they hold so much meaning....at least for me

Me after 9 shots (I'm not used to any drinking over 2 shots), sliding on the bed and being like "ooppss!"

Really I was saying "ops" whenever I slid on the sheets

I really hate it when my "mum" keeps looking at my scars and says "I can't look at them."

Then stop geezz..... it's not that hard

And her nagging about "what will you tell the doctor if he/she asks ?" (I am preparing for a driving licence course and I have to meet the doctor first) What can I tell her ? The truth what else ?

I hate that my "dad" wants me to get rid of the scars no matter what... He says that I should use collagen to get rid of them....I don't want to....

Them being scared of other people and their thoughts....