What Am I Supposed To Do - Tumblr Posts
Three weeks left in school. I think I might kill myself
There's so many space dad's now
How am I supposed to keep track??
1.10 I 2.02 I 2.10
day 5.
wow that sure is a lot of blogs im following... no way ill regret this when i next look at my dash ahaha
You ever start using a tool for a project and the vibes are just sliiiiightly off? That’s how I feel about actix-web. It seems nice, but I get the impression there may be something more sinister under the surface.
I can't help it but I feel mad at you because you are ruining all my plans but at the same time I know it's not completely your fault
Part of growing up I guess?
Why it the second you stop doing exactly what your parents say you become broken? Something they don't want to see everyday, something that they think is disrespectful, something not even worthy of their time, something selfish. It is not their fault they blame you. Because you might have chose a path for yourself that they can't brag about. Because you didn't fit the mold they spent so long picturing you in.
i wanna join a rp fandom but i'm so scared of that like what do i do??
Being the eldest daughter is like them putting a lid on the love shower you soaked up when you were a little kid, all so you don't end up this big-time spoiled brat. Instead, you're supposed to grow up all responsible and mature (which earns you those "you're mature for your age," "you're an old soul" comments). So, you end up being the person everyone turns to when things need straightening, even if you have to push your feelings aside. Eldest daughters become experts at sacrificing, so when they actually let go of things they care about, it throws everyone off. They pretty much become the third parent for their siblings, and sometimes they're even parenting their own parents. And here's the twist – you can't really vent about stuff because you're the oldest daughter. Making compromises becomes your middle name. All of this adds up to bottling up feelings and not really letting your parents in on much. But, when the whole act slips and you finally show how you truly feel, parents come back with, "Why are you so down? You've got a roof over your head, everything you need – some kids don't even have that." So, you end up feeling guilty about opening up. They do care, seriously, but it's mostly about your physical well-being. They're always bugging you about drinking water and eating on time. And their logic? "Who's gonna be stuck next to you in the hospital if you get sick? I've got a ton of important stuff to deal with, you know!" So, you dodge emotions. Then you get blamed and yelled at because your younger sibling gives your parent attitude and somehow it's your fault because you're the oldest daughter. You're taught that oldest daughters have to be soft, kind, and gentle, even when someone's wrong, even when the other person is acting like a jerk – you're told not to lose your cool. How does it start? You know, from simple things like "don't be like that, share your stuff with your siblings," "you're a bad kid for scolding your sibling because they wrecked your project, come on, they're just naive, you can do it again, right?" "You're a grown-up, stop whining about that." So, giving up on things becomes a casual thing, and then your whole life you're seeing yourself giving up on people, hobbies, everything, and you let other people take your stuff without a complaint or a single tear because that's selfish and oldest daughters aren't supposed to be like that.
Never had this big of a crush on someone since forever and idk what to do?????
People when I slouch:
"you seem shorter than normal! Are you tired or something? You do know slouching isn't masculine right??"
People when I try to force my posture to be "better":
"wow you're really stiff! Am I making you uncomfortable? You should really relax more!"
daniel’s trust issues stemming from his various bad relationships with the men in his life can b something that is so personal
My dearest love(AO3) has gone of to war(server maintenance), and I fear I shall never see them again(it’ll be up again in a few hours)
When I woke up this morning Ao3 was down. I waited for hours, refreshing my page and checking their status while I tried to find something else that could capture my attention as readily as Ao3 does. The moment it began to work again I started downloading some of the completed works from my bookmarks. During the time that the site was on again and off again I managed to download 51 fanfics, I counted. And while I was waiting to see if it would load so I could download 1 more I decided to add up the pages. I had time and little to occupy it with. Over 12,500 pages of pdf saved fanfics. And yet it still doesn’t feel like enough. I sit here, still thinking of several more. I can recall titles and plots and whole separate fandoms of works that I did not reach in time. I feel like a librarian watching Alexandria burn, bringing with me what I could reach. I can taste the words on the smoke that fills the air, my fingers are stained with ink and soot. I downloaded what I could in the hopes that I may feel secure, to appease my memory because I feared I’d lose the very thing that brought me joy. Over 12 thousand pages, and I can only feel dread.
Me a supposed writer that has never written anything public in my life when I can't find a fanfic thats pacific to the random scenario I thought of at 3:00am: Am I- am I just supposed to wright it myself??? 🤨🤨🤨
she cuddles her blahaj every night, and she should cuddle ME