I Dont Know Anymore - Tumblr Posts
natasha: i just thought he needed to listen to common sense and reasonable discourse
steve: please tell me those arent the names of your fists
natasha: theyre actually my feet
natasha: i'm more of a kicker
steve:
@mynqzo I don't know if you've seen this yet, but I thought you might appreciate it
MODERN WEEKLY STYLE CHINA Photographer: Hailun Ma; Stylist: Macci Leung; Makeup: Yooyo Keong Ming; Hair: Zhou Xue Ming; Art Director: Doris He; Models: Wai Wai, Annie, Una, Juan, Hei Wa, Bonnie, Ginny
Masterlist
Updated 17/03/2021
Here are the majority of people I write for, at the moment I am in my studies so expect things to move slow, but when inspiration hit. I am going to go hard. My inbox is CLOSED for now. Enjoy my loves
JUST POSTED - Sanctuary 05/10/21
Currently working on -
[Siren’s Lullaby]
[Massimo x reader]
- 619x
Steve Rogers
The Boys
MARVEL
Witcher
That moment you realize that you, like a certain self-sacrificing bastard, have the emotional capability of wet paper.
This is the day when you ascend to heaven because a certain boy is b-boying and he's firing that stage
I just watched a trans tiktok compilation and I'm not even sure I'm trans anymore???
Because while I am a guy and prefer masculine terms like boy and handsome and hate looking even remotely feminine
I use any pronouns and don't get dysphoric about it?? And can't get misgendered? And also use both my birth name and chosen name?
So like
Am I really trans?????
I can't relate to like any of these experiences and it's making me question myself
"Blitzø... I think so very highly of you..."
"I didn't realize you think so low of me..."
I don’t know anymore..... I feel like I am using depression as an excuse.... I do nothing, I don’t work, I don’t study....and I say “because I have depression. I can’t focus, I don’t have motivation...” What if this is just a lie ? What if I am just lazy ? I really don’t know....
Again, today is one of those days when I don't know who I am anymore....
Like....am I human ?
Am I really alive ?
If so then who I am ?
Male ? Female ? A kid ? An adult ?
Am I only one in the body or are there more of 'us' ?
Who is there ?
Can we be happy ?
Shall we die ?
I don't know anymore.....
I can't sleep after this conversation with my friend....I don't know if I should sleep
What if she does something while I'll be sleeping ?
I don't know
I'll start school tomorrow, new school because it's university but I don't want to....
I feel bad and I know school will make it worse
I am scared that I screw school
That I fail classes
That I be the worse
I don't want to go
My "dad" is mad at everything and everyone so he played his whole anger on me....ofc it made me feel bad, guilty....I don't know why but I got used to that already
My "mum" is probably thinking about divorce (she said that they have to talk seriously without me)
I don't know if it's good or bad...
I don't know anything now
'Tis another Stray Kids Story.
It's sad at the start but soon gets cheery
The MC is named Lang Sinjoon and has a sister named Lang Minjoon.
Sinjoon is in the middle like he's younger than chan but older than I.N. so he's 21 like Hyunjin and Changbin.
During the intermission where we took a moment to say some things and just talk to the Stays, out of the corner of my eye I see someone waving, I look over and see my little sister. I wonder what she's doing here? I wave back to her and smile, Chan soon saying to enjoy the rest of the show.
`````
The first thing I see walking off stage is my sister. She runs up to me and hugs me. I laugh, she's a big fan and not just because I'm in the group. "Hey, Lai, what are you doing here?" "I had to get my mind off something." She says...rather sadly. "Lai, what's wrong?" "Um, nothing, Joonie Oppa, I'm kinda over it now anyway. I think I'm gonna go say hi to Felix." I'm skeptical of her sadness but laugh when she mentions Felix because they recently became friends.
Soon our manager came up to me and handed me a phone, my phone, and my mom was calling. "It's been ringing for a while now, I told her the first time to call you back in a moment." I nod and take the phone and answered it.
"Hello, mama?" I greet her in Japanese since half of the family is from there and is more comfortable with that language. "Sinjoon, How was your concert?" "It was good, mom. Are you okay? It sounds like you've been crying." I hear her take a deep breath and another sob comes out. "Mom? Why are you crying? What happened?" I start to freak out and I look over to see the boys looking at me along with Lai who looks guilty and hiding behind Felix. "Your Yang Hyung passed away, Joonie. We don't know how yet but we will soon. I know you just had a fun time and I'm sorry to ruin it. I have to go comfort your father. I'm so sorry, Lang." The line beeps when she hangs up and I'm still staring at the wall in front of me. I take the phone away from my ear.
Yang was one of my top supporters when I said I wanted to be a singer and performer. When he heard I was in stray kids he had mom and dad send me snacks and stuff for me to share from Canada as a congratulations gift along with his favorite bracelet. It was finally all processed and I was brought back to reality by I.N. "Lang Hyung?" I inhale and let out a choked sob as my knees buckle and I fall to the ground. "Lang..." I hear someone call out concerned but I'm too lost in my thoughts.
I bring my hand up to muffle my crying with the back of it and my left hand is gripped onto someone's shirt. I move to wrap my free arm around the person's neck and feel something soft. It has to be Lai because for this concert we all wore leather jackets. I grip onto her sweater and she hugs me tighter. There's too much going on in my head, I can't stop crying, I can't breathe...
I let go of Lai and stand, I quickly make my way to the dressing room we got ready in, luckily it was empty. I shut the door and let out a sob. I keep repeating the same thing 'He can't be gone...' 'Yannie still here...' 'This isn't real...' as I pace.
I was crying and muttering I didn't hear anyone coming in before I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turn to see Chan Hyung. The look on his face, Concerned and caring, Lai must've told. "Chan..." He shook his head and brought me into a hug and I finally let out my cries. "He-He's gone Channie." I cry out. He doesn't say anything, probably not knowing what to say but just letting me get it out.
"I was going to say, it's going to be okay, but that's of course not helpful." I chuckle through my cries. "In my opinion, that's all someone can say in this situation." "Did Lai tell you?" "No, the manager did. Lai tried to but she felt bad for not telling you when she saw you. They're trying to calm her down."
I nod on his shoulder, my crying had almost come to an end but I didn't want to let go of him yet. I loosen my grip around his neck and sigh. "Thank you, Hyung." He hums. "For what?" "Being so..." I pulled away from him and looked at him. He reached up and wiped my face with his shirt sleeve under his jacket, I chuckle. "For being you and so caring and just...ugh! You!" Chan laughs at my explanation "I think I get it. Thank you." "You remind me so much of Yannie and that's how I got through my homesickness." "Is that why you only come to me when you're having a bad day?" I nod and hug him. "Wow, Now I feel even more like a big brother." I laugh and pull away. "I wanna go see the others." "Are you sure?" "Or they can come to me, either one."
Chan walks out with me and we see the others waiting outside the room. "Joonie Hyung, are you okay?" I.N. asked first and came up to me. "Yeah, I'm okay." "Joon, I'm sorry for not telling you why I was here. You were having so much fun with your friends and I didn't want to ruin it." I hug her so she stops crying. "It's okay, Lai." He relaxes and hugs me back. "Now, what are you doing in Korea?" I ask as I pull away. "I came to see you in concert. You were so good, Joon Oppa." "Okay, I know you're taking Korean classes but calm down with the honorifics." Lai shyly laughs and I tickle her side. "Mom and Dad flew me out here so I could come to see you and the guys. She said to just contact her when I want to come home." "Where are you staying?" "A hotel not that far from here."
Han spoke before me. "That's not right, you should stay with your Oppa." "Wait, but isn't that in the dorms..." I could tell she was holding back her excitement. "Yep, you are the only lucky Stay that gets to be with Stray Kids," Chan says and she squeals. "That's so awesome!"
I'm just gonna say thank you to @caine-the-ringleader because you've always been so nice to me, liked my posts, sent me an ask (idc if it was one I was so happy) and genuinely make me feel amazing, so I wish you an amazing day and I actually love you thank you so much
“Yes, I’m holding your hand”
Prinxiety.
@romanasanders, I don’t know how you wanted people to sent you, but here. I tried.
Hey everyone so like I started school tomorrow and I haven't been in school for like 2 years and I am extremely nervous because it went horrible last time and anyways please give me some words of encouragement this is a cry for help <3
just because she’s pretty, that doesn’t mean you’re not. don’t compare yourself. there are infinite types of beauty and you happen to be one of them.
Additionally, caught in the midst of constantly forced to choose a side, Asian Americans are not able to attain a space to grieve their loss or erasure: they are either placed in neat categories of victim or perpetrator, but never victim and perpetrator, and thus are unable to come to terms with what they have lost.
seeing jhope everywhere he goes makes him so happy lol