Ed Thoughts - Tumblr Posts

hey guys, so i really want to lose like 20 or maybe 30kg... can you help me? Like giving me some advices or something? plssss!

y’all ever cancel plans or just don’t go out with your friends at all because you feel so ugly and repulsive and disgusting that you don’t want to subject them to having to look at you and be near u or be seen with u in public 🤡🤡

how much do y’all think i have to lose for my sister to say this to me? (she regularly calls me fat and says i should be on my 600 pound life)

i got told i’m 2 skinny by my little sister when she was looking at my wrist bone poking out did i win

it’s 12:00 am and today i’ve had a cup of black coffee and 4 green beans and idk if i’ll survive kinda scared but i really dont feel like eating, do you guys think i’ll live?

food log for 6/26/20

1 Cup of black coffee (1 cal.) 4 green beans (7 cal.) 6 doritos (75 cal) 1 egg (78 cal) feel like it might come up if ya know what I mean might edit this later bc the day hasn’t ended yet.

note to self: next time you go to grandma’s house, remember to bring laxatives lol  

i feel like i overate, so i’m gonna do a food log (without calories bc i didn’t count them) and maybe that will calm me down or make me feel worse ;)

for breakfast i had at least 20 frozen grapes and two slices of sweet melon because it wasn’t really that good

at lunch everyone ate burgers, but i only ate like 3/4 of the meat my uncle served me, along with 4 fries (i think that’s what is bugging me)

i’ve drank so much fucking diet coke it’s pathetic, i think i might’ve gained from that

at dinner i ate a little bit of thai rice, but left a lot on my plate, so i cooked myself some broccoli so my mom wouldn’t be sus

i ate like 2 apples today or something like that and they were supposed to be my safe foods but lately i’m kinda scared of them

yesterday i binged on h2oh! (which has 0 kcals, but it made me feel so full idk) and frozen grapes and an apple, and i am aware that binging on fruit is probably a 1000 times better than binging on sweets, yet i still feel worthless, a failure and invalid.

i walked 10+km today, but i’ve been doing that for a little over a week and it doesn’t seem as hard anymore, maybe that’s my ‘ed’ talking, but if it doesn’t feel as hard, maybe i’m not making any progress.

i just wanna be the best at this, and no matter what i do, i always feel like i’m nowhere being good.