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DR GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE (Dir: Norman Taurog, 1965).
A kooky 1960s teen-comedy-cum-spy-spoof from Hollywood’s greatest purveyors of exploitation, American International Pictures (AIP).
The titular Dr Goldfoot (Vincent Price) has invented a machine for turning out lethal bikini clad robots with which he plans to ensnare the world's wealthiest men, acquire their assets and bump them off, eventually seeking world domination. Stumbling upon the plan are bumbling undercover agent Craig Gamble (Frankie Avalon) and playboy Todd Armstrong (Dwayne Hickman), both unwittingly smitten with humanoid Diane (Susan Hart). The pair face some Edgar Allen Poe worthy tortures as they attempt to infiltrate Goldfoot's lair and bust up his operation.
While not an official entry in AIP's Beach Party series, the movie is something of an offshoot of, or cousin to, the beach movies; taking its cues from both the beach and Bond.
In a non-singing role the talented Frankie Avalon gives the impression of being a much better actor than Hollywood allowed. As his partner in crime-busting Dwayne Hickman, while lacking Frankie’s charisma, makes for a perfectly amiable leading man. The magnificent Vincent Price, meanwhile, happily leaves subtlety in his dressing room and hams it up a treat as the infamous Dr G.
It’s all very silly and the humour is very broad and incredibly juvenile. Yet, despite what its title may suggest, it’s all pretty innocent stuff. No movie entitled Dr Goldfoot and the Bikini Machine was ever going to be a plea for feminism but neither is it as rampant with outdated sexism as you might expect. Director Norman Taurog keeps things moving at a rapid pace, with enough whimsical humour and general good vibes as to make it entertaining eye candy, if little else.
At time when increasing civil unrest and the Vietnam War were encroaching on teenagers real lives, it is easy to see why escapist fluff such as this was popular. It is a fun time capsule of a more innocent era - at least in teen movies. Fans of beach movies, Bond and 1960s kitsch should find much to enjoy.
For a longer, more in-depth review of DR GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME! Link below.
ONE MUST FALL (Dir: Antonio Pantoja, 2018).
A low budget, independent horror-comedy, the feature length debut of writer/director Antonio Pantoja.
Unfairly dismissed from an office job by her creepy boss, single parent Sarah (Julie Streble) is forced to take a position as part of crime scene clean-up crew. When called to the site of a murder in abandoned warehouse, Sarah initially has concerns that the killer is still on the premises. Her fears are confirmed when, one by one, her colleagues start disappearing...
One Must Fall is quite gory but it is also very funny. For me, the funnies did go some way to offsetting the grizzlies, although there was the odd moment when I felt compelled to look away from the screen; notably during a clean-up sequence and in the excessively bloody and highly improbable but amusing conclusion.
Set in the 1980s, the era is reinforced by pop culture references such as vintage Pepsi cans, Walkmans and nods to Janet Jackson and ET. There is also a cheeky anachronistic reference to the Duffer Brothers blockbuster 1980s period Netflix series Stranger Things (2016 - present). Adding authenticity is a neat electronic soundtrack, which recalls John Carpenter's music for his iconic slasher movie Halloween (John Carpenter, 1978).
Director Antonio Pantoja is not afraid to indulge in horror clichés, sometimes ironically, but always effectively. In this he has crafted a loving tribute to the genre's legacy. It lacks the polish of a larger production, but this is no bad thing; the lack of studio sheen lends it an air of 80s slasher movie authenticity. The cast, all of whom were unfamiliar to me, make a game task at juggling the more horrific scenes with some moments of goofy humour. Julie Streble, in particular, is both sympathetic and believable as the kick-butt heroine.
With credible effects work and some genuine moments of tension One Must Fall should please ardent slasher aficionados. Ultimately, the black comedy aspect took the edge off of some of the nastiness and in the moments I wasn't averting my eyes from the screen, I was definitely entertained.
I was lucky enough to catch a screening of One Must Fall at Southend-on-Sea's Horror-on-Sea Festival 2020. It doesn't appear, as yet, to be widely available. If comedy-horror-slasher movies are your thing this is worth keeping an eye out for!
A longer, more in-depth review of ONE MUST FALL is available on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME! Link below.
IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE (Jack Arnold, 1953).
Famous for their influential horror movies of the 1930, by the 1950s Universal Studios focus had shifted to a different kind of monster movie, informed by increasing fear of nuclear war and the threat of Communism. The template for these serious minded, paranoia soaked sci-fi features was set with the first and most influential of the series, It Came from Outer Space.
Amateur astronomer John Putnam (Richard Carlson) is the only witness to a spacecraft crash on the outskirts of the small desert town of Sand Rock, Arizona. When his fellow townsfolk start acting suspiciously he expects alien influence. Convincing his girl Ellen (Barbara Rush) and cynical local sheriff (Charles Drake), a posse is assembled to flush out the intruders. Certain that the intelligent aliens are benign and pose no threat, John must keep the angry mob at bay while essential repairs are made to the damaged craft. Failure to do so risks the life of his captured pals.
Based on an unpublished story by sci-fi maestro Ray Bradbury, It Came from Outer Space is, on the surface, a film about alien invasion. Yet, as with much of the sci-fi of its era, the movie serves as an analogy for the very real post-War fear of Communist infiltration.
Shot and originally exhibited in 3D, the movie is surprisingly light on things being lobbed at the screen, so works just fine when viewed flat. Clifford Stine's beautiful black and white cinematography perfectly captures the eerie isolation of the desert surrounds, giving the impression of a barren alien landscape.
Director Jack Arnold delivers an intelligent comment on the political and social mores of 1950's America; at its heart a plea for the acceptance of others. He elicits fine performances from a not exactly starry cast, as the drama unfolds with tension mounting pace, drenched in an innovative and influential theremin rich soundtrack.
If it seems a little cliched at time, this is only because it spawned so many imitations. In its own right It Came from Outer Space is a 50's monster masterpiece and a groundbreaking, original piece of popular cinema.
For a longer, more in-depth review of IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME! Link below:
THE MIRACLE OF THE BELLS (Dir: Irving Pichel, 1948).
The Miracle of the Bells is a sentimental RKO drama with an A list cast.
Via a series of flashbacks, the story of aspiring actress Olga Treskovna (Alida Valli - billed here as simply Valli) is told through voice-over narration by Hollywood press agent Bill Dunnigan (Fred MacMurray). Following her early death, Dunning fulfulls her final wish by returning with the body to the small coal-mining town of her childhood. Here she is to receive a modest burial at the struggling St Michael's church, conducted by Father Paul (Frank Sinatra). We learn of Dunnigan's unrequited love of Olga as he concocts a publicity stunt to secure the release of her only film, a starring role as Joan of Ark, which producer Marcus Harris (Lee J Cobb) has held back, due to her death.
The decision to tell the story in flashback was probably a mistake and does little to help an already weak narrative. Its 120 minutes feels epically long and structuring the movie in this way only serves to delay the inevitable conclusion. When it finally arrives, the treatment of the so called 'miracle' is mawkish in the extreme. Despite its themes of faith and belief, The Miracle of the Bells feels patently fake. Nothing about the movie rings true, from its skewed ideas about the workings of Hollywood to the reaction of the world to the death of the previously unheard of 'star'. Even the miracle of the title is called into question by the St Michael's priest.
Faith can be a tricky subject to pull off on film, but it can be done; festive favourites such as It's a Wonderful Life (Frank Capra, 1946) and The Bishop's Wife (Henry Koster, 1947) are testament to this. Yet where those movies were successful in presenting spiritual themes in engaging, credible manner to a secular audience, The Miracle of the Bells is not. It feels outdated, corny and preachy. But its biggest sin of all is that it is so dull.
With its star-studded cast, The Miracle of the Bells is not entirely unwatchable, but I cannot honestly recommend it. Give it go if you must; it will be a miracle if you make it until the end.
For a longer, more in-depth review of THE MIRACLE OF THE BELLS visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME! Link below.
FIVE WEEKS IN A BALLOON (Dir: Irwin Allen, 1962).
A longer, more in-depth version of the following review can be found on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME! Link below.
Loosely based on Jules Verne's 1863 novel of the same name, Five Weeks in a Balloon finds an unlikely crew of adventurers, including explorer Fergusson (Cedric Hardwicke), his youthful assistant (popstar Fabian) and US newspaper hack Donald O'Shay (Red Buttons), set sail for Africa in a hot air balloon with a gondola inexplicably shaped like a unicorn! Picking up kidnapped teacher Susan (Barbara Eden) and slave trader Ahmed (Peter Lorre) en route. Getting into scrapes involving various tribes-people, the odd slave and a pipe-smoking chimp, expect some outdated racial stereotypes and some decidedly pre-feminist representations of women. Nothing overtly offensive, however, be warned it is very much a product of its time!
Five Weeks in a Balloon was a conscious attempt by 20th Century Fox to repeat the success of their adaptation of Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth (Henry Levin, 1959). Irwin Allen would seem a natural choice for director, having previously helmed the hit adventure movies The Lost World (1960) and Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea (1961), both for Fox. Sadly, Five weeks in a Balloon would prove to be a disappointment, both artistically and commercially. It certainly isn't terrible, but it lacks the scope and grandeur of Journey to the Center of the Earth and even the more modest The Lost World. A smaller budget is evident; while there is nothing essentially wrong with the effects, the balloon for example is impressive, it just seems light on spectacle compared to earlier Verne adaptations.
Ultimately, Five Weeks in a Balloon is too slight a movie to be considered the epic adventure is promises to be. Neither is it the schlocky fun that so much of the Allen oeuvre is. It is lightweight entertainment, but perhaps a little too lightweight. As adventure and comedy it never quite takes flight and the end result is fun but a bit bland.
MAD MAX: FURY ROAD (Dir: George Miller, 2015).
Visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME to read a longer version of this review! Link below.
Tom Hardy takes the lead in this reboot of the popular post-apocalyptic Mad Max franchise.
Although a modestly budgeted Australian production, the original Mad Max (George Miller, 1979) was an enormous box office success and shot star Mel Gibson to international stardom. Mad Max: Fury Road is once again directed by the original series' co-writer and co-creator George Miller.
The movie opens in a futuristic post-apocalyptic wasteland ruled by masked bad dude Immortan Joe (Hugh Keayes-Byrne). Captured by Joe's army and used as a 'bloodbag' by sickly soldier Nux (Brendan McCarthy), our hero Max soon finds himself adorning the hood of Nux's gasoline guzzling vehicle. Nux is in pursuit of Imperator Furiosa who is fleeing Joe with five of his wives in tow, one of whom is heavily pregnant. After some initial misunderstandings(!) Max and Furiosa soon team up to whoop Joe's ass. Which they do in spectacular fashion!
Mad is right; this movie is a bit bonkers! It is also nonstop adrenaline, with breathtaking action set pieces. The pace barely lets up for a second, and while occasionally confusing, it is never dull!
It is also visually stunning; from special effect sets to costumes to John Seale's exquisite cinematography Mad Max: Fury Road has to be one of the best looking blockbusters out there.
It is quite violent and occasionally grizzly. But the movie's overtly stylised and somewhat surreal atmosphere made the violent scenes much more palatable, even to a sensitive soul like me.
Tom Hardy is great in the lead, and makes for a surprisingly sympathetic Max. As the kick-butt Imperator Furiosa, Charlize Theron is Hardy's equal in the action stakes and, refreshingly, of equal importance to the narrative. This lends the movie a welcome feminist angle relatively rare in mainstream action films.
While I found the narrative in Fury Road a little confusing I was ultimately won over by its bonkers charm! Action movies as artistic as this are rare beasts; Mad Max: Fury Road is therefore recommended viewing, even for those who are not especially fond of the genre.
SATURDAY NIGHT OUT (Dir: Robert Hartford-Davis, 1964).
Saturday Night Out is a portmanteau movie made up of five loosely connected vignettes following the exploits of four merchant seaman and a ships passenger on a night out in the capital. An uneasy mix of the comedic and the dramatic, the movie's best sequences are those laced with humour and which are less concerned with courting controversy.
Visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME to read the full review! Link below.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND (Dir: Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson & Hamilton Luske, 1951).
Visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME to read a longer, more in-depth review of ALICE IN WONDERLAND. Link in bio.
Lewis Carroll’s 1865 novel Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland has inspired countless movie adaptations. Arguably the most successful screen version is Walt Disney’s feature length animation.
The well known story of Alice... concerns a curious young girl who chases a waistcoat wearing rabbit down a rabbithole into the weird and wonderful Wonderland. Many encounters with assorted freaks later, her adventure concludes with an unusual game of croquet in the court of the Queen of Hearts.
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
DATE WITH DISASTER (Dir: Charles Saunders, 1957).
Visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME to read a longer, more in-depth review of DATE WITH DISASTER.
Date with Disaster is something of a misnomer of a title, seemingly designed to appear more sensational. With no particular date or disaster to be found, the movie concerns two partners of secondhand car dealer Highgrade Autosales, who plan a safe robbery while third partner Miles Harrington (Tom Drake) is out of town. Engaging the help of professional criminal Tracey (William Hartnell) things, as you might expect, do not go according to plan. Mixed up in the dodgy doings is Miles' girl Sue (Shirley Eaton).
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
PORT OF ESCAPE (Dir: Tony Young, 1956).
Noir-ish British B-movie crime flick starring real life husband and wife John McCallum and Googie Withers. Based upon Barbara S Harper’s short story Safe Harbour.
Having just docked in London, seaman Mitch Gillie (McCallum) accidentally kills a man in a knife fight while protecting his pal Dinty (Bill Kerr). On the lam and needing an escape route they commander the houseboat of gossip columnist Anne Stirling (Googie Withers). At first fearing the men, Anne, her sister (Wendy Danielli) and their housekeeper (Joan Hickson) eventually try to help the pair when they learn of Dinty’s mental illness.
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
THE HEADLESS GHOST (Dir: Peter Graham Scott, 1959).
The Headless Ghost is a comedy horror with the accent firmly on comedy.
Three exchange students Americans Ronnie (David Rose) and Bill (Richard Lyon) and Danish Ingrid (Liliane Sottane) spend the night in haunted Ambrose Castle. With the help of the spirit of the 4th Earl of Ambrose (Clive Revill) they must reunite the head and shoulders of Malcolm, the headless ghost of the title. Imagine, if you will, an episode of Scooby Doo Where Are You! sans the Great Dane but with real ghosts and you pretty much have The Headless Ghost in a nutshell.
Visit my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME to read the full review. Link below.
THE GHOST AND MR CHICKEN (Dir: Alan Rafkin, 1966).
The Ghost and Mr Chicken is a family friendly comedy/horror from Universal Pictures, with the accent firmly on smiles rather than shocks.
Something of a throwback to haunted house comedies of an earlier age - the Bob Hope vehicle The Cat and the Canary (Elliott Nugent, 1939) springs to mind - The Ghost and Mr Chicken finds nebbish newspaper typesetter Luther Heggs spend the night in a haunted house in an attempt to further his career as as a journalist. Becoming a local celebrity, he lands himself a subpoena when property owner Mr Simmons (Philip Ober) challenges Heggs' claims of ghostly goings on in the abandoned abode.
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link in below.
SHOCKTOBER! Day 2: HOUSE (Dir: Steve Miner, 1985).
From Sean S Cunningham, producer/director of Friday the 13th (1980) and Steve Miner, director of Friday the 13th Part II (1981) comes House, a shocker of a markedly lighter tone than the slasher movies for which either was known.
Promoted as a comedy horror, House stars William Katt as horror author Roger Cobb (presumably modeled after Stephen King) a Vietnam vet who is mourning the recent suicide of a beloved aunt and the mysterious disappearance of his young son. Both events are somehow connected to the creepy house which his aunt has left to Cobb in her will. Retreating to his aunt's abode to write a biographical novel based upon his wartime experiences, he is haunted by all manner of apparitions, included that of comrade Big Ben (Richard Moll) who died in Vietnam. Naturally folks think Cobb is crazy. Enlisting the help of amiable neighbour Harold (George Wendt), Cobb battles to overcome both inner-demons and the curse of the house of horrors.
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
SHOCKTOBER Day 4: THE BLACK SCORPION (Dir: Edward Ludwig, 1957).
Swapping atomic ants for subterranean scorpions and the Los Angeles sewers for the caverns of the Mexico desert, The Black Scorpion shamelessly hitches a ride on the coattails of monster movie masterpiece Them! (Gordon Douglas, 1954).
An undistinguished B-movie cast of little charisma cannot help but be overshadowed by the giant scorpions rampaging the southern portion of North America. The second hand plot finds the enormous arachnids chowing down on the San Lorenzo locals. Luckily some US scientists are on hand to make sure the pesky critters do not hop the border. Yup, the plot really is as lazy as my description of it.
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
THE DEAD DON’T DIE (Dir: Jim Jarmusch, 2019).
Writer/director Jim Jarmusch pays homage to George A Romero in the zombie comedy (zomedy?) The Dead Don’t Die.
Rural small town Centerville finds itself in the midst of of zombie uprising somehow linked to the altering of the Earth's rotation due to polar fracking (?). At the centre of the action are local police chief Cliff Robertson (Bill Murray) and his partner, officer Ronnie Peterson (Adam Driver), who must attempt to hold off the meat hungry horde from consuming the community.
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN (Dir: Nathan Hertz, 1958).
Proto-feminist text or trash classic? As much as some film historians claim it’s the former, I think sci-fi/horror Attack of the 50 Foot Woman is probably the later; a cheap and cheerful exploitation film aimed squarely at the drive-in, double feature market.
After arguing with her two-timing husband, heiress and owner of the world's most expensive diamond Nancy Archer (Alison Hayes) has a run in with an extra-terrestrial satellite, inexplicably inhabited by a 30 foot bald-headed behemoth (Michael Ross, doubling as Tony the bartender). Radiation exposure results in Nancy growing to a whopping 50 feet in height. Meanwhile husband Harry (William Hudson) takes the opportunity to steal her diamond and ensconce with fancy-lady Honey (Yvette Vickers). Soon the police are on their tail as, more worryingly, is Nancy who wants her diamond and her man back!
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
THE COLOSSUS OF NEW YORK (Dir: Eugène Lourié, 1958).
Low budget sci fi shocker of the ‘good scientist gone bad’ variety, from Paramount Pictures.
With story aspects and visuals borrowed liberally from the likes of Der Golem (Paul Wegener & Carl Boese, 1920) and Frankenstein (James Whale, 1931) The Colossus of New York tells of acclaimed scientist Dr Jerry Spensser (Ross Martin); cut down in his prime on the eve of collecting an International Peace Prize. After relieving the dead body of its brain, his surgeon father (Otto Kruger) and automation expert brother (John Baragrey) promptly insert the cranium into that of a 8 foot metal man and, with some incredible shortsightedness, inexplicably fit the robot with death ray laser eyes! Lamenting the lack of a soul and understandably upset at his brother's romancing of his widow (Mala Powers), Dr Jerry breaks free of the laboratory that binds him, and heads cityward, all eyes blazing! But not before a weirdly touching reunion with his fatherless young son Billy (Charles Herbert).
Full review available to read on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME! Link below.
DEVIL GIRL FROM MARS (Dir: David McDonald, 1954).
With Martian men on the verge of extinction, Nyah (Patricia Laffan), a PVC clad dominatrix who bears a passing resemblance to a young Agnes Moorehead, is dispatched to London to collect male specimens for the purpose of repopulating the planet. Accompanied by a robot seemingly made from odds and ends found in a garden shed, the would-be seductress with the voice of a British Rail announcer goes off course and crash lands in the Scottish Highlands. Here she invades the remote Bonnie Charlie Inn; the residents of which are a motley bunch including an escaped murder and his girl, an aspiring model, a scientist, an investigative journalist and a sturdy Scots landlady. The men of the Inn aren't up to spec so Nyah must repair her craft and continue on her mission. But those pesky Earthlings have other ideas and are intent on stopping her. You can bet they are sorry when she unleashes a powerful raygun and her giant flowerpot 'bot on them!
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (Dir: R Winer & B Mahon, 1972).
If you are looking for alternative Christmas viewing it doesn’t get much more alternative than this, frankly weird, no-budget effort from indie production company R & S Films, Inc.
Santa (Jay Clark) touches down in sunny Florida and gets his sleigh stuck in the sand. Using his powers of telepathy(!), Ol’ Saint Nick summons the help of some local kids including, for reasons unexplained, Mark Twain’s literary Tom and Huck. The kids employe an assortment of animals, gorilla included, to shift the sleigh to no avail, until the appearance of the titular rabbit who, despite co-star billing, doesn’t appear until the final moments of the movie. When he does finally make an entrance he is inexplicably driving a fire truck, not an ice cream van as you might expect.
Read the full review on my blog JINGLE BONES MOVIE TIME. Link below.
The House By The Cemetery (1981)