Mad Max Headcanons - Tumblr Posts
Of course you’d know she’ll be all smug and shit with the attention and love to make the older War Boys squirm with her weird knowing gaze as she take their bouquets because she fucking knows most of them have insane crushes on her but can’t do anything because obvs, they know her bite is even worse than her bark (hello, she BIT NUX for fuck’s sake) plus the fact that the Wives are untouchable unless they are the ones who show any interest with men. Thankfully all the thick white clay/paint the guys slather all over their faces hides their blushes. And as for the War Pups... The Dag just adores decorating them with floral garlands around their necks just to give them all a nice pop of color.
in relation to that headcanon of the war boys excitedly going apeshit watching the plants grow in the citadel... i'd like to imagine the dag being their enabler. like she'd hype them all up whenever there are new crops or when the buds of flowers are in the process of blooming and the war boys are JUST THERE crowding around the flower beds just watching the flowers open ever so slowly and the dag is standing off to the side looking so pleased with herself as she chants prayers under her breath.
Oh my god perfect
Dag teaching a big group of pups how to grow stuff for the first time
Pups making flower crowns and giving them to her, older boys making bouquets and shoving them at her while trying to look surly and not blush
And you know that shit will get HELLA real when The Dag publically announces that the Citadel can now grow FRUITS.
Just.
Total.
Chaos.
And the War Boys have a particular obsession with lemons because they smell nice, they produce this strange liquid that tastes rather interesting, and the eye-watering color reminds them of their eccentric earth mother who they swear they don’t have a crush on but obvs they totes do.
She pretends not to notice their fondness for lemons, but it secretly amuses her. Anyway, the Dag prefers to make her gaggle of adorable War Pups happy by feeding them blueberries which gives their mouths their characteristic dark stain but without the toxicity that spraying chrome gives.
in relation to that headcanon of the war boys excitedly going apeshit watching the plants grow in the citadel... i'd like to imagine the dag being their enabler. like she'd hype them all up whenever there are new crops or when the buds of flowers are in the process of blooming and the war boys are JUST THERE crowding around the flower beds just watching the flowers open ever so slowly and the dag is standing off to the side looking so pleased with herself as she chants prayers under her breath.
Oh my god perfect
Dag teaching a big group of pups how to grow stuff for the first time
Pups making flower crowns and giving them to her, older boys making bouquets and shoving them at her while trying to look surly and not blush
And amidst the prank wars of their kids... Endless shots of Dad Max facepalming in frustration lmfao
So I have this hankering headcanon where Nux and Slit and Angharad and Capable and Toast and Cheedo and the Dag are all troubled foster teens in various ages taken in by Momperator Furiosa and Dad Max Rockatansky and it's like a crazy but lovable dysfunctional foster family where the boys execute panty raids on the girls and the girls hoisting the boys shit-stained undies with their names on it atop the school flagpole. It's a never ending cycle of friendly one-upmanship between them haha!
Omf babes
Prank wars are best
The girls put worms in the boys’ beds so they retaliate by replacing all their music with Never Gonna Give You Up
OMFG BABES.
Your anon followers are really killing it lately with these headcanons! :D
I love this one so much because I totally imagine Nux and Slit to be dancing to THIS FLAWLESS SONG and doing the amazing War Boy-esque thing featured in the video. >_<
I dare you to not imagine them growing old together as sprightly War Geezers doing this every year at the Citadel Festival.
think about an au where the citadel annually celebrates the defeat of immortan joe via a massive neighborhood party and the citadel basically transforms into that memorable rave scene in the matrix reloaded where everyone just dances to the epic beats served by coma the doof warrior and his trusty backing drummers. think about nux and slit just losing themselves to the music and each other on the citadel grounds before sneaking out back to their chambers to fuck each others brains out.
Ug /lawd/
As a lover of literally every type of dance music and any type of dancing that goes along with said music, /this is sooooo greeeaaaaaat/
Praise the matrix reference, that was my favorite part of that movie (I’m pretty sure it was the second one?)
Until, of course, shit goes down hard where the ‘rents are now involved in the pranks and the Momperator has just about HAD IT and basically forces everyone into a time out and threatens to cancel the swanky family vacation to Paris. Needless to say, Dad Max is relieved that Furiosa does not hesitate to wear the Bad Cop pants in their relationship.
So I have this hankering headcanon where Nux and Slit and Angharad and Capable and Toast and Cheedo and the Dag are all troubled foster teens in various ages taken in by Momperator Furiosa and Dad Max Rockatansky and it's like a crazy but lovable dysfunctional foster family where the boys execute panty raids on the girls and the girls hoisting the boys shit-stained undies with their names on it atop the school flagpole. It's a never ending cycle of friendly one-upmanship between them haha!
Omf babes
Prank wars are best
The girls put worms in the boys’ beds so they retaliate by replacing all their music with Never Gonna Give You Up
SIS DID U JUST
UGH
NOW I AM DEMANDING A MASSIVELY EPIC “DANCING IN NOWHERE [DOOF WARRIOR REMIX]” NAOW!
And hnnnnngggggg just Nux and Slit painting each other with white clay and axle grease before dancing to the song IN THE NUDE.
From being horny-as-fuck War Boys to War Geezers who still got it yas ma’am! No fucking half-lives here now that the Immortan’s dead and gone.
think about an au where the citadel annually celebrates the defeat of immortan joe via a massive neighborhood party and the citadel basically transforms into that memorable rave scene in the matrix reloaded where everyone just dances to the epic beats served by coma the doof warrior and his trusty backing drummers. think about nux and slit just losing themselves to the music and each other on the citadel grounds before sneaking out back to their chambers to fuck each others brains out.
Ug /lawd/
As a lover of literally every type of dance music and any type of dancing that goes along with said music, /this is sooooo greeeaaaaaat/
Praise the matrix reference, that was my favorite part of that movie (I’m pretty sure it was the second one?)
WHELP
I think we need our fandom comrades to drag us both together because I’m also DYING of this >_<
Speaking of that remix, this was the only legit one I could find of the song using the same visuals of the video. Not exactly containing the epic electric guitar riffs of Coma, but the aggressiveness of it along with the chopped-up vocals is close enough for me.
And now that I think about it... The co-ed group of beautiful and body-diverse hippies in the music video could probably be like the Citadel gang. Nux and Slit doing their nude dancing thing while the rest of the Wives are off to the side getting high on a particularly strong batch of weed prepared by the Dag.
think about an au where the citadel annually celebrates the defeat of immortan joe via a massive neighborhood party and the citadel basically transforms into that memorable rave scene in the matrix reloaded where everyone just dances to the epic beats served by coma the doof warrior and his trusty backing drummers. think about nux and slit just losing themselves to the music and each other on the citadel grounds before sneaking out back to their chambers to fuck each others brains out.
Ug /lawd/
As a lover of literally every type of dance music and any type of dancing that goes along with said music, /this is sooooo greeeaaaaaat/
Praise the matrix reference, that was my favorite part of that movie (I’m pretty sure it was the second one?)
That would be The Dag, babes.
She has got the look: fierce and long platinum blonde hair, awesome fashion style and tattoos, plus a weird personality to match. I’d like to imagine her and Coma-Doof doing a rocking jam session together and then performing their original song live at a big Citadel gathering where everyone just goes nuts.
Slit obviously crushing mad hard on her during the wild performance but trying his best not to look impressed (and failing spectacularly).
think about an au where the citadel annually celebrates the defeat of immortan joe via a massive neighborhood party and the citadel basically transforms into that memorable rave scene in the matrix reloaded where everyone just dances to the epic beats served by coma the doof warrior and his trusty backing drummers. think about nux and slit just losing themselves to the music and each other on the citadel grounds before sneaking out back to their chambers to fuck each others brains out.
Ug /lawd/
As a lover of literally every type of dance music and any type of dancing that goes along with said music, /this is sooooo greeeaaaaaat/
Praise the matrix reference, that was my favorite part of that movie (I’m pretty sure it was the second one?)
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO @ *vigorous head shaking*
That is TOTES a Slit reaction >_<
Poor BB is afraid the Dag might bite him something fierce if he says something wrong to her face and Nux rolls his eyes so hard he’s basically all screaming to his BFF like OMFG DUDE SHE BIT ME THAT ONE TIME GET OVER IT SHE IS NOT GOING TO BITE YOU FUCK
But Slit be like “YEAH BUT THE FACT THAT SHE CAN BITE MEANS SHE IS SO NOT CHILL OKAY?!”
Nux is now at the point that whenever he sees his two friends in close proximity, he’s all like...
think about an au where the citadel annually celebrates the defeat of immortan joe via a massive neighborhood party and the citadel basically transforms into that memorable rave scene in the matrix reloaded where everyone just dances to the epic beats served by coma the doof warrior and his trusty backing drummers. think about nux and slit just losing themselves to the music and each other on the citadel grounds before sneaking out back to their chambers to fuck each others brains out.
Ug /lawd/
As a lover of literally every type of dance music and any type of dancing that goes along with said music, /this is sooooo greeeaaaaaat/
Praise the matrix reference, that was my favorite part of that movie (I’m pretty sure it was the second one?)
WHERE ARE THE LIES?!
The Wives w/ tumblr blogs
Splendid Angharad: primarily social justice, equality, feminism and resources/help blog; followers love her and ask for advice on lots of stuff
The Dag: dark hipster aesthetic blog, lots of plants and fashion and witchcraft type things
Toast the Knowing: travel blog, pictures of what exciting things she’s doing and text; posts about hiking, skydiving, paintball, lots of extreme activities that she enjoys
Capable: art blog, posts about her fandoms and posts different sketches she draws of her faves
Cheedo the Fragile: fashion/luxury blog, lots of cute selfies and pics of starbucks, high-end branded makeup and fragrance
did i mention they share the same room in their frat house btw? >_<
SO. MUCH. HOMO.
and they always come up with the most creative and plausible excuses whenever the other war boys ask them why they’ve never brought over girls at their parties or to just have sex with them trololololololol XD
modern college au where nux and slit are these super hot frat jock boys who are part of a really popular but troublesome greek house whose members are dubbed as "war boys" because of all the mischief they cause for other competing fraternities in their campus AND rival schools. they're both super macho bros who are like no homo in public but when they're alone together, it's nc17 gayness like you won't even believe. they're very good at being on the DL coz their frat is super homophobic though.
OMF“no homo”*three hours later*“/so much homo/”
YAS THIS!
And even better, they get busted by none other than the five very popular members of their chief rival sorority whom the War Boys constantly harass whenever they get the chance.
I mean they HAD to do a goddamn quickie right at the back of the IHOP where the Vuvalini girls always hang out!
Suffice to say that The Dag and her badass sorority sisters have very great blackmail material to use against Nux and Slit now that they’ve found out their dirty little homo secret XD
modern college au where nux and slit are these super hot frat jock boys who are part of a really popular but troublesome greek house whose members are dubbed as "war boys" because of all the mischief they cause for other competing fraternities in their campus AND rival schools. they're both super macho bros who are like no homo in public but when they're alone together, it's nc17 gayness like you won't even believe. they're very good at being on the DL coz their frat is super homophobic though.
OMF“no homo”*three hours later*“/so much homo/”
The Dag: You better tell your asshole brothers to stop with the panty raids at our sorority house or we’ll fucking let them know exactly what you two have been up to.
Slit: Oh yeah?! Who would fucking believe you bitches anyway?
Nux: Yeah, that’s right Slit.
Capable: Do you think we’re idiots?
Toast: FYI you homo morons, we got your nasty little cocksucking session on video. Show ‘em, Cheedo.
Cheedo: *looking very smug as she whips out her iPhone and plays the HD video of their homo time zoomed waaaaaay in and definitely proving they were so busted*
Angharad: So yeah, if you guys could please NOT with your sexist shit against us for good, that would be great.
Nux and Slit: .... FINE.
The Dag: And that’s not the only thing we want from you two... *gives them a very evil look*
Slit: What do you want...?
*****HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE*****
modern college au where nux and slit are these super hot frat jock boys who are part of a really popular but troublesome greek house whose members are dubbed as "war boys" because of all the mischief they cause for other competing fraternities in their campus AND rival schools. they're both super macho bros who are like no homo in public but when they're alone together, it's nc17 gayness like you won't even believe. they're very good at being on the DL coz their frat is super homophobic though.
OMF“no homo”*three hours later*“/so much homo/”
Never mess with the Vuvalini Sorority Girls, especially the Five because those ladies mean fucking BUSINESS. And by business, I mean a-very-lucrative-and-hot-amateur-frat-jock-gay-porn type of business where they use the money to fund their program helping college girls with their student loans.
And it helps that The Dag and Capable are kinda have a gay porn fetish and love to see the real thing happen than just getting it online bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. In the end, Nux and Slit ~really~ can’t complain if it means getting to have their hardcore homo on without getting exposed to their homophobic frat War Bros lol.
modern college au where nux and slit are these super hot frat jock boys who are part of a really popular but troublesome greek house whose members are dubbed as "war boys" because of all the mischief they cause for other competing fraternities in their campus AND rival schools. they're both super macho bros who are like no homo in public but when they're alone together, it's nc17 gayness like you won't even believe. they're very good at being on the DL coz their frat is super homophobic though.
OMF“no homo”*three hours later*“/so much homo/”
Mad Max: Fury Road x Harry Potter Headcanons
Imperator Furiosa
Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor. Gryffindor alum. Also a legacy member of the Vuvalini Vixens, an international and award-winning all-female Quidditch team where her mother, Mary Jo Bassa, served as lead Chaser for two decades. She is very famous in the Wizarding world because she successfully defeated a very evil Dark Wizard named Immortan Joe when she encountered him during her gap year travels in the Wasteland where he controlled an army of deranged warlocks and established a very dangerous Death cult that preyed on virginal witches. However, it was in this famous battle that she also lost her left arm due to a very powerful Severing Curse that Immortan Joe aimed at her. Undeterred by her irreversible injury, she promptly fashioned herself a fully-functional mechanical arm that never fails to impress the kids at Hogwarts. She has a slight discomfort teaching classroom theory, but definitely shines when it comes to demonstrating the practical spells in her classes. She's considered as one of the more popular teachers among the students at Hogwarts, and is fair and objective when it comes to grading students. but has a zero-tolerance policy when she catches students bullying others, especially if the victims are girls.
Max Rockatansky
Transfiguration instructor. Slytherin alum. Several rumors surround Professor Rockatansky due to his very taciturn personality and tendency to avoid socializing with his students or colleagues outside of classes. Some say he's a werewolf, even though he's been spotted several times in public during full moon nights. Some say he works undercover for the Ministry of Magic as an Unspeakable, hence his secretive and isolated nature. But the most popular story surrounding his mystique (though still largely viewed as unproven hearsay) is that he went slightly mad from the heat after accidentally Apparating himself to the Australian Outback desert and was unable to get back home for more a month, thus earning him the nickname of "Mad Max" among the students, though they use it more as an affectionate term since the students respect and admire him despite his reserved nature. He's actually quite nice and engaging whenever he's teaching classes, and has been known to crack a smile or two (and delivering rather awkward thumbs-up gestures) whenever his students successfully perform rather complicated spellwork. And even though he and Professor Furiosa share a strictly professional working relationship, that has not stopped the student body of Hogwarts from making good-natured comments about them looking really cute together.
The Splendid Angharad
Seventh Year student. Head Girl. Gryffindor. Angharad is the leader of a popular all-girls clique in the school known simply as The Five. While most girls blessed with genetically good looks would be shallow and self-centered mean girls who make fun of other people, Angharad is actually a friendly and caring pureblood witch who is well-liked by most everyone in Hogwarts. She's a very vocal advocate for student rights, regardless of their Wizarding blood status, and takes her duties as the school's Head Girl very seriously. An unfortunate Potions accident during her Fourth Year has left part of her face and arms permanently covered in a webbed pattern of scars, but this physical deformity has not diminished her inner beauty and as a result, many of the underclassmen girls look up to her as a strong and aspirational figure for positive self-esteem because she refuses to hide her scars underneath glamour or concealment charms. Besides being one of Hogwarts’ top academic students, the school administration also approves of Angharad's many helpful initiatives she has enacted over the years like setting up tutoring sessions for students having difficulties with the curriculum and strengthening international academic relations with Beauxbatons and Durmstrang by establishing an annual cultural exchange program. Needless to say, there is no doubt as to why a lot of people often call her "Splendid".
Capable
Seventh Year student. Prefect. Gryffindor. Capable is considered as the second-in-command of the Five and is also Angharad's best friend since childhood. Living up to her name, Capable is highly skilled in the magical arts—with a natural affinity for Transfiguration and Astronomy—and is known to be exceptionally talented at fixing broken things without the use of magic since she grew up in a Muggle household where her parents work as service repair attendants. Because of this, she is the school's top student when it comes to Muggle Studies and she usually fields a lot of questions from curious pureblood students about how things work outside of the Wizarding world. Apart from her responsibilities as a Prefect, Capable is the president of several extracurricular clubs and is the go-to senior student chaperone whenever the Hogwarts underclassmen take regular field trips to the Muggle world. Although she’s not as sporty as Toast, Capable was the one who introduced, adapted, and popularized the concept of cheerleading for school Quidditch, and thus, all four Houses now have permanent Quidditch Cheerleading squads. She is also responsible for taking over Angharad's duties whenever her best friend is busy with other important engagements or is otherwise sick with illness. Despite being a good girl at heart, Capable is slightly prone to being attracted to guys with a bit of a bad boy streak in them.
The Dag
Sixth Year student. Slytherin. Out of the Five, the Dag has earned a reputation for being the most eccentric student in school despite her otherworldly good looks. Originally from Beauxbatons, she transferred to Hogwarts during her Third Year when she became good friends with Angharad while the latter was on a summer holiday in France with her parents. The Dag is fiercely proud of her Veela heritage (from her mother's side) although she largely feels she could do without the constant unwanted attention that boys with no sense of boundaries often place upon her due to her inherent allure. Both serene and cynical, the Dag is a fascinating amalgamation of personalities and often surprises people by doing things that are in contrast to her exterior beauty. Unlike many other girls in the school, the Dag is interested in the most esoteric of things, dresses in a very singular style, moves with a charming mixture of grace and awkwardness, and often speaks in strange turns of phrases that range from poetic (she often describes incoming trouble as "furious fixations") to head-scratchingly crude (she can deliver the harshest of insults in her own brand of slang). And apart from Divination, the Dag consistently gets Outstanding marks when it comes to Herbology, and she is usually found reading books about magical and Muggle plants by the greenhouses or at the edge of the Forbidden Forest whenever she likes to spend some time alone.
Toast the Knowing
Sixth Year student. Quidditch Team Seeker. Ravenclaw. Despite having a tough-as-nails personality indicative of a Gryffindor student, Toast is one of Ravenclaw's best assets and has earned her moniker of "The Knowing" for many reasons. Both book smart and street smart, Toast is a reliable source of information on various topics and the other members of the Five often seek her knowledge and input whenever they do group study sessions together. Outside of her impressive academic abilities, Toast is one of the most talented Seekers that Hogwarts has ever produced, and she hopes to one day join the Vuvalini Vixens as a first-string team player after she graduates since Professor Furiosa has confided to Toast that she will give the team her glowing recommendation. Should a career in professional Quidditch not be in the cards for her, Toast is ready to execute her backup career plan of becoming a top female wandmaker since it is very rare in the Wizarding world for witches to pursue wandmaking as a skilled profession. Despite her petite frame, Toast can handle student bullies twice her size with or without the use of her wand. While her social circle primarily consists of Quidditch boys from all four Hogwarts houses, Toast is still able to get in touch with her feminine side by spending quality girl time with the rest of the Five during weekends or regular trips to Hogsmeade.
Cheedo the Fragile
Fifth Year student. Hufflepuff. As the youngest of the Five, Cheedo is largely protected by the elder members of her clique since she gets a significant amount of (mostly unwarranted) attention from hormonal boys apart from The Dag. Though she was nicknamed "Fragile" during her early years in Hogwarts (she often cried a lot due to homesickness), Cheedo has considerably toughened up as she grew older and has been known to hold her own ground whenever her best friends aren't around; using her facade of fragility to her advantage whenever bullies try to pull a fast one on her. Boasting a formidable combination of brains and beauty, Cheedo has emerged as one of Hufflepuff's star students and is often credited for earning the most points for her House every year. And ever since Capable established Quidditch Cheerleading in Hogwarts, Cheedo has tried out for the Hufflepuff team and is on track to becoming the House’s squad captain when she ascends to her Seventh Year. She also often volunteers to be the head of any committee whenever Angharad announces plans to host fun events on the school's social calendar since this allows Cheedo to showcase her leadership abilities, take on more serious responsibilities outside of classes, and prove to herself and to others that her nickname does not define who she is as a person.
Nux
Seventh Year student. Quidditch Team Chaser. Slytherin. Known for being the fastest and the most dangerous broom rider in Hogwarts, Nux has also gained school notoriety since he was a transfer student from Durmstrang during his Fourth Year. Having entered the school midway through a typical Hogwarts student's academic tenure, Nux initially had a hard time fitting in with the rest of the student body until he showed up for the Slytherin Quidditch Team tryouts where he easily defeated the competition with his death-defying broom riding and Chasing skills. Since then, he has charmed most of the Hogwarts students with his impressive Quidditch talents (along with his rakish yet boyish good looks) and is largely credited for conceiving popular battle cries on the field which has evolved into now-legendary school catchphrases ("I live! I die! I live again!" and "Witness me!") that the Slytherin Quidditch Cheerleading squad loves to incorporate in their routines. Despite his knowledge and objectively keen interest in the Dark Arts due to being educated in Durmstrang, Nux has never once been inclined to use such negative forces in his magical studies or in everyday life. And while he does engage in typical shenanigans that is expected of mischievous adolescent boys like him, Nux has demonstrated remarkable restraint when it comes to improving his slightly mediocre grades and immature behavior considering that he hopes to catch the attention of a certain red-headed member of Hogwarts' most esteemed social group.