Eldest Daughter Syndrome - Tumblr Posts

listen being the eldest child sucks but i just got to teach my younger siblings how to fold paper airplanes and like. shit man

People end up steam rolling his character into just the happy pretty guy who can flip and occasionally quip, if that.

I've seen fics where the author basically argues that Dick's trauma is negligible, especially when comparing it to his brother, simply because "he doesn't act traumatised."Hello?? Do you not see the blaring signs of Eldest Daughter syndrome? The severe trauma surrounding nearly every aspect of his life? His adoptive father, his suit, his city, his brothers, his acrobatics, so many friendships and romantic relationships, and he's still come out stronger.

There's so much to explore with him! His morality, his non traditional skillset, his connections and dynamics, his ambition, his selflessness and its roots and causes, his versatility and adaptability, his influence and SO much more.

People deciding that he is a shallow, ✨ aesthetique ✨character is such a disservice, when he really is one of the most beautifully complex characters around.

dick grayson is such a complex character with depth but people always ignore it to sexualize him (even though in the comics he battles with being objectified + he’s been harassed multiple times in comics because of this) and it gets on my nerves

a canon event for every oldest daughter is being told “you would be a good lawyer”

Being the eldest daughter is like them putting a lid on the love shower you soaked up when you were a little kid, all so you don't end up this big-time spoiled brat. Instead, you're supposed to grow up all responsible and mature (which earns you those "you're mature for your age," "you're an old soul" comments). So, you end up being the person everyone turns to when things need straightening, even if you have to push your feelings aside. Eldest daughters become experts at sacrificing, so when they actually let go of things they care about, it throws everyone off. They pretty much become the third parent for their siblings, and sometimes they're even parenting their own parents. And here's the twist – you can't really vent about stuff because you're the oldest daughter. Making compromises becomes your middle name. All of this adds up to bottling up feelings and not really letting your parents in on much. But, when the whole act slips and you finally show how you truly feel, parents come back with, "Why are you so down? You've got a roof over your head, everything you need – some kids don't even have that." So, you end up feeling guilty about opening up. They do care, seriously, but it's mostly about your physical well-being. They're always bugging you about drinking water and eating on time. And their logic? "Who's gonna be stuck next to you in the hospital if you get sick? I've got a ton of important stuff to deal with, you know!" So, you dodge emotions. Then you get blamed and yelled at because your younger sibling gives your parent attitude and somehow it's your fault because you're the oldest daughter. You're taught that oldest daughters have to be soft, kind, and gentle, even when someone's wrong, even when the other person is acting like a jerk – you're told not to lose your cool. How does it start? You know, from simple things like "don't be like that, share your stuff with your siblings," "you're a bad kid for scolding your sibling because they wrecked your project, come on, they're just naive, you can do it again, right?" "You're a grown-up, stop whining about that." So, giving up on things becomes a casual thing, and then your whole life you're seeing yourself giving up on people, hobbies, everything, and you let other people take your stuff without a complaint or a single tear because that's selfish and oldest daughters aren't supposed to be like that.

Being the eldest daughter looking at your mom like [I love you] [I hate you] [you’re my best friend] [if I have to spend another second with you today I’m gonna lose it] [everything I am is because of you (affectionate)] [everything I am is because of you (derogatory)] [thank you for the sacrifices you made for me] [why the fuck would you make those sacrifices for me] [you deserve the world (you deserved better)]

The more I see the phrase “eldest daughter syndrome” the higher it raises my hackles. It’s just parentification. It’s parentification and if you call it parentification it’s a lot easier to explain, and it’s a lot easier for the younger siblings or only children and children of any gender to identify it happening to them too.

Like I get that oldest sibs are more likely to be treated as accessory parents of their youngers, and I get that in a lot of families girls are pushed into caregiver roles, but fucking hell man parentification can and does happen to any kid regardless of birth order and gender, and while situations vary from family to family, there isn’t really anything the parentified oldest daughters are experiencing that the other parentified kids aren’t.

it's hard to explain because inevitably you sound like an asshole, but some people are allowed to lose their temper, lose their mind - you're not, though.

when your friend never texts you first and misses your birthday and never makes an effort; you don't mind. you know she's struggling, and you want her to get the help that she deserves. you give her every excuse and every chance.

it shouldn't matter to you so much that people are always coming through for her. you want her to be happy, you love it for her. you love that her community rises up to the occasion. why does it bother you that when she snaps at someone, says horrible mean things - but two hours later, everyone is comforting her while she's crying. you know she's stressed. why do you kind of hate that she is welcomed back to her job, that her parents are endlessly wiring her money.

and you're - fuck, are you envious?

but when you don't text back, someone sits you down and says i know you're struggling, but you're being a bad friend. when you're too numb to show up for work, your boss just shakes his head. i'm sorry. i can't approve more time off. we have the company to protect. when you finally snap back at your family for making that shitty comment again, you're forced to apologize for being too sensitive.

god forbid you need something. people aren't used to you being the one asking. you're the giver like the book you hated; your pages all open and rumpled. you always have the answer, always have the solution. you are reliable, trustworthy. people like you don't struggle with things. you're supposed to be lifted by tragedy. you are given a maximum of 24 hours to grieve, and then you need to just behave at the party.

you can't read the giving tree without feeling like crying, and even that feels like it's too much emotion. like, nobody looks at you and assumes you're the tree; they'd name five other people before even considering you in the running. you're just there, never-asking.

your friend gets to say mean shit, that's just her personality. when you make a snide comment, you're just being petty. people laugh when your friend stands you up for another event; they say she's just like that. you were 5 minutes late to a meeting with friends and they were mad about it for the rest of the evening. your friend sets everything on fire; everyone applauds her through the ashes. you so much as light a candle: and suddenly now you're an arsonist.

you don't want your friend to suffer, though. the thing is that you just wish that the empathy and kindness your friend gets - you wish you had that option, that everyone offered you grace and money and a gentle reception.

the other day you were fighting down the bad urge; the void call, the end note. you tried-anyway. you went to the family event, tried laughing at the right moments. nodded and smiled and all of it. one of your siblings threw a fit, but she's allowed to, so everyone just rolled their eyes about it. you took 3 whole minutes to stand outside when you got overwhelmed. you literally set a timer about it.

in the morning you woke up to a text from your parents: you were a complete disgrace last night. idk what your attitude problem is, but you really need to fix it.

Can't believe I was made the pan ace, atheistic witch eldest daughter in a strict Indian Christian family, yes they're queerphobic and islamophobic, and obviously thinks witchcraft is blasphemy. I'm so sorry, we'll get through it.

Cant believe i was made the bisexual, Non-binary, communist eldest daughter in a conservative, right winged Indian Hindu family thats extremely homophobic and islamophobic... what crimes am i paying for!??

First watch of supernatural, arrived at season 1 ep 10, and Dean Winchester eldest daughter syndrome is triggering like there should be a warning before that shit

Eldest daughter suspicion approved his brother is being manipulated by a spirit and bitch tricked him into shooting him like 1) this is going to be traumatising for the poor thing 2) I would 100% do the same

And then he refused to speak about it 😭😭😭

First watch of supernatural, arrived at season 1 ep 10, and Dean Winchester eldest daughter syndrome is triggering like there should be a warning before that shit

Juste finished spn S1 and my suspicions have been proved true like I would kill without hesitation for you two , dad wouldn't say that he is proud of me, you ain't my father I am paraphrasing but boy if this isn't 100% what being an older daughter is about.

And his discussion with demon dad like : he always liked sam more, stop him dad please dad please, like I am not alright what the hell

First watch of supernatural, arrived at season 1 ep 10, and Dean Winchester eldest daughter syndrome is triggering like there should be a warning before that shit