Pete Spankoffski - Tumblr Posts
A bit different from my typical asks, but here’s a Hatchetfield idea that came to me during class.
Okay, so basically, an interaction I would like to see is Peter going to Ted for dating advice and revealing his crush on Steph. Naturally, Ted is his usual self and starts busting Pete’s balls… but then it dawns on him, Pete genuinely likes this girl and is actually coming to him for brotherly advice. It takes a minute to collect himself, but Ted thinks back on his past conquests, his repeated attempts at starting legitimate relationships, Jenny… and when he finally sort out his thoughts, he actually manages to muster up some sound advice and words of encouragement for his brother.
Honestly, this scenario could go any number of ways, but I keep coming back to the cruelly ironic idea that Ted, despite helping Peter, can’t take his own advice and falls back on his usual tendencies.
I’m sure other people have had the same/similar ideas, but I just thought I’d share my take on the matter.
Really like he idea that Ted, on some level, knows that his usual lessons and techniques aren't healthy, but still uses them.
I think this is because Ted doesn't consider himself worthy of happiness, even if he doesn't know the whole truth about Jenny, he still considers it his fault, so he punishes himself. In his own words from TGWDLM, he refuses to be happy.
Another thing that might play a role in this is Ted's religious beliefs, I'm serious. Ted is a Presbyterian and takes his religion at least seriously enough to refuse to die in another denomination's church. I know this was probably written as a joke, as in "haha, the horny asshole cares about religious minutia", but it's really interesting to me.
I almost wonder if Ted is trying to redeem himself in some roundabout way. His projection onto Bill in that infamous rant, the fact that in Black Friday he spends his last moments trying to bring some small comfort to Peter and Charlotte, the two people he cares about the most. There's something there, a want to do something good, and also a fear of making things worse again.
As you can probably tell, I ponder Ted a lot, and I really hope we see more of his relationship with Pete in the future.
I know most of this wasn't about the ask, but I just wanted to get some of these thoughts out.
“The spankoffski bros are played by the same actor, they both can’t be on stage at the same time!”
Wrong. Joey has two hands.
May I present the superior solution:
what if tomorrow comes?
Guys you don’t understand, they’re literally the epitome of the “He asked for no pickles” meme.
The fact that Ted is so attached to Paul is probably because he reminds him of his little brother. Just a thought.
it is TECHNICALLY TUESDAY SO I CAN POST THIS
saw this prompt from @lautski-week after i had already started working on this, but the extra time made me work on it a little more than i wouldve, i really like how it turned out !
It took all of 15 minutes for the jury to declare Stephanie Lauter guilty for the murders of Maxwell Jagerman, Richard Lipschitz, Ruth Fleming, and Peter Spankoffski. The sentence rung out through the courtroom, but Steph's demeanor made no change.
She knew she should be feeling something. Hell, she'd be spending the rest of her life in a prison cell. And yet, she couldn't bring herself to care. After all, she had killed Pete. Max, too, although he wasn't the first thing on her mind.
Stephanie Lauter was going to prison. The person who shot Peter Spankoffski point-blank in the head was going to prison.
Good. She thought. Fucking good.
The trial itself hadn't been as bad as she'd expected. She sat silently (voluntarily, for once in her life) as witnesses shared testimonies and lawyers performed carefully rehearsed statements.
The worst part was Pete's brother.
He was one of the most important witnesses for the prosecution, and Steph could feel his glare boring into her skull throughout the trial. It was his brother's testimony that truly made her realize how irrefutably guilty she looked.
The first time they planned to meet outside of school, Pete had come home bloodied and bruised and insisting that he just fell down the stairs. Then a couple days later, he came home in blood-soaked clothing, refusing to tell his brother anything. Then finally, Pete was killed, and Steph's fingerprints were on the trigger.
She knew how guilty she looked. She knew how guilty she was.
And somehow, Ted fucking Spankoffski -- the biggest sleazeball in Hatchetfield, a grade-A asshole, the bastard everyone knows and hates -- made her hate herself more than she ever thought she could.
She barely registered the security officers taking her arms and leading her out of the courtroom. She was brought outside, where dozens of reporters and news stations were waiting for her.
Hatchetfield is a small town. Steph hadn't realized how small it was until she recognized every face looking up at her with horror and disgust.
A furious sob rang out over the crushing wave of verbal abuse.
Steph looked over her shoulder, to see Ted Spankoffski being held back by several court security guards. He thrashed wildly in their grip, snarling at Steph.
She was ushered into a police car, as more officers attended to Ted.
As the car pulled away from the courthouse, Ted Spankoffski suddenly looked so small. His resolve crumbled as he fell to his knees, weeping over his murdered brother.
The person who killed Peter Spankoffski was spending the rest of her life in prison.
Good. Thought Steph. Fucking good.
Nerdy Prudes Must Die as Tumblr posts and various headlines
battle of the bands au where the nerdy prudes have been in a band since they all became friends in middle school and it’s senior and they finally got enough courage to actually sign up. but their bassist is travis coulson, their friend who transferred to sycamore, and therefore is “not allowed” to perform in battle of the bands. they put up signs for an auditions but no one tries out for the spot bc they’re such losers. then in a lemonade mouth moment steph and richie get detention together (steph for being on her phone, richie for telling the teacher she’s an idiot) and richie finds out steph plays bass. he begs her to join so they can still compete and she honestly does it bc he’s making them sound so pathetic and she feels bad for him. then she joins and falls in love w pete during the practices and they win!
HIM <3 I don't know why its taken me so long to draw Pete I love him so much
Imagine he's talking about football or whatever else he enjoys , and Pete or whoever else's there is just like " Okay why does it matter ? You're making it a big deal " and Max just yells that at him 😭
( The Starkid fixation may or may not have came back .. )
It matters because I gave it meaning bitch
but do you see the absolute STINK EYE grace is giving him?!
I’m crying
pete is Uncomfortable
I’m at apple barn rn and I ordered chocolate milk and IT STILL HASNT COME. Giving off Pete and his hot chocolate energy
I am NOT over the implications of this shit someone pointing out how Pete would’ve been in the building with Alice has RUINED ME that’s his brother in there Ted’s fucking destroyed
Has anyone done this yet?
Guys you don’t understand, they’re literally the epitome of the “He asked for no pickles” meme.
Your honour, they were simply just in a silly goofy mood.
*fingers aggressively gripping my thighs* Yea I think about that one sleazeball a normal amount.
Little Pete for your troubles
Yea…I immediately opened Procreate after reading that last one
Spankoffski Bros Headcannons
They live in a pretty small apartment, I can see the layout in my head. 2 bedrooms 1 bathroom. It smells like a mix of grandma and Ted’s axe body spray
Their bedrooms are right across the hall from each other
Either a)their parents died under suspicious circumstances, b)had a huge messy divorce with lots of fighting over custody of Pete to the point where Pete just said fuck em and moved in with his brother or c)their parents wanted to move out of Hatchetfield but Peter refused to leave his friends and Ted offered to take him in for his senior year
They get take out at least once a week
Ted will always text Peter if he plans to spend the night somewhere else and tells their neighbors to check in on him
Ted taught Peter how to shave
Every time Peter won a science fair, despite teasing him endlessly, Ted would always take a picture and put it in his wallet (he now has a wallet with one of those photo holders that flips out)
They secretly watch trashy reality TV together on Sundays and yell at the screen the whole time
Every time Steph calls Pete, Ted will start making make out noises in the background to embarrass him
Peter and Richie met because Ted and Paul brought them to bring your kid to work day at CCRP
They come up with intricate and convoluted ways to slyly flip each other off (ie. scratching their nose with their middle finger, popping all of their knuckles but one, etc.)
Peter gave Ted an “I ❤️ hot moms” shirt for Christmas one year