Thinking About Life - Tumblr Posts
Poem: It Rained Today
It rained today, and I wondered
Where I was in the universe,
A speck on a speck on another,
Wishing not to be washed away.
j.p
Poem: Little River
A Haiku
A little river
flows my way, and gently floods
my heart with calm waves.
j.p
thinking about me in a way i never did before
I have been wondering what is wrong with me lately. It is like suddenly everything gets even blurrier from this point. First I thought I knew what I had always wanted in life, even though I never had real plans, at least I always knew what I want or what I thought I wanted. And suddenly things just changed.
Right now I don’t even know what I want to do, like suddenly I just fall into a total confusion, and lose my consciousness about what I have always wanted for myself. I don’t even know what I feel right now. I am numb, but I feel dumb. Everything has been going on very well lately, and I know there is a say “you can’t always get what you want”, but lately I feel like I always get what I want, until I don’t know what I want anymore. The problem is that I don’t have a list right now, and I hate to think that I need to make a new list of things I want. Maybe I only want too few things in life that when I get everything I want, I get bored and I just don’t know what I want other than things that I already have right now. So I am stuck. Or maybe I actually want more but I am just too afraid to admit that I want more than what I have right now, or just too lazy to think about it because it sounds complicated.
I believe life is still full of surprises though in a good way. So I will just sit and wait for that kind of surprises. Well I can’t expect too much, but I can always sit and hope right? I guess when you expect too much you might get hurt, but when you expect too little or nothing at all, you might end up being bored like the way I am right now. And it is a new thing that I need to keep in my mind.
Have you folks ever did something, think about it later and then say to yourself " Wait... That was really autistic of you [ insert self name]" ???