Low Empathy - Tumblr Posts

Here’s to hoping that every single person with schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder or DID or NPD or any other ridiculously demonized mental illnesses has a wonderful day

If you’re a stereotypically “good” person because of being abused then that’s great

If you’re a stereotypically “bad” person because of being abused then that’s great

Your response to trauma is valid, your response to abuse is valid and you don’t owe it to anyone to be inspirational.

I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.

I have the unfortunate combination of a savior complex and low empathy. I feel compelled to try and save people begging to be saved, but I am woefully under-qualified for it.

Sometimes I find it great that I have low/no empathy and "doesn't care" that much about people since I don't have to spend energy trying to manage feeling other people's emotions and use said energy to do something actually substantial, such as actually fucking helping said person

Sometimes it's just... kind of horrible... Everyone expects you to have a "normal" amount of empathy and puts words into your mouth about how you're supposed to "feel other people's emotions" and "feel grief over other people's suffering" or else you're a "bad" person. Like yeah, I am helping this person because if I have to hear them complain one more time I'll fucking lose it, but I still helped them. Does that make me a bad person? No, get a fucking grip

It’s so hard to be a good person in the eyes of society when every time you try you “aren’t doing it right”.

I’m not doing good things “for the right reason”.

I’m not loving “in the selfless way”.

I’m not caring “with the right definition”.

They wonder why we just give up and it’s because nothing is ever fucking good enough.

Whenever anyone vents to me or gets really emotional a lot my first thought is that they’re doing it for attention. They’re dramatising it to make it all about them because that’s what I would do.

And then when they keep doing it it’s like okay you made your point can you shut up now?

When the villain threatens the one person the hero cares most about it’s just so funny to me.

They do get that if the villain kills the bargaining chip then there’s nothing left to threaten the hero with, right?

Am I the only one who wants to see the hero just go “I dare you” and if the villain does they just stand around awkwardly?

There’s not a lot of options left if you kill them.

Been seeing a lot of the bullshit about people with aspd/npd or low/no empathy again, so to combat that, I wanted to share a bit of positivity, so.

Things that are wonderful about my low empathy pals

Extremely perceptive

Almost impossible to freak out (great horror movie buddies)

Their ability to see through bullshit is unmatched

Immune to petty drama (unless it's funny)

Their sense of humour????????? The wildest, seriously

Perfect Poker Face

The ability to stay so calm in emergencies

Some of the least judgemental people I know (who knew rejecting social actually makes you more accepting of others? /sarcasm)

Some of the fiercest, most loyal and protective friends to those who have earned it

Unique and shrewd perspective on things because they're immune to guilt-tripping

Understand that actions, not thoughts, are the measure of a person's morality

Secretly the biggest animal lovers you'll ever meet

....and lots more things I didn't mention, but most importantly the most wonderful thing about aspd, npd, and low empathy people is that they are here, they are alive, and they are a beautiful expression of one of the many ways one can be human. They are just as capable of being good or evil as any other person is. If this is you, I want you to know I'm proud of you for surviving everything you've been through, especially the trauma and demonisation. You are worthy just as you are.

Please feel free to add anything I missed! Obviously not everything on this list is going to apply to everyone, since it's drawn from my own friendships and experiences, and everyone is unique, but that's half the point, isn't it?

I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.

people who are good and kind and uplifting and say and do nice things for other people, solely for the purpose of gaining attention or upholding your reputation, i love you, and you still are good people.

i don't care if you're seething with anger or jealousy or hatred inside whilst you do the nice things. you're still a good person. i don't care if you're constantly criticising the other person in your head whilst you do nice things. you're still a good person. i don't care if the entire time you help someone or say something nice you're constantly thinking about yourself or how much you want them to say something nice back or only doing the good thing to get praise or for your own sense of achievement. you're still a good person. i don't care if you're messy or find it extremely hard to do nice things for others and in general. you're. still. a. good. person.

Y’all be grateful for consequences because if there were no consequences I would just do whatever the hell I wanted with no moral compass whatsoever

Anyone who talks about how “edgy” they are needs to go take a bath in acid.

It makes it so hard for people to talk about their actual homicidal ideation or low empathy or low guilt or delusions or other stigmatised symptoms of mental illness.

I shouldn't have to clarify that my delusions are actual harmful, prolonged periods of distorted reality or that when I say I want to kill someone I mean that I have dark fantasies where I kill them in graphic detail.

I don't feel empathy. I don't feel guilt. Most of the time, I don't feel anything for other people. It's not quirky. It's not a joke. It's not something you can say you experience only to turn around and criticise the moment I go more in depth.

Stop trying to be cool by imitating mental illnesses. It's pathetic.

ik this was the implications of the post but i wanna js type it out anyways that it feels really shit sometimes to live in such a shameful world that is so focused on everything being right.

i know sometimes the need to be good and "worthy" and all the other fun shame npd/hpd shame things in my head is exaggerated, but there truly is so much external shame. like where do we think it came from?

i was ranting to my friend about feeling inadequate in my kindness. that i felt shame for being selfish about it. that the fact i loved the attention from being kind made me feel so shit about myself. so horrible. that i was disgusting for it. that im a fraud. that i felt that i constantly had to mask because i either had to be kind or be shunned from society. that i had to be kind or the scum of the earth. that the fact i had to mask with kindness meant that i was actually the scum of the earth. because "truly kind" people didn't have to mask.

and that my kindness wasn't good enough. that i wasn't doing enough. that i was not good enough in my kindness because it was imperfect, or that it was because it was too inherently selfish which made it shit. or not worth it.

they told me that they literally did not care where my kindness came from. just that i was kind to them mattered. and that i was doing enough! that imperfection isn't bad! that kindness isn't going to inherently be good or perfect. that its okay to want thanks and praise for it. that i have needs too.

that i have needs too.

and that i did not always have to mask. kindness goes multiple ways, i can offer kindness. and people can be kind to me back when i am being a bitch. that i did not always have to hide the bubbling anger and hurt inside me. (because i matter too) (that i do not have to earn kindness) (that i do not have to earn kindness).

they also brought up that i was kind in so many ways that could make an impact. selfish or not. kind to the six year old kid that i'm going to grow up to hate. kind to the kids i've adopted in year 7 that i sometimes resent. kind to my friends who are complicated and hard and who deserve love no matter how much sometimes my brain gets so tired of loving and hurt from loving that it takes the feelings away again, that it makes me want to kill them sometimes. kind to my horrible ex, where its so much easier to be kind to them than my other friends but also so much easier to hate them forever. kind to them, always.

(they are truly the nicest to me) (and they make me better for it)

they told me that my kindness was a choice. that i chose over and over again to be kind. even if it was probably more of an inconvenience. even if it is the bare minimum, the fact that i choose it over and over again is so cool. (that even when it's the bare minimum most people do not realise how unkind they are as they preach its importance). that my kindness mattered no matter where it came from.

im just going to copypaste the thing they sent me

"the motivator is invisible!!!! you could be chaotic evil but all ur evil deeds are fundmentally kind and it literally would not matter!!!!!!!!! i know it wont change it, the feeling of hating and loving the attneiton as a thing that is good/bad wont change just from sasying this but i rpomise

it feels bad but its not"

who cares what a "truly kind" person is? that's not a thing.

i am kind for a multitude of reasons. i am kind because i learned to care about (some) people. i am kind because i want to try to help kids be happier, so they wouldn't end up like me (so that they won't hurt other people, so that they won't hurt themselves) (and even if they end up like me they will have someone to go to, someone who is somewhat positive in their lives, someone who will not hate them for being like me). i am kind because i love the attention from it (and i have to remind myself that that's okay, that i am not bad for wanting people's care). i am kind because i choose to be (and i don't always have to be).

and that's pretty cool.

I love you people who show kindness because "it's what you're supposed to do". I love you people who show kindess because they like being thanked. I love you people who show kindness because it makes them feel good. I love you people who show kindness because they were shown kindness first. I love you people who show kindness for "selfish" reasons. I love you people who show kindness for the "wrong" reasons. I love you people who show kindness in a body that rejects the very notion. Your kindness is not any lesser because of its motivations. The good you added to the world is just as valuable as someone doing it for the "right" reasons. Your effort is seen. Your effort is valued.

👏 You do not need empathy to be a good person 👏

👏 You do not need empathy to be a good person 👏

Cuz being good is based on what you do and not on what you feel

👏 You do not need empathy to be a good person 👏

I feel like a lesser known perk of having low/no empathy is that it makes you great at giving advice. All of my friends say that I give great advice, especially when it comes to emotional stuff like relationships because I can think about my friends’ situations with 100% logic and facts, without letting emotions get in the way and cloud my judgement.

Autistic adults who are unable to work, I love you

Autistic adults who stim in public, I love you

Autistic adults who eat the same thing every day, I love you

Autistic adults who have little to no empathy, I love you

Autistic adults who find being in public so overwhelming that they never go outside, I love you

At this point I’m convinced that empathy is a lie created by neurotypicals to further demonise the mentally ill. No one can ever claim to feel exactly what someone else is feeling, and if they do, they’re a liar who’s making someone else’s feelings all about them

i feel like people who say "if you have no empathy you're evil" really. don't. know what empathy actually is.

if i remember correctly, people mix up empathy, sympathy, and compassion a LOT, when they're all different – and feeling little to nothing when it comes to either of these isn't bad at all, people just really love being hypocritical lmao

ig the easiest way that i've been able to condense these down [as someone with little to no empathy/sympathy but fairly normal compassion] is :

empathy - being able to "put yourself in someone else's shoes", and feel emotions as if you're in the same position as them

sympathy - being able to understand why they feel a certain way ; can be compared to feeling sorry/happy for someone when something bad/good happens to them

compassion - being able to show [metaphorical] warmth, the want to make someone feel better

idk someone else can prolly explain them in more depth but i just want an easy way to distinguish them. v v v tired but if you feel nothing towards anyone youre not evil youre cool as fuck 🔥🔥🔥

A pro for me is that I feel I am better able to help people because I am calm and collected. I can rationally asses the situation and help them with their problem. I can see a solution when them being emotional can’t.

Also! Guys please remember that you don’t need empathy to be kind. I am kind because it is the right thing to do. I will help you to feel less sad because it is the right thing to do, not because your sadness makes me sad too.

Benefits of having low empathy:

You can't guilt trip me

I remain calm when other people are in distress

I'm not constantly drained by the negativity of the world (instead I am drained by my own depression)

Disadvantages of having low empathy:

Was that a joke?

Was that sarcasm?

I don't always underatand why people feel the way they do

I don't get happy when other people are happy

People with low empathy are demonized even by mental health professionals :/