Fainting - Tumblr Posts

Because I ADORED the last Greatest Showman fic you wrote (actually ADORED IT), what about one where Phillip’s still training under Phineas (before Phineas beebops out lol) and he’s been complaining that it’s too cold all day even though it’s not and passes out mid-rehearsal and Phineas kind of calmly freaks out?

Omg you are too kind, I adore you so much!  This kinda became it’s own monster, I really clicked with it when I was writing so here you go!

If Phineas was honest, he thought he would never understand high fashion.  He hadn’t understood it when he was poor, and now that the circus had taken off, he still didn’t understand it.

“How can you wear that?”  Phineas huffed, staring at his new young protégé.

Phillip frowned at him, unconsciously adjusting the long sleeves of his shirt.  “What do you mean?”

“That outfit.”  Phineas said. “I’ve seen Christmas presents with less wrappings than you.”

“I’m just cold, P.T.”  Phillip rolled his eyes good-naturedly.  “Unlike one of us, I won’t be doing my office work ten minutes before we send it out.  I think the heater in the office is out, it’s rather chilly.”

Phineas frowned, he hadn’t thought it had been that cold when he had gone in there that morning, but he supposed Phillip was in the office more often than he was.  While the stage was where they both truly belonged, Phillip had a bit more to learn about the behind the scenes so he often stuck Phillip with more of the office work so the man could get a feel for them if Phineas suddenly couldn’t handle it.

“Put another heater on the list of expenses then.”  Phineas replied.  “Wouldn’t want our resident overdramatic to freeze.  Nor you.”

Phillip nodded with a small smile, as if barely allowing himself to laugh at the joke.

When he’d first recruited the young man, he’d promised to give Phillip opportunities to laugh a little, and he hadn’t realized at the time exactly how much the young man hadn’t laughed in all his life.  If Phineas hadn’t married Charity, and understood a bit of the life she’d left to come live with him, he’d have been worried that Phillip couldn’t laugh, no matter the joke.

“Hey, P.T.!”  Charles’s voice caught Phineas’ attention.  “You got a minute?”

“Be right there!”  Phineas called back.  “You got it from here?  Rehearsal’s in an hour.  You’re gonna practice in my place today, remember?”

“I’ve just got some paperwork to finish up.”  Phillip nodded, holding the very manifest he’d come down to ask Phineas for.  “Once I get through with this, we’ll be done for the next couple days so long as everything comes in on schedule.”

Phineas nodded and headed over to where Charles was.  The problem had been a simple one, the leather aspect of the stirrup Charles used to get on his horse had torn, and needed to be repaired before Charles fell off the horse.  Phineas got the leather repair kit, and set to work.  He’d worked with leather nearly all his life, whether it was with his father for someone else’s riding clothes or repairing what little he had on the railroad, so the work was familiar, calming to him.  To be honest, most of what was on his mind went quiet as he worked, setting the glue, painting the stain, and everything else needed to make sure Charles was in no danger.

“All right, that should do it.”  Phineas said, and then realized Charles hadn’t been waiting for him as he expected.

He sought out the dwarf and found him sitting with W.D., Anne, and Lettie.

“The stirrup is fixed but don’t put any weight on it for a little while.”   Phineas said, joining them easily.  “I put the other one on, the one that’s not as well-painted.  We can use that for rehearsal until the glue fully dries.”

“You know you could’ve just bought me a new one.”  Charles said, a snarky smile on his face.

“Perhaps, but with my taste, I might not have had enough money to pay you when I was done.”  Phineas shot right back, with an easy smile.

Charles and the others laughed.

“Aw, hell, come on, we’re gonna be late for rehearsal.”

They headed into the main ring, where just about everyone was gathered.

“Anyone seen Phillip?”  Phineas asked.

Lettie easily pointed to the stairs Phillip was descending.  This time, though, he came down with a scarf Phineas hadn’t seen earlier.

“You don’t look so hot.”  Phineas said, taking in the pink cheeks and slight shivers across Phillip’s skin.

“Not hot.”  Phillip replied.  “Cold.”

“Still that cold, huh?”  Phineas sighed.

Phillip nodded, and Phineas could’ve sworn he could see the poor boy’s teeth chattering.

“Come on!”  Phineas clapped his hands together.  “You just need to dance for a bit, you’ll work up a sweat in no time.”

Phillip reluctantly parted with the scarf and everyone fell in line for rehearsal.

“And a-five, six, seven, eight!”

Phineas easily led rehearsal warm-ups, so everyone could get adjusted.

“All right!  Phillip, come take center stage up here with me!”  Phineas called, feeling his blood thrum with the thrill of choreography. He’d never known how good he was until the circus, only dancing with Charity and his girls.  And now he was going to teach Phillip.

Phillip’s pink cheeks joined him.

“You all right, Phillip?”  Phineas asked, lowering his voice.

“I’m fine, P.T.”  Phillip replied.  “Still just working off that frost.”

Phineas nodded.

Phineas then started to explain the steps to Phillip, using more movement to show the young man.  He had Phillip copy his routine, with the others dancing around them in time, and Phineas watched his footwork like a hawk.  There was something off, something Phineas couldn’t place.  He was sure after all this time, that Phillip would’ve gotten warmer, this couldn’t have been from a cold office.  But Phillip hadn’t asked for a break, hadn’t asked anything, except for Phineas to repeat a couple of tricky moves.

“And when you turn, I want you to turn and I want you to face me, so don’t turn left, turn right, all right?”

He hoped Phillip was nodding because their backs were turned. As Phineas turned left, Phillip turned right, and stumbled.

“Phillip?”

Phineas had barely gotten the word out before Phillip’s eyes rolled back in his head and his knees buckled, sending Phillip crashing to the ground.

“Phillip!”

Immediately, Phineas knelt down beside the boy, and his hands found Phillip’s throat.  While he found a pulse, he found a heat that sent a cold chill down his spine.  He forced down the panic threatening to overpower his mind, and swallowed hard.

“I’m taking him to our office, someone get some water, cold water.” Phineas ordered, his voice steadier than his heart beating itself out of his chest.  “I’ll also need a thin blanket, thin, and some cloth the size of a handkerchief.  Rehearsal is cancelled for the day, I’ll let you all know when we’ll start again, and can someone please send a telegram to my wife?”

Organized chaos ensued, as his circus followed his instructions, but he tried not to notice, focusing only on the rise and fall of Phillip’s chest. He grabbed Phillip around the back and knees, lifting him into his arms, with Phillip’s head resting on his shoulder. The heat that poured off of Phillip’s skin unnerved him.  He wanted to scream, to run, to come apart and become hysterical just as the others were doing below him but he couldn’t.  Phillip needed him calm and cool-headed, no matter how much panic was flooding his system.

When he got to the office, he stopped.  He couldn’t get the door open without his hands, and his hands were currently full of Phillip.  Thankfully, Charles had been right behind him and opened the door.

“Thank you, Charles.  Can you fetch the pillow Lord of Leeds uses for his stomach?”

Charles nodded and headed back down the stairs.

He set Phillip down on the couch, and started undoing the buttons on his jacket.  With how bundled Phillip was, he’d expected the office to be chillier than it was. Seems a new heater wasn’t truly needed on the expense list after all.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid, you should’ve seen it.”  He muttered to himself.  “You should’ve seen the signs.  Of course he wouldn’t stop, of course he wouldn’t ask for a break, you idiot.”

“Water coming up!”  Lettie’s voice was strong, and several footsteps entered his ears.

He turned and saw Anne, Lettie and W.D. coming up with water basins.

“One is cool, one is warmer, and one is for drinking.”  Lettie explained, pointing to each.  “Make sure to start with the warmer, to adjust him, then the cool.  We’ve got two more cold buckets coming.”

Knowing Lettie’s skills, he simply nodded and took the old cloth from Anne’s hands.

“We’re going to the telegraph office.”  W.D. said.  “Anything in particular you want to say?”

“Tell Charity what happened, that I’ve got a handle on it, but I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”  Phineas said, dipping the cloth into the basin.  “And tell her I’m not sure if she should come, because the girls will want to come and I’m not sure that would be a good idea.”

W.D. nodded, and placed his hand on his sister’s shoulder.  The siblings exchanged looks, before Anne nodded, heading out with a promise to be back soon.

He wrung it out and placed it on Phillip’s forehead.  Phillip moaned, his eyes opening slightly.

“Phillip?”

Phillip’s eyes were glassy and unfocused, but they managed to hold contact with Phineas.

Phillip’s mouth moved but nothing came out but a small, wordless sound.

Phineas pulled the drinking basin to him, taking the cup from Lettie, and scooped some water into the cup.  He put the cup to Phillip’s lips, unable to trust him to see the water in front of him, but Phillip’s lips parted and he was able to drink a bit of water.

“Phillip, can you hear me?”  Phineas tried again, setting the cup aside.

“I hear.”  Phillip breathed.

Phineas smiled slightly in relief.  “That’s it.  Phillip, how long have you been feeling sick?”

“Not sick.”  Phillip slurred.  “Just cold. So cold.”

“I’ve got the pillow and blanket.”  Charles came in, shoving the pillow at Phineas in his haste.

Phineas easily slipped the pillow underneath Phillip’s lax body, and then dipped another cloth in the warmer water.

“No, too cold.”  Phillip’s uncoordinated hand swatted at the cloth, though he got nowhere near taking it from Phineas’ hands.  In that moment, Phineas was eternally grateful that Lettie knew what she was doing, anything colder and Phillip might’ve been caused actual pain.

“No, Phillip, you’re too hot.”  Phineas tried, mopping some of the sweat off his neck and face.  “You have a fever.”

“No, no, can’t get sick.”  Phillip murmured, lost in the throes of the fever.  “Steps, new steps, have to learn, have to impress him, can’t disappoint.”

Phineas bit his lip, and took a glance toward Lettie and Charles.

“We’ll check on the water, see how it’s coming along.” Lettie offered, taking the thin blanket from Charles and setting it beside the couch.  “Maybe we should wait for anything colder, wait until his system adjusts to the cooler water.”

Phineas nodded, grateful for their discretion.  Phillip knew them well, and while they were friends, they all knew he wouldn’t want them seeing him like that.

“Perhaps one of you could fetch a doctor?”  Phineas called as they left.  “His fever is so high, we’ll need medicine, I don’t think this will be enough.”

Lettie nodded, and closed the door.

“Phillip, my boy, you didn’t disappoint me.”  Phineas muttered.  With the skill of a father taking care of a sick child, forcing down memories of a scared child taking care of a sick father, he got Phillip fully undressed, save for his undershorts, and placed the blanket over Phillip’s shivering, searing skin.  “You’ve never disappointed me.”

“No, no.”  Phillip shook his head back and forth jerkily, as if unable to control his own body. “Can’t let him down, can’t disappoint, can’t get sent away.”

“Hush, Phillip, shh.”  Phineas whispered, gently stroking the sweaty hair of the young boy.  “It’s alright, I won’t send you away.   You’re not going anywhere.  You belong here at the circus.  With us.”

“Phin?”  Phillip’s voice was so soft, so small it nearly broke Phineas’ heart in half.

“Yeah, it’s me, Phillip.”  Phineas gently cupped Phillip’s cheek.  “I’m here, I’m not leaving you.”

“’M sorry.”  Phillip slurred, his eyes watering.  “Didn’t mean to ruin rehearsal.”

“You didn’t ruin rehearsal.”  Phineas ran his thumb up and down Phillip’s cheek, catching a couple errant tears.  “You’re sick, it happens to us all.  It’s not a big deal.”

“Big deal.”  Phillip murmured.  “Wanted to impress you.  Work needed to get done.”

“Hush, Phillip.”  Phineas said, letting a bit of his Dad voice slip through.  “Nothing is more important than your health.  Getting sick isn’t disappointing me, you simply need a few days to rest.  Nothing more. It’s nothing worth getting upset over.”

He hoped he was saying the right things, that Phillip would remember this when his fever broke, because he’ll admit, he was a little out of his depth with Phillip.  While he considered Phillip to be close to him and his family, close to where his girls treated him like a new brother their father had brought home, to where Charity always seemed to make a bit extra food on the nights they had dinner so Phillip could take home some leftovers to make sure Phillip had good food in his pantry, there were still many pieces of Phillip that Phineas didn’t know.  Pieces that might make or break any conversation he might have here with the boy.

Phillip stared in shock at Phineas.  Phineas wasn’t quite sure if the boy was about to shove him away or burst into tears.

“Didn’t disappoint?”  Phillip’s voice was soft, small, like that of a child afraid of the dark.

“No, no, you could never disappoint me.”  Phineas said, taking a risk and collecting Phillip into his arms, tucking Phillip’s head into the crook of his shoulder.  “Not a day goes by where you don’t impress me, where I’m not incredibly grateful that I ended up finding you, that you agreed to come to the circus with me.  I have never regretted recruiting you, and every day I thank whatever higher power allowed you into my life.”

Soft gasps soon gave way to a flood of tears.  Phineas started stroking Phillip’s hair again, lightly dragging his nails every so often, trying to whisper words of comfort.

“It’s alright, Phillip, you’re alright, shh, you’ll feel better soon, I’m not leaving you, I’ll never send you away, shh, you’ll be alright, I promise.”

He wasn’t sure how long Phillip cried, but he didn’t mind. Phillip needed his shoulder and he’d have it as long as he needed it.

“Phin?”

Phineas paused.  “Yes, Phillip?”

“I feel terrible.”  Phillip’s voice held an undertone, one Phineas barely picked up on, where he was ashamed of admitting this weakness, but Phineas wasn’t sure if this was Phillip’s upbringing or because of the fever.  While he hoped it was the latter, there was little doubt in the rational part of his mind that it was the former.  “I don’t think I can finish rehearsal.”

“It’s alright, Phillip.”  Phineas said, resisting the urge to drop a kiss to Phillip’s sweaty curls as he would do one of his own daughters.  “The only rehearsal you need to practice at now is asking for help when you’re unwell.  And I intend to make sure that in the future you feel you can come to me if anything else happens again.  I’ll not abandon you to shoulder this alone.”

Phineas adjusted their position, to where Phillip was still tucked into Phineas’ shoulder but Phineas was more on the seat of the chair to ease the pressure on his knees and back.

“You’ll stay?”

“Always.”  Phineas admitted.  “Get some sleep, Phillip.  I’m not going anywhere.”

Will you please write more Phillip phump for the greatest showman? He's so pretty and I've just fallen head over heels in love with this movie, old as it is. Sorry to hear about work, I hope you stay safe and healthy! Your writing is beautiful and I'm so lucky to have found it! Have a good day ❤

Aw, thank you so much for the compliments, I love you!  I’m so sorry this is a bit late, nonny, but ask and ye shall receive! Here’s a short piece of Phillip getting some whump. Hope this everything you want.

------------------------------

He wished he could’ve said he noticed it.  He wished he could say that he knew immediately when Phillip started to slip up, that he caught it before it became too bad.  But he couldn’t.  He was too focused on his own problems to notice Phillip’s.  At least, until it was impossible not to.

Rebuilding the circus had been difficult.  Adapting all the routines into the three rings, relearning steps he knew blindfolded to fit with the new terrain, rebuilding all the burnt sets and bleachers, retraining the animals, the list went on.  It was so difficult, that Phineas had simply started sleeping in the office, as it was one of the easiest to rebuild, instead of always going to his in-laws because he would get home so late and have to leave so early in the morning.  Thankfully, Charity understood the need for the long hours to rebuild their life, and only requested him home on weekends, and Phillip could handle two days alone so it was a good compromise.  So every Monday he found himself on a very early train, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, and got to work at the circus.

He was surprised to see Phillip already working in the office when he came in.

“Good morning, P.T.”  Phillip said as he opened the door, not once looking up from his paperwork.

“Uh, morning.  Phillip.” Phineas said, surprised that his young appren-partner was already here.  “Did you go home at all last night?”

“Yes, I did.”  Phillip sighed.  “This is from the city.  Apparently, some clerk misplaced our last permit for the animals so I’ve got to do it all over again or we’re going to have problems.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  Phineas said.  “I could’ve helped.”

“It came after you left for the weekend.”  Phillip said.  “Besides, it’s not anything worth worrying about.  I can handle it.”

“Phillip, it’s just past dawn, it’s far too early for paperwork.” Phineas said, as he sat down in the office, his own pile of paperwork a daunting task he wished he could magic away. “If it’s not worth worrying about, then why are you here so early?”

“I had an idea for a new addition to the opening routine at like three in the morning.”  Phillip chuckled.  “So I decided to just get up, get my paperwork done so I could spend the rest of the day on my new idea.”

“What’s the idea then?”  Phineas asked, knowing the pain of having an idea at way to early in the morning.  Though, those were some of his greatest ones.

“A pulley system.”  Phillip said. “So we can get some of the dancers clear in the air.  If we place them right, the audience won’t see them and it’ll look like they can fly.”

Phineas smiled, loving the idea already.

Thursday, Phillip woke him after slipping into the office very quietly by lighting a candle by his desk.

“Phillip?”  He murmured.

“Oh, I’m sorry, P.T.  I didn’t mean to wake you.”  Phillip whispered, moving the candle so the light wouldn’t bother Phineas.

Phineas had meant to respond, to ask why Phillip was there while everyone else was asleep, but he fell asleep before he could.

Right before he left for home on Friday, he found Phillip asleep at his desk.

“Phillip?  Phillip!” He gently shook the young boy’s shoulders.

Phillip snapped awake.  “Anne!  Where’s Anne? Oh, P.T.”

“I think you need to go home, Phillip.”  Phineas chuckled.  “And take Anne with you, apparently.”

Phillip glared at him.  “It’s not like that.”

“Of course it’s not.”  Phineas winked.  Phillip groaned.  “Go home. Get some sleep.  Can’t have you falling asleep in the middle of rehearsal!”

He’d meant the words as a gentle tease, and quite forgot about them as he headed home.  His mind filled with thoughts of his girls, a nice home-cooked dinner, and a soft, warm bed that had a wonderful, loving wife in it.

So the next Monday, like clockwork, he kissed his sleepy wife goodbye, got on the early train, and headed to the circus.  He missed his girls dearly while he was away, but he needed to start making money so he could buy back their house.  So far, they were on track, but there was always a threat of someone else buying it to spite him, so he had to do what had to be done to give his girls back everything they deserved.

The walk to the circus had always been calming to him.  The sunlight stretched across the city, as if the city itself were slowly waking with him, few people roamed the streets so he could just feel the peace of the early morning.

The light was on in the office.  He frowned.  It wasn’t like Phillip to leave the light on.  He opened the door and found Phillip slumped over his desk with his head in his heads.

“Phillip?”

The boy’s head snapped up, and Phineas then saw the bags underneath his eyes, the tremors in the boy’s hands, the flush in his cheeks, the exhaustion Phillip obviously felt so deep in his bones.

“Oh, Phillip.”  Phineas pulled his chair over to Phillip’s desk.

“I’m fine, P.T.”  Phillip murmured slowly.

The fact that it took Phillip a moment to respond to him reinforced the worry in his mind.

“No, you’re not.”  Phineas whispered.  “Phillip, what’s happened?”

“Nothing.”  Phillip mumbled, rubbing at his red-rimmed eyes.  “Just had a lot of work to do.”

“You were almost done when I left this past weekend.”  Phineas frowned.  “I saw your desk, you didn’t have that much paperwork left.  Too much more paperwork couldn’t have come in over the weekend.”

“Look, P.T. I just didn’t get everything done, okay?”  Phillip snarled at him.

Phineas stared at him.  Phillip rarely got contrary, his proper upbringing prohibiting any outburst of emotion.

“Please, Phillip, talk to me.”  Phineas said, trying his best to sound soothing to the boy.  “You can tell me anything.”

Phillip sighed.  “I know, P.T. I know.  I’m sorry, I guess I’m just a little… irritable today.  It’ll pass.  I’m going to get some more water, all right?  I can make us some coffee, hopefully that’ll help.”

Phineas nodded, and watched with concern as Phillip stood on shaky legs as he put the kettle on to boil.

“Here, I can do that-”

“I don’t need your help, P.T.”  Phillip snapped.  “I’m fine, I can manage on my own.”

Phineas closed his mouth so sharply his teeth clacked together.

“Phillip.”  Phineas said, unable to keep the hurt out of his tone.

Phillip turned to him, remorse already filling his red-rimmed eyes.

“P.T. I’m sorry, I just… I-”

Phillip’s eyelids fluttered dangerously and his body began to sway.

“Phillip?”

Fear gripped his heart as Phillip’s eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed to the floor.

“Phillip!”

Phineas was out of his seat in an instant, gently rolling Phillip into his arms.  He shook his shoulders, tapped the boy’s cheek, frowned, then placed his hand across Phillip’s forehead.  He grimaced at the heat radiating off the boy’s skin.  He then gathered up the young man into his arms, with Phillip’s head tucked into his shoulder.

Phillip moaned quietly as Phineas set him on the couch.

“Come on, Phillip, open those eyes for me.”  Phineas muttered.

But Phillip’s eyes remained closed.

Phineas bit his lip, and sighed forcibly.  So he cupped a hand under Phillip’s neck, and pulled him forward so he could get his suit jacket off.  He got him out of his vest and tie, and then unbuckled his suspenders and undid the buttons on his shirt.

“Phin?”  Phillip murmured, staring blearily up at him.  “What’s going on?”

“Here, lay back down.”  Phineas guided the boy back down.  “I was hoping you could tell me why you collapsed with a fever.”

Phillip frowned.  “I didn’t think it had gotten that bad.”

“So there is something wrong?”  Phineas sighed, pulling a chair up to the couch.

Phillip looked away from him.

“Phillip, please.”  Phineas said, unable to push down the urge to thread his fingers in Phillip’s sweaty curls. “Something’s off, has been off for a while. What’s going on?”

“I haven’t been sleeping.”  Phillip unconsciously leaned into Phineas’ fingers.

“For how long?”  Phineas asked.

“Since…”  Phillip trailed off, sheepishly pressing his lips together with a slight tremor, a bit of color tinting his cheeks.

“Since?”  He prompted.

“The fire.”  Phillip admitted, eyes brimming with unshed tears.

“The fire!  Oh, Phillip.” Phineas pulled Phillip into a hug, clutching the boy with all he had.

Phillip tried to pull away weakly, but Phineas held him fast and heard a couple choked sobs, as if trying to hold himself back, before the poor boy broke down fully into tears.

“I’m sorry, Phin, I’m so sorry, I try not to let them bother me, I really try, but they keep coming and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get away from them.  I keep dreaming that Anne is trapped and I can’t get to her, or that I can still hear Lettie screaming inside, that W.D. is dead, that Anne is dead, that you’re dead, and I can’t get to you.  I keep dreaming I’m still trapped under that beam, that I’m burning, and I can’t get out.  It feels like every night I’m trapped in that fire, every night I wake up screaming, and I can’t take it!  I just want to be strong, Phin.  Everyone needs me, you need me, and I want to be strong for you but I can’t anymore! Oh God, Phin, I, I, I just want it to stop!”

His heart broke for the child in his arms.  A few tears of his own slipped out as he clutched Phillip to his chest, gently rocking back and forth.  He found himself whispering small comforts, trying his best to reach the crying boy in his arms.  He wasn’t sure how long Phillip cried, but eventually, Phillip’s sobs subsided to shuddering breaths.

“Does Anne know?”  Phineas asked after he was sure Phillip had calmed somewhat.

Phillip shook his head.  “I couldn’t do that to her.  She already blames herself for me getting hurt for going in after her, I can’t hurt her like that.  She’s already been through so much, just for me.  I can’t hurt her again, I just can’t.”

Phineas sighed.  While he could understand Phillip’s situation, it meant Phillip was facing these night terrors alone.  And he wasn’t going to have that.

“Phillip, I need you to know something.”  Phineas said solidly.

“What?”  Phillip looked up at him with a young, heartbroken, tear-stained face and it nearly broke Phineas’ heart again.

“No matter what time it is, no matter when this happens, I need you to know you can come to me.”  Phineas said, and when Phillip opened his mouth to protest, he quickly continued, “No, Phillip, I mean it.  I don’t care what time it is, if you’re going to come here anyway, you’re going to wake me up so I can help you.”

“P.T. I- I can’t-”

“Yes, you can.”  Phineas said. “We’re partners now, remember?  We split everything fifty-fifty.  If you’re not sleeping, I won’t sleep right alongside you.”

Phillip’s eyes welled up with tears again and he ducked his head into Phineas’ shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”  Phillip mumbled.

“It’s alright, son.”  Phineas murmured, dropping a kiss into Phillip’s hair.  “Now I certainly think it’s time for you to get some sleep. Don’t worry about rehearsal today, I’m sure Lettie can handle it for today.”

“Lettie?”  Phillip muttered.  “P.T. you can-”

“I’m not leaving you like this, Phillip.”  Phineas said, allowing his voice to slip into his Dad tone. “You need rest, and you’re ill. The circus can survive without us for a day or two.”

“I… suppose I am tired.”  Phillip whispered, as Phineas gently pushed Phillip back down on the couch.

Phineas couldn’t stop the soft smile across his face at Phillip’s acquiesce.

“Sleep, Phillip.  I’ll be right here.”

Phillip’s eyes fluttered closed, and Phineas began to stroke the young man’s hair once more, watching Phillip’s breath become even.

One time at a theatre practice I was about to black the fuck out because

1. Fainting disorder and

2. Hadn’t eaten for like 2 days

and my drum major (who was also in the musical) was sitting outside with me with an ice pack on my forehead and he started interrogating me about my eating habits 😞😞 I WAS LIKE WTF???? AND EVERYTIME I HAVENT EATEN HE JUST FUCKING KNOWS??? Scariest shit of my life bro I just needed to tell someone that

Slashers w/ a S/O that looses consciousness throughout the day

Jason Voorhees:

This boi will loose his shit when he hears a thump next doors. He rushes over to your side in an instant and when he sees you laying on the floor, he immediately reacts. He will carry you to your shared bed and watch over you until you wake up.

Please wake up soon, this precious boy can't handle too much stress.

Though his mother tells him to calm down and check up on you, he still is hella nervous and scared that you maybe won't wake up.

When you do, he brings you into a bear hug, nearly crushing the life out of you.

After that, he demands an explanation of what happened. And you explain that you've had it for the past 3 years, but didn't dare to tell Jason. (Or just forgot cause thats something that would happen to me with my flamingo brain:'))

He will constantly hover over you, making sure that you're okay. And if you need something, he'll get it for you. No exception. Even if you tell him that it isn't necessary, he will do it anyways. Because he loves you and doesn't want you to faint and then accidentally hit your head.

Michael Myers

Michael hears the low thud from the kitchen, and looks over. You were cleaning dishes from breakfast when you lost consciousness.

He walks over to the kitchen, just to see you passed out on the floor, with a bleeding nose.

Without a second thought he lifts you up in his strong arms and turns the water off, cause bills n stuff. He carries you over towards the couch in the living room and puts a cold flannel on your forehead and a tissue on your nose to whipe away the blood.

When you wake up, Michael checks you over again, looking for injuries, then he'll take your hand in his large one and look at you with a stern look, demanding an explanation.

After you explain to him, he, like Jason, won't leave your side. He'll watch over you and make sure he can catch you when you faint before you hit the ground.

His possessiveness and overprotectiveness would just grow towards you. And good luck with that cause now you ain't going anywhere alone anymore.

Bubba

You were with him in the basement, watching him craft new masks when you suddenly sacked together and nearly fell off the high bench.

Bubba managed to catch you just in time and whined when you didn't react. He carries you upstairs to your room and lay you down. He'll watch over you and wait till you wake up.

Once you do, he nearly strangles you in a bear hug, holding you close to his chest and not letting go for solid 5 minutes.

You tell him that it's alright and that you're fine. Then you explain to him.

After that, he won't let you go out alone. Afraid that you could faint in the texan heat and maybe some travelers will pick you up and take you with them away from him.

So you got your own Guardian with you all times.

Thomas Hewitt

You and Thomas were checking the traps when you suddenly fainted. He immediately picked you up and brought you back to the house.

Luda Mae took care of you, while Thomas hovered in the back, stressing himself with the possibilities of what could happen. Maybe you were dying, maybe you were already dead. Poor boy.

But after Luda Mae reassured him that you were alright, he calmed down. So, he waited for you to wake up. After about half an hour you stirred and fluttered your eyes open.

As soon as he saw that, he tackled you into a bear hug, burrying his face into your neck.

After that he looks you dead in the eye, demanding an explanation. So you do.

He will NOT let you out alone anymore. Even the others still keep an eye on you when Thomas is out.

Be ready for cuddles when you faint and wake up again. Cause the boi needs love, so give him all the love you have.

Freddy Krueger

He hears the thump from your room and goes to investigate it. Then he sees you. At first hes amused, then he realizes that you aren't playing with him.

He picks you up and brings you to your bed, waiting and wondering why the frick you fainted.

When you woke up, he immediately started "What the fuck was that?"

(He's pissed cause he cares about you;))

After you explain to him, he'll keep a close eye on you, checking if you're okay, if you need something or if you are hydrated.

It's sorta cute how much he cares about you. And you tell him. But he waves it off, hiding his bright blush under his hat.

The boi is so blushy

Any man could walk into a doctor’s office with the exact same symptoms as me and any doctor would be falling all over themselves trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong. The words “it’s just anxiety” would never even cross their mind.

But I, a woman, walk through that door and that asshole ignores all my abnormal test results, all my concerns, refuses to even consider the obvious diagnosis that my regular doctor (a woman) as well as multiple family members who are doctors and nurses all agree it likely is. Because “it’s really popular in the internet right now and I think it’s overdiagnosed. You’re just getting anxious because of that.”

BECAUSE THERES MORE INFORMATION NOW AND PEOPLE ARE FINALLY GETTING A FUCKING DIAGNOISIS YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! On top of that fact that a lot of people who had covid and got over it are ending up with it! I know what a fucking anxiety or panic attack feels like moron. This ain’t that! I’m literally passing out all the time that is not because of my anxiety. But it makes me pretty fucking anxious to worry if I’m going to randomly pass out while I’m out in public alone.

He literally almost made me pass out in his office while doing his own version of a tilt table test and I kid you not, looked me up and down, stared at my thick thighs for an extra few seconds (I was in shorts and already self conscious) scoffed, and told me I just need to do some squats and lunges and that will fix all my problems.

Wow! Thankyou! You cured my feinting and my atrial fibrillation! You told a girl who is extremely physically active every day all day to do a few squats. I’m sure that’s magically going to fix everything.

I wanted to cry or scream at him by the time I left I was so frustrated.

I drew a humanized Thomas sketches in two papers for three months ago.

Painting and sketch of Bob the Builder

I've made a painted picture and a sketch of Bob the Builder in his white shirt with blue collar and sleeve lines.

There were five of them on this sketch:

Bob in his construction outfit

Bob in his pyjamas due to one of his illnesses

Bob with a nasal cannula, which helps him with his breathing

Bob in a hospital gown while he's in his unconsciousness

Bob's difficult breathing in an incident while fixing the robotic picker arms at Roland's warehouse

Left: Sad faced Bob in his hospital gown - 3rd March 2022

Right: Sketch of Bob the Builder fanfic - 3rd March 2022

🇺🇦 1st Sketch of Servant of the People 🇺🇦

I'm finally creating a sketch of Vasily Petrovich Goloborodko from Servant of the People. It consisted of his poses and facial gestures.

It's among of the characters' sketches for an upcoming soap opera black comedy fanfic "Dear, United Kingdom".

Smiled face

Eyes straight right and looked behind him with open mouth

Sleeping with closed eyes and a saliva sliding out of his mouth

Shaking body and foaming mouth while having an epileptic seizure

Calmly resting body with tired face

Eyes closed tiredly with spinning head and both arms grabbed by two of his friends

1st Painting of Dear, United Kingdom

I've made the first painting of the new soap opera comedy fanfic Dear, United Kingdom. This is Vasily Petrovich Goloborodko from Servant of the People, who is an official for a Ukrainian Embassy in London and the former President of Ukraine.

Vasily Petrovich Goloborodko from Servant of the People (In his returned epileptic seizure at the pub) - 21st February 2023

After drinking and hanging out with his friends at the pub, Vasily's mouth began to foam as he fell down on the floor from his wheelchair and took off his nasal cannula from his nose while having an epileptic seizure in the disabled people's toilet.

Beginning | Previous | Next

Or

Or

C is just as exhausted as A is and they're acting like that because they're too stubborn to admit how unwell they feel.

Character A is stuck with C, who is not their usual caretaker (Perhaps Caretaker B is away on business) when they get sick. They can already tell it’s going to be a pretty bad time, but C is less than sympathetic. “You’ll be fine, just take a nap and a Dayquil and tough it out! We’ve got work to do! Stop whining!” 

Eventually A stops mentioning how awful they feel. C assumes that means they’re getting better, if they’re not bringing it up. Until they find A passed out on the bathroom floor, boiling hot from their fever. 

(Bonus points if B finds out what happened and rushes home early – not just to nurse A back to health, but to rip the repentant C a new one.)

can i ask if you can make something with san and fainted reader like she is exhausted or maybe pregnant?? hehe idk it's up to you. i think it might be sooo cutee like fluff + angst 🥰 (i read the drunk with mingi and it's soo cutee 🤧🤧 i love re reading it!! and i love your writing style, keep going ily 🩷🩷🩷)

warnings: very soft angst, fluff, pregnant reader, fainting, hurt 2 comfort, 0.6k wrds author's notes: you're so sweet to me omg??? thank you baby ly2!! masterlist

you're sitting on the edge of your bed, lost in thought while gently caressing your baby bump. the anticipation of your baby's arrival has been building for seven months, making your belly feel pretty heavy. suddenly, your quiet moment with your unborn child is interrupted by san entering the room, carrying a big bowl of cut-up fruits. you turn to look at him, and his eyes are filled with so much love that you feel like you're floating.

he sits down cross-legged in front of you, flashing that adorable eye-smile you love so much. placing the bowl of fruit next to him, he takes one of your bare feet in his hand and starts massaging your calf.

"you know, you don't have to do this every night, san," you chuckle, teasingly.

"but the doctor said so! you won't be able to walk tomorrow if i don't do this," he sulks, as if he's the one suffering from pregnancy-induced swollen ankles. you can't help but giggle at his playful fussing, which elicits an exasperated smile and a slight shake of his head from him.

once he finishes, he heads to the bathroom in your bedroom to wash his hands, and you sigh in relief at the ease in your feet. your attention then turns to the bowl of delicious fruits on the floor in front of you.

as san returns from the bathroom, you both reach for the fruit bowl at the same time. however, as you stand up, you suddenly feel lightheaded, and the background noise from the tv fades away. before you know it, your knees give out, and you start to fall, but san rushes over and catches you just in time.

you wake up a few seconds later, meeting san's shaky gaze, his brows furrowed with worry. with a dopey smile, you greet him, "hey handsome."

"baby, are you okay?" he stammers, cradling your head gently with his hand, his eyes searching your face for any sign of discomfort. "i—i thought you were fine just a second ago—"

"san."

"i thought—i need to call the doctor—"

"san, can you please calm down? you're giving me a headache," you say, trying to soothe his anxiety. he immediately falls silent, his big, doe-like eyes looking down at you with concern, his beautiful brown irises swimming with worry.

"i'm alright. remember, the doctor said this could happen? you were there, and you cried in the car, you big baby," you playfully remind him.

san chooses not to respond and just embraces you tightly, holding you close without putting pressure on your belly. you're about to tease him, but you stop when you feel his shoulders shaking against you. softly stroking his back, you reassure him, "i'm okay, sanni. everything's fine, even she is," and you place his hand on your stomach, so he can feel your daughter kicking against the skin. he doesn't lift his head from the crook of your neck, but you can sense his sniffles. his touch is gentle on your nightgown, his thumb twitching every time he feels a thud.

"san as much as i love your hugs, i'm craving the fuck out of a kiwi right now," you say with a smile, attempting to lighten the mood.

he chuckles softly against your shoulder before helping you up and tucking you back into bed. he plants a small kiss on your forehead before reaching for the forgotten fruit bowl on the floor. settling down beside you, he pulls the bowl out of your reach when you try to grab a piece of kiwi.

"lemme feed you."

AH!

OZZIE! How dare you(please don’t stop)! I’ve barely been able to function all day and then I see THIS?! Two fucking paragraphs and I am but a puddle on the ground 😭😭😭

18+ mdni

breath play with Marcus Acacius where, while fucking you, he lays his heavy, brute body down, compressing your lungs and stealing your air while depravedly watching you struggle to come on his cock.

“Oh, how sweet you look writhing beneath me." Marcus darkly hums while taming your flailing, frantic hands with one meaty paw. He spears his cock even further into your heat, cruelly kissing the deepest part of you as a practiced thumb roughly circles your clit. "If you want to taste air again, I suggest you listen to your General and come."

Ahhhhh!! It’s my very first story! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time lolol. I had a creepy stalker vamp idea the other day and here we are! I usually write stories with male vamps and female humans, but boi on boi action got the best of me this time. This is also (I think?) the first story that I don’t use actual names for the characters. I actually prefer it like this, it just adds more spookiness! Anyway, I rly hope that someone will read this and enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :3

Btw this story contains some explicit themes (knives, blood, stalking, etc) so make sure to check the tags before reading!

Aura

“Sup, bro!”

I can already see my two friends waving and yelling at me from a distance. I haven’t been out much lately, but they happen to be very persuasive. So here I am, running towards them, thinking I’d be late otherwise. I finally reach them, gasping for some needed fresh air. “Dude, why were you even running?” one of them decided to ask.

“I’m-Sorry-Missed-Bus-.“ I can barely breathe, but try to utter some words regardless. “Yeahhhh, whatever you say man. Anyway, you ready to take off?” Air has finally returned to my lungs and breathing seems to go smoother now. I smile at them. “Yes, let’s go.” We continue our way forward, but something makes me look back over my shoulder. Not this again… Nothing’s there, but I can’t help but look anyway. “Hey, are you okay?” My friends have walked back to see why I stopped.

“I-I’m fine. Let’s just go.” I won’t hesitate to walk away from this feeling. The same feeling I’ve been having for a month, if not more. I can’t really explain it. It’s just like some dark aura is around me all the time. But whenever I look back, it’s like it was never there in the first place. I don’t dare tell anyone about it, what if they think I’m insane or something? So, I just forget about it whenever it happens. I will have to do the same now.

*a few days later*

There’s nothing else on TV, so I decided to watch some stupid show. It’s at season 8 and I honestly have no idea what’s happening, but I’m on the verge of falling asleep anyway. My eyes get heavier by the second. I hear a loud sound coming from the kitchen. I instantly get up, any sign of sleepiness now long gone.

While my heart is rapidly beating in my chest, I quietly walk towards the kitchen and prepare for the worst. Ready to throw hands, I jump in the doorway. But there’s nothing there. I could’ve sworn that the sound was like someone was in here with me. I check every single room in the house, but to no avail. No-one seems to be here. I really need to chill down. First the weird feelings, now this. I sigh deeply. I should probably just go to sleep.

*several weeks pass by*

Heavy plastic bag full with groceries in hand, I walk back to my apartment. Grocery shopping is one of the many things I hate in life, but I need to get food one way or another. Thank god my house isn’t that far from the store. I tend to get very hesitant about going outside most of the time, but the aura hasn’t been around at all the past few days. I was a bit confused at first as to why it had stopped so sudden, but I decided to just take it by heart and go on with my life. I’m glad that I don’t have to worry anymore. Ah, I can see my apartment already. I walk a bit faster, being a little too excited about the microwavable instant meal I get to eat when I get there.

Now upstairs, I open the front door and close it behind me. I quickly walk to the kitchen and drop the heavy bag on the counter. Phew, I made it. I quickly put the meal in the microwave, being unable to wait any longer. “Guess I’ll wait for it in the living room.” I say to myself.

“What the fuck?!” Going to the living room was a terrible idea. I nearly got a heart attack, seeing that a complete stranger is sitting down on my couch. Any person in their right mind would probably get out and call for help right now. But I can’t for some reason. It’s like I’m frozen in place. “Quiet it down please, Darling. We don’t wish to alarm anyone, now do we?” the stranger calmly says.

The man still remains seated on my couch. An emotionless expression present on his face. He seems to be around mid twenties, about the same age as me. I can’t help but take an observing look at him. Pitch black hair, the brightest blue eyes, clothed in all-black. His charisma is piercing through the tense atmosphere. He seems to be totally unbothered about his presence here. I, on the other hand, am not so happy about this entire situation.

I’m not sure whether his intentions are good or bad, but I’ve got a funny feeling that he’s not here to drink a cup of coffee with me. I need some kind of protection just in case he decides to attack me. The knife! I remember having left a knife on the counter, after opening the packaging of my food. I’m thinking about what’s the best way to get to the kitchen, never losing eye contact with the stranger during the progress. Alright, just run there, grab it, and be ready to defend yourself.

I take a short sprint towards the kitchen, knife already being in my sight. I reach out to it, but something unexpected happens. The stranger, who was seated in the couch just a second ago, now stands in front of me, holding the only object I’ve got within my reach to protect myself with. “H-How…?” I look at him, being shocked out of my mind. How did he get here so fast? That’s impossible. “Oh, Darling. You disappoint me ever so much.” the stranger sighs. What could possibly disappoint him right now?

“Why are you here.” It’s more of a statement than it is a question. “I get to meet you at last, but you seem to be unhappy about that.” he responds. At last? The gears in my brain finally catch up. It was him. That feeling, the aura. It was him following me all this time. Confusion mixed with a lot of anger take over my body. “Ah, my Darling gets it now. What a beautiful sight this is.” He really needs to get rid of that stupid smile of his, or I’ll wipe it off for him. “Why? Why the fuck have you been stalking me?” I spit. A dangerous glint of anger appears in his eyes. However, I will not back up now. I want answers. “I thought that you were different.” he says, through gritted teeth. “From who?”

“The other humans.” He’s comparing me to other… ‘humans’? “You see, you wanted to grab this knife here. To ‘protect’ yourself, I presume.” He brings the object close to my throat, now obviously dominating me. I gasp when the sharp blade touches my skin ever so slightly. “But not once did you give me a sign that you wanted to grab it. The others always showed that they wanted to make a run for it. How very foolish of them.” he says with a smile. “And you’re disappointed, because…?” My comment carries a lot of sass with it, but at this point I don’t care about the consequences. The stranger didn’t seem to mind, on the contrary, it made him burst out into laughter. “You have asked the two most infamous questions. ‘Why?’ and ‘how?’. It pisses me off.” he says, while still smiling. I seriously can’t read him. He’s exceptionally happy, even though I know that he’s very angry at me.

“You never answered.” I say. The stranger finally drops the knife on the counter, but doesn’t hesitate to take a step closer to me. “This is why I like you. You’re afraid, but trying so hard not to show me.” he says. “Do you have any idea who you’re dealing with?” He grabs my chin in between his thumb and index finger and lifts it up, forcing me to look at him. His eyes, which once were a beautiful blue hue, have now turned into the most spine-chilling dark red. Not to mention, he has now bared his teeth as well, showing me 2 pointy fangs. I’d be lying if I said that he doesn’t look extremely intimidating. “You know, the movies are all wrong. We don’t coexist with you humans. We kill you without mercy.”

“Y-You’re a v-vampire…?” I can’t help but stutter, fear is taking over me at last. “Obviously.” The stranger is glowing with pride. He probably loves scaring his prey like this. “Vampires aren’t real.” The air grows even more tense than it was before, if that’s even possible. “Trust me, Darling. I am very real. I can hurt you in more ways than you can imagine.”

“Then answer me this. Why me?” I really don’t want to piss him off even more now that I know what he’s capable of, but I have to know why. “I wonder why you’re so desperate to have an answer to that question.” I gather up all my courage to respond to him. “Like you said, you can hurt me in many ways. And that’s ultimately what you’re here for, isn’t it? You’re going to kill me. So my last wish is for you to answer me.” It’s quiet for a while. He just looks at me. After what seems like an eternity, he smiles. “I see.” Is all he decides to say. The smile never disappears. I feel like what I said provoked him even more.

“You know, now that I think about it, I have a much more fun idea in mind.” My unpleasant gut feeling seems to have been proven right. “Sorry, Darling. This is going to hurt.” I can’t say or do anything, or he has already taken yet another step towards me. He leans my head back and buries his fangs deep inside my neck. His actions are quick and eager.

I try to get him off me, but his grasp on me is too strong. These powers are definitely something inhuman. “Ngh!” Sounds of pure agony escape my mouth. A huge amount of blood is getting sucked out of my body. I can feel that I’m staring to lose consciousness. I reach for the knife on the counter, but it again fails to protect me. The man violently grabs my wrist to prevent me from harming him, and applies a good amount of pressure to it. I can’t help but drop the knife. It falls on the floor with a loud metal clink. He raises his head and looks at me. His red eyes are clearly visible.

“Tsk. Did you really think that you could do that?” He smirks at me. “You’re not going to get away with this.” He nonchalantly continues sucking my blood. “S-Stop it. P-Please…” I use every last bit of strength I have left to resist him, but soon after, my body gives up. My eyes shut themselves, but I can still feel the stranger lifting me up and exiting my apartment. It doesn’t take long for everything to go dark.

*???*

“…has been missing for 5 months now. He was last seen walking towards his apartment after being at the grocery store. The police has released pictures of blood drops and a knife on the floor in the victim’s apartment. ‘There is an obvious sign of struggle.’ one of the policemen states. They are currently investigating the crime scene and the blood samples are being researched at the laboratory. A highly praised detective is on this case as well. ‘To the people who did this: turn yourselves in, before we have to come find you.’ the detective said during an interview. If you have seen the victim or know someone who has, please call your local police station. Any information about the victim or the culprit is much needed. That was it for today’s news. We’ll be back tomorrow at 8 PM. For now, good evening everyone!”

Whumper lines #3

“I will never ever let you go.”

“You surely didn’t think that I’d let you escape, did you?”

“Found you.”

“Yes. Keep gasping for air.”

“Stop acting so tough.”

“Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“Aren’t you happy?”

“You sure got some nerve.”

“Stop struggling.”

“You don’t know what I’m capable of.”

“I said something about that, didn’t I?”

“How troublesome.”

“Don’t you remember?”

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“Don’t. Try. Me.”

“With that beautiful face of yours, you deserve nothing but pain, don’t you?”

“You fainted already? How boring.”

“I will punish you for that.”

“This will have great consequences.”

“You were wrong.”

“Just wait and find out then.”

“You shouldn’t think that you can escape from me.”

“Beg for me to stop.”

“Turn around and look at me. Now.”

“Let’s have some fun, shall we?”

“You won’t say anything like that anymore after I’m done with you.”

“That’s a good boy.”

“You asked for it.”

“Time to say goodbye to the world you once knew.”

From the Korean movie Beautiful Vampire

It’s whump. It’s Song Kang. It’s Song Kang getting whumped. *Silent screams*

Lord if he told me to run looking like that, I would run super slow so he could catch me😏♥️ Hard to be scared of him looking like that

Omg I really enjoyed the series,the songs were amazing 🔥and ofcs I had to draw alastor,I loved the scenes where he kept tilting his head 😆

disabled system asks: 1-4, 10!

1. Is your disability invisible, visible or both?

Both: invisible in the way that there appears to be nothing outwardly wrong with us (as doctors kindly keep reminding me) but visible in the way that we use mobility aids almost all the time. We wear a sunflower lanyard in public, and use a mixture of a cane, crutches and a wheelchair depending on the day.

I wish to add, as someone who has looked able bodied, and disabled in various fonts.. people don’t treat disabled people better if they’re in a wheelchair or visibly ill, and some are arguably worse to young wheelchair users.

2. Do you use mobility aids? If so, what for?

We do! As said above. We have a mixture of issues (ranging from endometriosis to POTS to hEDS to fibromyalgia) that create.. well, a mixture of issues XD. We’ll use the wheelchair on bad pain and fatigue days and carry the crutches.. or, on better days, just use the crutches to take some pressure off our knees, and aid as balance. As cool as our cane looks (photos later), we stopped using it as it was giving us pretty severe hip pain on one side from the way we had to lean to get support from it (still my fav visually though).

3. Is there a specific alter/part/headmate who fronts to deal with pain? How do they manage it?

Yes, that would be me. I split when we were very young to deal with injury, particularly blood. As our chronic pain increased, so did the amount of time I spent fronting, until I slowly became our most common fronter. Sucks though, cuz that was never meant to be my job, I was supposed to stay sitting on the sidelines only appearing to deal with first aid and other protector things. Instead, I’m here, and somehow I make it everyone else’s problem.

My appearance as most common fronter got us outed as a system because I’m so drastically different from the common fronters of the time. {its a little more complicated than that but you get the idea}

I manage it with a combo of pain killers (including medicinal CBD, THC, and flower, pregabalin, panadol, ibuprofen, codeine and morphine amongst other things… happy to answer questions about any of them if you’re curious), dissociation, weaponised tears and sheer fucking willpower… I wish I could say sheer fucking will was still working, but it is not very well anymore. There’s only so much one can deal with, and our pain has been getting steadily worse for the past few years with very little support (most of our illnesses have no cure, only management). We’ve reached the point where our doctors and specialists aren’t sure what to do with us and are wondering if there’s something they have missed…but uh, our tests, bloods and results are coming back clean. Looking into that at the moment lol.

4. Do you experience pain variety based on who’s fronting?

Oh hell, do we ever. Certain members of the system *cough* Kyle *cough* have dreadful pain tolerances - I always know when one of them is cocon because our pain skyrockets into impossible levels, even if I’m trying to keep it under control. Certain other members of our sys have average pain tolerances, some age regress to cope, others just curl up in a ball and sob.. depends on the alter - and the cyclical nature of parts of our pain make it difficult to manage, and to recognise how each alter is affected. Plus, it’s hard to compare pain tolerances when each of us have no other/barely any frame of reference.

10. Do you decorate your aids?

YES. We use a combination of spray paint, cheap nail polish, stickers and in the case of the wheelchair, holders designed for prams and bikes (water bottle holder, clips, bells, reflective stripes etc).. aids start out super boring and for us, decorating them and making them prettier is the only way to make them tolerable. And political - if the government is going to make our life into a political ‘issue’, we will turn right back around and make them aware of our existence ;)

the pic doesn’t grasp it very well, but we painted the chair’s spokes rainbow (and they look super cool when we’re driving it)

Thanks to @disabled-systems for the game <33

I finally finished the first part of my fic

I still have no idea what I’m doing

It hasn’t been edited by anyone yet

Toshinori should have known he would catch something from his students. It was the height of flu season and All Might had already seen many of the kids be forced to go home due to illness. Yet when Toshinori woke up one morning feeling with his muscles aching like he had spent more time as the symbol of peace than should have, and a slight sore throat, he just brushed it off as a normal bad day. He was fine, he definitely wasn't coming down with something, he was all might, and All Might didn't get sick. At least that’s what he told himself.

By the time Toshinori had returned to his apartment that night, all of his symptoms hadn’t gone away, but he assumed that they would go away with a good night's sleep.

Because he wasn't sick.

It was nothing.

He was fine.

All might realized that maybe he wasn't as fine as he thought when he'd woken up the next morning feeling just as bad as the day before but with the added problem that the it felt like the world had turned its AC on. But unfortunately the world of a hero didn’t stop just because one felt a bit off, and even though Toshinori was technically retired, pushing through bad days was basically his first response. And because he was retired, Toshinori placed his job of educating the next generation of heroes above his own health, because teaching was his only job now and that was more important to him than resting.

It took all might a while to realize that maybe coming in to work was not the best idea he'd ever had. It's wasn't just that his journey to UA felt about twice as long and definitely more painful than it probably should have. It wasn't his sudden inability to talk for more than two minutes without feeling like coughing up a lung. It wasn't even just the fact that he was slightly colder than he should have been. All of those he could brush off as just slightly more elevated versions of what he normally dealt with.

No, the thing that made all might start to realize he probably should be at home and made it hard to concentrate was the fact pretty much everyone, even his coworkers who knew about his usual health issues, had asked if he was ok. Even Aizawa, who Toshinori didn't expect to care. However despite the concern and the recommendations to see Recovery Girl, Toshinori stubbornly stayed at UA for the remainder of the day.

Because he’d fine.

He could deal with whatever this was was without bothering people.

He was sure.

All Might was less sure by the time he got back to his apartment at the dorms. The headache that had started around the middle of the day, had gotten worse to the point where it now felt like young Midoryia had decided to use his brain and inside of his skull as punching bag to practice smashes on.

He’d just set down his bag of papers that he needed to grade when his breathing hitched and he started coughing. He couldn’t even count the number of coughing fits he’d had that day. However this one felt much harsher than the previous ones, and it just kept going. He was vaguely aware that blood was going everywhere but at this moment his main concern was regaining his ability to breathe correctly . It took a while before his single lung stopped trying to make an appearance, and when it did finally stop, Toshinori was light-headed from lack of oxygen and black spots were dancing in his vision.

He was somewhat aware of the floor rushing up to his face before he blacked out.

I posted the thing I wrote to ao3

I’m starting to write chapter 2 of that sickfic

Also known as “what the heck am I doing with my life” part two

I’m trying

The first part is here