It's Hilarious - Tumblr Posts

oh my stars what chat is this??? I need to know

Also

Satan thinks he can make cat puns?

I literally have a whole barrage of them, his puns are nothing to me. NOTHING.

ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!! LOOK AT THIS NIGHTBRINGER CHAT!!

HOLY FUCKING OMD!! I DON'T EVER WANT ANYONE TO EVER SAY THAT SATAN ISN'T SOFT AND AN ADORABLE BABIE!! HE MADE A FUCKING CAT PUN TO A CAT!!!!!!!!!

I'M GONNA BE CRYING FOR THE NEXT 3-5 BUSINESS DAYS

limbus company is a wild game. you play as a nonbinary amnesiac who got their head cut off and responded by replacing it with a flaming wall clock, whose second job is to (ineffectually, at first) be the manager of a group of people on a bus and whose first job is to revive and heal them anytime anything happens, which is all the time. your party is comprised of a dour scientist who has a habit of speaking in poetry, a mysterious white haired genius implied to be in a constant mental discord call with different versions of herself across multiple universes, an autistic woman who named her shoes after a fictional horse and turns into an ancient and powerful vampire if they're ever taken off, a swordswoman who speaks a third of her mind in acronyms and loves to murder people "artistically", an autistic frenchman built like a fridge who refuses to be a person unless ordered to, a long haired rich pretty boy who accidentally pisses people off with his sheltered behavior half the time and pretends to be dumber than he is to purposefully annoy people the other half, a british thug whose entire plot could have been solved by just spitting it out and also turned into a wolf monster for a bit, a ginger who got bored of her office job and decided to get on a boat and hunt whales about it, a russian gambler whose mental health and self image are rapidly deteriorating while she is also getting progressively worse at hiding it, a young man who is really in over his head while also being very good at killing people who also is weirdly good at translating the earlier mentioned swordswoman's acronyms, a kiss-ass former military woman who would probably kill everyone else in the party if she thought she could get away with it, and a german former-soldier who got a mutant bug arm and intense ptsd and depression. there's also the all powerful guide who tells you where to go who is legally not allowed to be too helpful and is also perpetually sick of your shit, and the strange girl who drives the bus you all ride in without a license or a lick of training. also the bus looks like a train. add onto the fact that most of the characters and their backstories are references to classic literature, and you have what is possibly the world's MOST dysfunctional dnd party.

we love this fucking game.

So at work someone just brought up the Tide Pod thing as proof that kids these days are dumb and I pointed out the fact that the fad in the 1920′s was to swallow whole live goldfish (look it up, my grandparents told me about it years ago, it was a Thing.)

And of course some kids choked to death on live goldfish. 

He didn’t believe me until he looked it up on his phone. And then he was just quiet for a minute and said “Ok maybe people have just always done dumb shit” and the glow of victory is going to carry me until lunch. 

Update! My legs are still sore, but I was able to walk and I didn't fall!!

However, many other things did go wrong:

1- I was almost given the wrong colour of scarf/hood thing compared to the rest of my class. Instead of grey, I was about to get bright yellow because they read the list wrong (being at the bottom of the register sucks)

2- My parents arrived far later than I did and I almost wasn't able to give them their tickets to get into the ceremony (they were not as stressed about this as I was)

3- Because of the numbering system, my seat was in a completely different row to the rest of my class, so I had to sit at the end of a row by myself beside a stranger (once again, end of the register sucks)

4- When they were bringing people up row by row, my class all got up to go on stage, but my row wasn't allowed to. I thought I wasn't going to go at the same time as my class :'( Thankfully they looked at me and went "oh that's your class" and told me to go

5- They pronounced my name wrong :'(. There are arguments about how to pronounce my actual name and it's become a joke in class now because one of my teachers kept calling me the wrong thing and then it happened again today ahaha

6- I didn't fall on the stage, but I may have sped walked across lol. My parents said it almost looked like I didn't shake the person's hand I was walking that fast (I don't see this as a problem though lol)

7- I almost fell asleep during the ceremony ahaha. It was so long and warm in the room and there was no one to talk to so I almost dozed of lol

Despite all of that it was nice. I can now say that I have a ✨Bachelor's degree with honours!!✨

So I'm graduating tomorrow and I'm starting to think that going to circuits tonight was not the best idea ahaha

I may not be able to walk tomorrow \(•⌓•)/

      ❝ I NEVER SAID i don't love you. ❞ the baron should know by now exactly how carlisle feels for him, & so his anger does not dissipate with the obvious ploy for pity. if anything, it only runs hotter. ❝ it's like you don't even listen to me when i speak. i may as well discuss moral philosophy with a brick wall. you think you know everything one could possibly ever know already & that no one could possibly have a valid argument if it's from a viewpoint you don't want to consider. it's infuriating. you infuriate me. ❞ & yet, when he considers taking the suggestion & leaving, the idea is repellant to him. something nameless keeps carlisle here, an unseen tether compelling him to continue arguing with this man who he knows will never agree with him. for yet another long night just seems more bearable if they are together — even if they find themselves once again at each other's throats.

100  —  the chain  by  fleetwood mac - from @musecraft​ (carlisle) for baron

“ Go back to hiding in the shadows with your rats. Damn your lies. If you don’t love me now you have never loved me.”

as a future teacher I have a leg up on all the other uni students who haven't tutored 12 year olds for 2 years. BC I've already had them come to me with vocabulary such as "breed" and "alpha" and had to compose myself (before rushing out and getting my friend out of their own lesson in order for us to laugh our asses off in the hall for 5 minutes)

Ok, one more.

@yargui25ji makes these fake AO tweet vids and their funny as hell

A lil edit they made for grapefruit (talking to orange)

In conclusion

The duality of man

you know the friendship’s real when there’s a rumour you’re gay for each other

And they are flirting with each other the whole time, it's so obvious!

I’m really in love with both of the guys so far

I promise you the ending is not what you think it is lmao this is the best thing I’ve seen today

GUYS

HEY YOU GUYS

WATCH THIS

Saw this license plate today and I'm still ugly laughing about it

And thus begins the second fandom migration on your blog

Now I can beat your KJ fic in numbers ha ha!

the fact that you think you can surpass me is amusing

anyways read king's duty it's epic, cool people looooove my fic <3<3

Being in multiple fandoms is great

I mean, you get to read Branderson Sanderson fan conspiracies and theories about complicated magic and Hoid and shit.

And then when all the Investure, Connection, “OMG is this one character that’s barely mentioned somehow really important and relevant to the overarching plot?!” gets too complicated for your shitty-ass brain to process, you can just jump over to Undertale and Deltarune to make skeleton jokes.

And THEN when Sans’ backstory and Gaster shit gets too much, you can go enjoy random gay memes until you feel like going back into the Cosmere, and round and round it goes.

It’s awesome.

Twitter has removed headlines from news links resulting in posts like this

X life Joel with Lazybeans walked so Empires Season 2 Joel with Editor Joel could run

I like that song.

I have decided that blast to the past is canon in the 2012 TMNT universe. Idc that it's like a spin off movie or whatever. They made dino friends and they use the kraang portals to visit them sometimes.

why did my neighbors name their wifi network this