Osdd Did - Tumblr Posts

It goes really really really fuzzy (usually gradually but sometimes not) and then when the fuzziness fades and I feel like my brain is clear again x amount of time has passed and x has been fronting for however long

Open ended question for other systems: how does it feel for you when you're not the one fronting?

I wanna play this :3

I'm sourced from a song and from Niki Nihachu during the dsmp era! Now, you'd think the song wouldn't change my appearance, but uh. It definitely did!!!

I usually look like this!! But sometimes

I look like this!!

hey, multi-sourced alters! i have a game!

if your appearance changes in headspace, reblog with how you look today!

if you look the same, still reblog with an appearance claim!!! i'd love to see how your brain mixes your sources, or if it doesn't!

i'll start, here's mine :

( art creds ;; damiencandle_OF on twitter )

[ edit ] i realised that i mostly put fictive tags on this, but if you have factive sources, don't feel discouraged from posting those, as well! we won't judge, this is a safe place for all factives. (even ones with problematic sources)

the process of accepting a split for me is just "im making it up they aren't real" --> "okay maybe I have some actual evidence now but they still are not real" --> "f u c k they're real fuck okay" --> "are you kidding me is a split really necessary rn" ---> "this is so cringe why is t h a t the source" (if applicable) --> "okay well they're here so it's fine ig" --> "oh they're cool (:"

hardware vs software: mental disorder edition

I was trying to explain the difference between AuDHD and OSDD's source to an acquaintance the other week, found the note I wrote in my google keep, and thought it might be worth sharing.

I hope I have come up with a good way of explaining. I'm open to kind criticism.

Hardware: Neurodevelopmental disorders

Hardware cannot be changed. The brain is wired like that. Hardware includes ASD, ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, intellectual disability, some kinds of visual and hearing imparements.

It's like when you buy a laptop, it comes with a set of keys, screen, RAM etc, you can't really change it (you can if you force it but for now, think that you can't. Be like Apple, you get what you get!). Everyone has hardware, but it'll look different. Think, an autistic keyboard has a different set of keys to a neurotypical keyboard.

Software: things that develop out of trauma or stress

Software can be changed beyond the original purchase of hardware. It can be installed and added. However, unlike software, most disorders can't be uninstalled (but they can be improved with time and therapy).

Disassociative disorders (DID, OSDD, DPDR etc) install to manage trauma. Depression, PTSD and anxiety is software.. or even a bug... or... virus? is it a virus???

Some software is more likely to install on specific hardware types.

I also had a thought that communicating between neurodivergent people and neurotypicals as like trying to communicate apple with android, it doesn't always work perfectly, though often gets the point across, however sometimes it completely misses the mark??

I have the kind of DID where people don't fully notice it beyond 'little' inconsistencies in my personality, religious expression, preferences, pain tolerance etc until I tell them I have DID

And then there's a pause (and sometimes an explanation of what DID is)

Followed by "oh my god, that makes so much sense"

This. This. THIS. Social media is an echo chamber*. People forget this so so often.

When we were originally researching DID, I removed us from all kinds of DID / OSDD social groups and forums etc and made sure our host only read academic articles, both for/against DID and speak with professionals.

*an echo chamber is an environment in which people encounter beliefs that amplify or reinforce their preexisting beliefs (it's one of the reasons social media is SO notorious for spreading misinformation and conspiracy theories).

This might be controversial, and that's fine with me, but if you are new to discovering your DID/OSDD, please be mindful of how much time you are spending in online DID/OSDD forums and groups. It is very easy for these spaces to become echo chambers, and sociogenic illness does exist.

Talking to other people with DID/OSDD can be helpful for figuring things out, but be careful not to blindly absorb whatever people tell you.

Ultimately, figuring out your condition and the way your system works is between you and a licensed professional, not between you and people in a Discord server.

Some of us learned this lesson the hard way, and I imagine many young systems are still going to be learning it the hard way when they have to untangle real information about their symptoms from what strangers online have told them about their symptoms.

..hey, so you know how system tumblr subtly forces 'normal things' in systems? systems are complicated adaptations to trauma, no one system is going to present the same..

and you know that's okay, right?

sometimes it's easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else thinks of you/your system.. what truly matters with D.I.D / O.S.D.D systems is the clinical appearance. if you reach the diagnostic criteria for a C.D.D, then your system is enough. no matter how you present.

whether your alters are obvious, covert or anything in between.

there's a few things that are common within systems (ie. an alter who fronts more than the others, protector/s, younger alters), but that doesn't mean you have to have them. that's okay if you don't look exactly the same.

once we reached a certain level of awareness of one another, it was natural for our system to fall into categories with an alter ‘heading’ the ‘department’

for example, i watch out for our littles and any interjected members, in doing so, im considered the ‘head’ of that section of our system. one of our seven year olds is the leader of our littles and she relays information to myself and to other protectors. it allows us to monitor who is struggling, who needs extra support etc without having to trust that everyone will communicate with one person.

that was natural for our system, however, that doesn't mean that's everyone's experience.

it doesn't have to be.

sending love and hugs to anyone who needs them,

lillia (🪻)

We're doing an assignment on DID at the moment: it's a mostly visual task. We're planning on creating a (hypothetical) mental health campaign aimed towards lowering the stigma around DID/OSDD as we've faced some real shit at the hands of DID stereotypes

Just wanted to ask some other systems what they associate with DID? Colours, symbols, designs, etc

And if anyone has anything they wish non systems knew about being a system, that too!

Thanks everyone!

(reblogs appreciated for a bigger sample size)

"oh, my characters tell me their names"

...stop, stop, stop right there. That, my dear, is cause for concern

DID/OSDD is just the duplication glitch with personalities

I am so so sorry, I tried reading your dni and about the system page but it's a bit much for me.

However I did read your studying for psychology, how many years of studying do you have? Does did effect your studies ?

So, I typed up a super long answer to this, and it's gone, and I haven't had the spoons to write it up again… but here we go.

That's totally good honey, it's there partly for our reference and for anyone curious. Literally no pressure to read it! We haven't got to university yet; on the condition we get accepted into the bachelors of psychology program, we'll be starting our psych degree in Feb 2025. Our system has had a burning interest in psychology, well, since we were a kid. We've always been fascinated by the human brain and why people act the way they do. Plus, when our mental health started (heavily) declining when the body was 11-13, we started reading and finding things that we're fascinated by. It'll be three years for our bachelor's of psych plus 3-5 years post graduate (masters, phD or post grad certi.) to become a clinical psychologist.

And yes. DID impacts our education.

[The above message was written by Amber (🔥), I'll take over from here - Kyle 💜]

As Amber said, it impacts our education, and heavily. Since discovering we are a system, we have realised there was a lot of knowledge that went unheard, and passed through the system without any recollection. It finally explained how I (we) would get wonderful marks in subjects I (we) don't remember participating in, particularly statistics/maths. Kaden, my brother, would front, complete the class and get amazing scores, while the rest of us were left scrambling in the dark wondering what happened. I was aware of our system far before our host was for about six years before I had the terminology to explain what I was experiencing. I remember how our host would get confused when they received high marks in statistics while remembering absolutely nothing.

We're at a Christian school, which, I have a love/hate relationship with. As some of you may have seen by my past posts, I'm Christian and proudly queer, however our school doesn't see that that's possible (it seems in their eyes you're either queer, or Christian and never both bc 'queerness is unbiblical'). And it's worsened by our system having an array of religions.

From a straight learning perspective, our notes vary drastically and often information goes missed or unnoticed if we switch out.

We're hoping that once we're healthier and achieving functional multiplicity, that we can use our system as a superpower, especially working with clients. Where our littles can help younger clients feel heard and safe, and where we can match our clients with an alter that matches and/or compliments their communication style, and way of relating to the world. And if we ever end up working with a system (or for that matter, PTSD, depression, anxiety, OCD, autism or ADHD) in therapy, we'll have first-hand experience with it.

Rapture Ruckus' song "Fictional" is so DID (specifically introject) coded once you start listening to the lyrics closely.

Last night I had a dream, it felt so real

I woke up in a hospital

Please, doctor, tell me, is it all real?

'Cause it all feels so illogical

Snapbacks to these places that I've never been

Flashbacks to these faces that I've never seen

I feel it scatter like a hollow tick point blank

Waiting on the callback, tellin' me to fall back

And later..

They can knock me down now, but I ain't ever over

Is this real, or is this fiction?

This ain't what I predicted

Bangin' on the door till the door open

Drop me to the floor, though I ain't ever broken

Someone tell me what I'm missin'

Don't know what's real or fiction anymore

Watching Cinema Sins summary of split because I can't stand the idea of watching the full movie.

things im trying to accept as an introject

the body and i will never look the same.. im never going to look in a mirror and see myself..yet i can get used to what i do have

being in a disabled body isnt bad; uncomfortable, terrifying and unpleasant..but it..isn't bad.. though i do miss the ability to run freely

i need to speak up for myself more

Ranora (source), is nothing more than a story in this universe. everything i know, knew, is nothing more than a story. every family member, partner, creature and experience i had is a story...and one that only three others know.

my memories hold meaning, and in some cases can shed light on things that the others don't remember anymore

being queer is okay, and a normal part of human experience

that it's okay to grieve what i lost

that im here for a reason, the brain chose me. they need me. and ive found out why.

creating a new home is possible, and beautiful

Introjects... you're needed. you're loved. your systems need you. it's going to be okay.

you'll create a new home for yourself. i promise. you're not alone, your system can support you, as can your friends and sometimes, family. if any introjects need someone to talk to, our inbox is always open and i will try to reply.

sending love and hugs, to anyone who needs them

~lillia 🪻

At least for me, making my SimplyPlural profile pretty feels like waste of time and somewhat like fake claiming a disorder as "only fake systems have time to make pretty profiles" (..yes it's a ridiculous belief, but one im working on)

and to that I say, fuck it. I did it anyway because SP is one of the few spaces where I can be me, and be me unapologetically. So to anyone who has been having the same fears..

Make it pretty. Make it you. Make it safe.

I put a couple flags in my SP bio today and I cannot be happier :)

thank you @zero-templates for the tiny flags <3

For anyone wondering how to insert images, type ![x]() and insert an image URL between the brackets ()

Happy imaging fellow systems!!

A rumour has started at my school that we have 'multiple personality disorder' I'm going to be sick.

They aren't meant to know that. fuck fuck fuck fuck-

yes we have DID but the people saying we have it are the kinds of people who'd accuse us of having a killer in the system because of 'split'

im going to be sick-

Asking the system whether they want to use parts language (each alter is part of a greater whole), or person language (we're multiple people sharing a body) is always so funny because this happens

fronter, talking to someone else: yeah, we're all part of a greater whole, don't worry, we're all the same person :)

alter: [screams as if the devil just bit their earlobe] how dare you!!?!??!?! I'm a person!! aND I'M NOTHING LIKE YOU

vs

fronter, talking to someone else: so it's like- we're all individuals- sharing a body, and we all have names and feelings and-

alter A: . . . what are feelings?

alter B: ??? what is a name . . . . ?????

alter C: wdym I'm sharing a body with these imbeciles, ew

alter D: ..aren't we parts of a greater whole, cus the brain split to deal with traum-

alter C: shut up, Jessica.

For anyone wondering, the terms OSDD-1b and OSDD-1a have roots in the DSM-IV but aren't considered an official diagnosis any more. By all means, keep using the terms if they help you to differentiate and find community, just know they're not official diagnoses.

we're going to talk about a particular area of our headspace that we view as really important for us.

the greenhouse.

the greenhouse is a massive building that functions as a place where we can work with persecutors on their behaviour while also giving them an outlet for those behaviours.

for example: an alter who held our internalized homophobia and transphobia, who refused to call the body by anything but our birth name and she/her, has been a frequent visitor/someone who lives there to work on the behaviour at the behest of our gatekeepers. she was given a space to be angry, to be hurt, to be whatever she felt at the time. she had a space where she could regulate, be alone or with others, whatever she chose. now, she accepts that our body is transitioning, that our host is transgender, and that we use another name. she still stays there, because she knows she has more to learn, and because she wants to keep that comfortable space she has there.

our greenhouse may contain plants and things to take care of, but it's a space where we provide care for alters who need it.

it's structured in a specific way, which we separate by calling them "rings."

the outer ring contains things like therapy offices, a clinic, and recovery rooms for those who need medical attention.

the inner ring has rooms for the alters who stay there, as well as the rooms of the people who 'work' there, and a sort of common area.

then there's what we call the oculus or atrium, which is the true 'greenhouse' area. it's full of plant life, soil, fields, things of that nature.

there's a specific area that has privacy barriers that sort of belongs to Argosa. it exists on a separate plane, but is still part of the greenhouse, as you can only access it from there or via invitation by Argosa.

the entirety of the greenhouse is a place for recuperation, recovery, whatever you need it to be. it's a space that we all appreciate greatly in headspace.

thanks for reading. we know it's long, but we hope this gives an idea of how we function together and work towards being healthy with and for each other as a system so we can live together.

Attention systems that may have denial or are being fake claimed!!!

Around 1.5% of the population has DID, around 4.1% of the population has some variation of OSDD-1, that makes 5.6% of people that have these disorders, almost six percent!!

That's not even counting undiagnosed or non-disordered systems!!

I would argue that at least around 10 percent of the world has some for of disosiative disorder resulting in a system, which may not sound like a lot, but think about it

There are around 8 billion people in the world. 10% of 8 billion is at least 800000000 people!! Its not nearly as rare as people think!!