Should Have Said:

Should have said:

Listen pal, there's only enough room on this block for one Fuck Up (tm) and the position has been filled. GTFO!

That did not take long. He just stopped me in the street as I was walking to my car.

I ducked out by saying I didn’t have time to talk. I would have humoured him before. Maybe flirted. The thought makes me sick now.

Woo! Progress!

When he kicked me out initially and I dragged my shamed, mortified, and heartbroken ass to my parents place, I spent days in bed with silent tears rolling down my face.

I don't remember going to work, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. It's a blur.

But something broke up the monotony of misery. My dad knocked on the door and handed me a care package that had been dropped off. It had fuzzy socks, chocolate, and two movies.

I was basically inconsolable at this point and still very much under his spell. But this brought me a bit out of my fog. It was a thoughtful gesture that really meant the world to me.

I repeat, friendship is a vastly underrated relationship.

Friendship is a vastly underrated relationship.

He used to put his hands around my waist and tell me “you’re so small!”

My broken brain was thrilled by this ‘compliment.’  In hindsight, it was a threat:  “I could break you so easily.”

He cut me off a year ago today.

Best thing he probably ever did for me.

It can difficult at times for me to regulate my emotions. They often come in these rushing, overwhelming surges that are impossible to guage.

So I have been in situations like today, where I'm waiting to see the dentist, and I am struggling to hold back tears because I'm feeling unworthy, incapable and unloved. There have been plenty of times where I have lost the battle and full out sobbed in public.

This is embarrassing, but it's not the worst thing that has ever happened. Occasionally my stress-and-agony-exhausted body decides to release tension in other ways.

Have you ever sort of lost it and had a full out uncontrollable evil-scientist laugh attack in public?

I feel like my workplace would fall apart without me.  This notion is inducing some serious mental health regression.