Sir-ramic - All My Doubts And Cringe - Tumblr Blog
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For those who needed to hear it today
Can’t let the kid walk back home in the rain on his own
Flat earthers ideal world be like:
i think we shouod terraform earth to make it completely flat because itd be fun
Warmth
"Most absurd is," Hero scowls, "you cuddling me to sleep on the basis of a fever—do you really have a fever?"
"Mmhm, all thanks to you." Villain craddles Hero closer, full lips settling to the top of Hero's head.
"Then, why are you the big spoon?"
"The sick one gets a pass, now hush and sleep."
And they did, a blissful one — surprisingly even to Hero, who has been suffering from recent episodes of insomnia.
Little did Hero know, aside from controlling the flames, Villain can also regulate his body temperature freely.
Yeah my bf and his friends do the same thing. They once sent a text saying "u pee hard" (noun) and the worst part about reading that is that I could actually understand what they were saying:
u pee hard => u bee hard => u bi soft => ubisoft
The game company. They were talking about the game company.
Death looks at you, baffled. “You’re not supposed to be dead.” You raise a brow. “I’m not?” “Nope,” Death says. “Huh… that’s never happened before.” Confused, you ask, “Do I get to go to an afterlife now?” Death shrugs. “You can’t, because you’re not officially dead.”
As someone who is qualified to talk about over the counter skincare the way all sides of the internet talk about skincare are equally infuriating
Hi muts I love u thank u for being friends with me
this is. the government.
Concept: Depressing dystopian factory where everything is gray and samey and the workers are called by their employee numbers by an ominous deep voice.
But it's a really great place to work with high salaries, excellent benefits, and a flexible working schedule with plenty of paid leave. They just like the dystopian aesthetic.
Sorry but Disney said no.
ok guys i gotta say it… what’s with everyone referring to Wolverine (Logan) as “wolf-adjacent” when a wolverine is an actual animal… its not a wolf thing guys… a wolverine is a thing all on its own
I woke up today in a shitty mood and agreed to let myself be late for work (they won't notice) and when I finally came downstairs after coaxing myself to have breakfast, I saw this little star of reflected sunlight distorted off some surface somewhere and thought it was nice.
OOOHHHH I HATE THESE KIDS. Once a kid called me a loser and I ignored him but he kept saying it to my back so I decided to make him my villain backstory.
Then this week he saw me on my skateboard and sweetly asked as if he'd totally forgotten he'd called me a loser, if he could try it out, and I SAID NO and immediately stormed into my house.
I'm getting real sick of kids acting like this ever since covid
I hate to tell you this but that monkey screamed a blood curse upon you.
That nose bleed wasn't just from nothing.
when i was on vacation we went up into the mountains and i saw monkeys and i was so happy my nose started bleeding
This one's going down in tumblr history
I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom
Blub blubb lub blubub blubb blub blub blub. Blub blubb blub lubub, blub lub blub lub blub. Blubub lub blub blubub blub lub blub, blub lub.
fish will you be the livvy dunne to my baby gronk youre so sigma w a lvl ten gyatt im not being skibidi i wanna rizz you up
I really need you to never say that ever again
why can't manatees bounce around on land like seals
a simple reason!
THERE IS NO BOUNCE IN THIS THING. it’s just bones. open bones.
seal and sea lion skeleton for comparison:
LESS BONES!! MORE BOUNCE
But are you normal about your friend who wears the corrupted amulet?
Is everything in the Dungeon Delicious?
"Gmorna, for fucks sake stop messing with the poor thing."
"What? I'm not, I'm explaining highly advanced anti-matter astrothermometrics and analytical autonormative quantum topomathematics to them."
*human engineer having an intellectual stroke*
"Just tell them that you like to steam the unfertilized calcium encased fetuses from their planet for lunch dude it's not that hard."
"They're called 'eggs', Jouor."
“You see human, we use highly advanced anti matter reactors to generate staggering amounts of heat to create steam to-” the human engineer go’s a hysterical meltdown.