Obese Ana - Tumblr Posts
Guys help! *pro ana, obese Ana, thinspo accounts please interact* Ed rant.
As background I'm an obese Ana with diabetes. I am not pro diabulimia, and have been taking my insulin regularly. I could get seriously sick if I stop taking it so I'm not down for that option (ironic since I'd rather be sick from starvation but that's another topic).
Everytime I eat or not eat I feel terrible. if I eat my body feels better, I can think and function but I feel like a fat cow. If I don't eat I'm weak and my blood sugar drops to a dangerous level literally forcing me to eat.
No matter how small a meal/ how little food I eat it never feels right, I don't want to eat at all. But I literally can't I work and I rather not sleep all day. Does anyone have tips. I hate eating it's literally getting to me I feel terrible but I can't not eat something. no matter what I eat my blood sugar keeps dropping forcing me to eat more which in turn triggers me making me want to eat less. 🥲 wtf is a girl supposed to do.
Im asking for Ana safe foods that are supper small so I don't feel guilty eating and that give energy. Or drinks, preferably drinks I hate liquid calories but at least it won't trigger me so bad.
Goals I want to reach in tandem with my ugw
1. I want to graduate from my community College and move on to a 4 year.
2. I want to be fluent in korean, Japanese and spanish so I can have more job prospects and potentially work overseas.
3. I want to start a business and or have multiple side incomes.
4. I want to live the rich baddie life of my dreams, learn how to be classy and femine, be a people person who charms a room and has many connections.
I may be completely upset with my body but once I reach my goal weight I don't want to be lost and skinny 😂 can't forget to live your life baddies ✨️
I can't even walk past a mirror without body checking now adays :/
Babes ima let you in on something 😌 delicious, fresh, diffrent. Get some diet lipton green tea
Wow you can find thinspo anywhere 🤪 if she's a "very large woman" then what am I at 293 🥲 I was going to eat dinner but fuck it. My week of being strick on myself with a minimum of 500 calories failed I lost literally zero pounds. I need to try harder.
I can't wait to have pretty fingers 🥲
I can't wait...
I can't wait to lose the weight. I'm going to do it and no binge or lack of motivation can stop me.
I can't wait for people to be shocked by my weightloss, for them to smile in my face after looking down on me.
I can't wait to be wanted.
I can't wait for my body to reflect who I am inside.
I can't wait for people to treat me like I'm precious, give me their jacket when I'm cold, for people to back hug me because I'm cute and small.
I can't wait to receive the intimacy and touches that I was deprived of.
I can't wait for the days I feel happy to no longer be interrupted by feelings of self hate when I flip over and my rolls shift.
I can't wait for my family to get off my back and no longer have something to hold over me.
I can't wait to go shopping with my friends and to actually be able to buy something.
I can't wait for my chance at love...
For my girlies who binge, don't record calories, then feel bad. Make a custom food with the estimated cals. I know I ate like 2000+ or so cals throughout that whole day. I'm fasting today 🥲
Guys what am I supposed to do.
The fear of loose skin is terrifying. I can't live with loose skin that ruins everything I'm dreaming of. What do I do, there telling me to loose weight slowly but I can't even properly eat 1000 calories anymore, it's scary I didn't think I was scared of them but I am. People mentioned fasting for more than 3 days but I've seen other people's stories, they don't care about the loose skin but I do. I can't afford a surgery, what do I do, what do I do.
Girl i am fighting for my life over here, trying to prevent a binge with every ounce of my being. Preparing to fast, exersizing, crying because my skin is getting looser and making my body look worse 😩 we are not thriving.
I can't wait till I get to a weight where I can die in peace.
Still thinking about how I've lost 4 pounds in a 6 days since my relapse 🥰
Also me thinking about how it was probably all water weight 🤡
Look at her she's beautiful 😍 I've been doing so well I hope this continues, no I'm manifesting it.
I don't know whether I should die just to keep up my week of restriction or just eat so that I can cry, hate myself and do another week of restriction 💀
✨️ I'm diabetic by the way ✨️
So I've decided life but I'm so sad now 😭
like all those days. I was going to weigh tomorrow, I was going to have a metabolism day on the 20th, I was doing so good. I'm not even calling this a binge I needed a metabolism day either way but the way I'm just happy...
I can think. I'm doing and having ideas for my hobbies like wtf. All that free time not eating and I couldn't do shit but I eat 600 more calories and suddenly life is worth living. Food has a hold on me and it's disgusting, I wasn't even hungry I just needed energy. I'm so very sad right now.
I don't know whether I should die just to keep up my week of restriction or just eat so that I can cry, hate myself and do another week of restriction 💀
✨️ I'm diabetic by the way ✨️
I Love Korean Weightloss videos 😍 went to tiktok and got depressed went to YouTube and I feel so motivated.
I love her so much, I don't know if I should share it or not, she's so real. Like how do they have an ed and no one bats an eye. Love that for then.
And she's so funny bro
Weird ed'd dinner #1
Mashed patotatoes (box made, cheese, milk, and butter) 210 cals
Kiwi 45 cals
Total 255.
I used to be a person who ate food after food, meal after meal. No one ever questioned if I'd eaten my mom sure as hell blamed me for every missing snack. But she's also my biggest motivation 🥰 love her for making me swear to myself I'll never be talked down on like the fat ass of the house. Yet she's the only one who ever tells me to eat, "you haven't eaten all day put, something on your stomach 🥺". She's so sweet right...
I don't know who I blame more her or me.
May or may not be dying 😀
Made some kimchi jjigae for dinner. Now my neck is stiff, my head hurts, My face feels hot but I also have chills, I can't get up because it feels like my head will explode. Don't know if I poisoned myself because I can't cook or is this some side effect from me restricting. Felt like I was going to pass out at work today but I don't know why either.
Kimchi jjigae 295 cals
half cup of rice 60 cals
Total: 375 cals
The possibly poisoned kimchi jjigae ☺️
Maybe I am just a dumb ass bitch.
Like why am I doing this to myself. If I have the self controle to eat 500 cals a day why can't I just do this healthily.
Is it because I want fast results, because I don't want to exersize. I'm such a loser if that's the case...
But I love the controle, I love that I'm taking back my power. How my stomach literally hurts if I over eat.
... but does that make me an attention speaker, fuck it I am. I want people to worry about me. Wtf does that make me then? A narrsasitic bitch?
But I'm so scared of being who I was, shoving food mindlessly down my throat. Being the ugly fat friend who always asked people if they were going to finish their food.... wow that was a visceral memory.
Maybe I will just starve till I die. Fuck it