It Goes Really Really Really Fuzzy (usually Gradually But Sometimes Not) And Then When The Fuzziness

It goes really really really fuzzy (usually gradually but sometimes not) and then when the fuzziness fades and I feel like my brain is clear again x amount of time has passed and x has been fronting for however long

Open ended question for other systems: how does it feel for you when you're not the one fronting?

obsessed with two 15 year olds trying to parent cocoa puffs from hell

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Will: NO INTERNALISED HOMOPHOBIA YOU CANT JUMP ON UR SISTERS HEAD LIKE THAT UR HURTING ISOLATION

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Nico: I never thought I'd be agreeing with my aunt/step grandmother but for fuck sakes grief eat your cereal

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Chiron: um one of ur kids is trying to climb the lava wall..

Nico, screaming at shame from the foot of the lava wall: THATS IT UR GROUNDED YOU BETTER GET UR ASS DOWN HERE YOUNG LADY

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Hazel: holy shit Nico have you been sleeping ???

Nico, bouncing a cocoa puff on his hip with bags under his eyes: don't have a teen pregnancy hazel

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Will: here comes the aeroplane *wHoOsHhH*

Isolation: *random gibberish*

Will, with tears in his eyes: DONT TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME *sobs*

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Bonus:

Kayla: alright kids aunty Kayla's here lets go commit some felonies

Cocoa puffs: *unionised cheering*

Will and Nico: *sobbing in teenage rebellion years they weren't ready for*

In my nightmares I’m always running to or from something and I never reach where I’m trying to go and I was wondering if running was a common occurrence in other people’s bad dreams?

Writing for the kid that never got to exist

the light that was blown out before it could be lit

and for the tangled layers in my head that only make sense on paper

It’s so hard to be a good person in the eyes of society when every time you try you “aren’t doing it right”.

I’m not doing good things “for the right reason”.

I’m not loving “in the selfless way”.

I’m not caring “with the right definition”.

They wonder why we just give up and it’s because nothing is ever fucking good enough.

Sometimes I don’t think people get that chronic means chronic. It means forever. I’m going to be stuck with this for the rest of my life and I’ve had to learn to make peace with that myself. Telling me ‘hope you get better soon’ and ‘it won’t always be like this’ is pointless because you’ve completely ignored the definition of chronic illness.