Deppresing Thoughts - Tumblr Posts

MAJOR MAJOR MAAAAAAJOR

RED VS BLUE SPOILER!!!!

Please scroll if you don't want spoilers

In loving memory of sarge, because I'm so incredibly sad but I don't have enough energy to have a proper way to horour him, so I'll do this for now :(

I'm so sad

❆ Poem/Photo by me. ❆

I feel like I’ve always wanted to be gone from this world as my life went on. From never making friends at school or failing classes and so many other things. I’ve always wanted to disappear, Even if I had to die. But I have never wanted to kill myself. I don’t think I could take the pain of doing it and knowing that my mother would find my dead body and wonder why. Why I would do this, and what happened to me. I don’t think I can imagine her standing over my coffin, crying over the daughter she gave birth to and raised. Who she raised the best she could as a single mother. I don’t think I could take the thought of imaging her standing over my grave on every major holiday crying because her baby is gone and she’s never coming back. It’s hard to think that nobody other than her would care but I know they would, but I could never do something like that to my mother. So I stay alive floating through life waiting for something interesting to happen, and when it does I hope I will still be here to witness it.

as blood drips from the blade, you curl up next to me.

You purr and butt your head against my leg.

I flinch.

The pain hurts but it helps.

You lay in my lap as I cry and don't care when my tears get in your fur.

I cry and think of a future without you.

Blood drips down my arm as I pet you, but you don't care.

You yell as I lay on my floor hoping for death, but I do not follow through.

Because if I do who will give you your treats?

Who will feed you when you're hungry?

Who will pet you when you crave nothing more than attention?

I will stay until your last breath.

I will stay until I hear your heart stop.

Because you are my best friend, and I could not live without you.

So, I will stay alive until you grow old and tired.

until your bones ache and you can't gather the strength to eat.

I will live until you die.

And I hope to see you again, my best friend.

Dear Reader,

You don’t know me and I don’t know you,I don’t know your story or what you’re going through.But I want you to know that You Are Not Alone.

No matter how how Lost,Alone,Broken,or Empty you feel.You Are Not Alone.And you don’t have to go through this Alone.

More than anything I want this blog to be a safe place where people can come and feel safe and loved.

So please know,if you’re hurting and feel like you can’t talk to anyone you Can come here.You Can talk to Me,even if all I can do is Listen, I Will.

Because I know what it’s like to feel Completely Broken and feel like I can’t tell anyone.

[20:50] It sucks to be the only one left behind. People moving forward and you are strapped down by force of mind and by force of nature, your own mind trapping you in an endless spiral of self-hate. No one seems to aknowledge your mair existence, let alone your fears and needs and the tears skimming down your face night by night. 

I have been the strong one for so long. I can not take it anymore. And if someone does not notice it soon enough, I’ll explode,and my blood and my insides will spill on your feet and you’ll have to ask where did you go wrong, what did you not do right. 

Cause you’ll have my blood on your collarbones and my throbbing heart in your palm.

PLEASE END THIS TORTURE