Hashtags On Tumblr Feel Like A JOKE (no Offense To This Wonderful App But) I Just Wrote About A Psychotic

Hashtags on tumblr feel like a JOKE (no offense to this wonderful app but) I just wrote about a psychotic episode but I have to use the girlblogger hashtag to get to my audience still 😭 it makes me feel insane! The switch from the mood I was in as I wrote the actual blog to writing “#girl blogger” made me feel even more insane 😭 now time to write the hashtags for this repost 😭🔫

I haven’t had a visual hallucination since like a decade and a half, but I did today :( Right before taking a nap I saw my wall had kid’s handwriting made with pen and pencil, then it was just pencil and then they looked erased but still there depending on the lighting I was looking at the wall from :( I feel so dumb writing this cause I didn’t notice it was a hallucination when it obviously was :( I know that I was having a psychotic episode and ofc I was out of myself, but as a kid there was a point when I knew when I was having a hallucination or not :( so yeah this is the sad story of today I guess

And I was preparing to wake up angry at my cousin for letting her kids do whatever they want all the time, but I woke up with a normal wall 😭🔫

I find comfort

I find comfort in thinking about what I want to do

I find comfort in the unknown, and not in a mystic exciting way

I find comfort in the fact that good things might happen

But if I try them

I have the belief that they won’t

So I find comfort in daydreaming and hope

I’d rather kms than do what someone tells me to

I used to think God could read my mind. That he is all knowing, so of course he knows what I’m thinking. I was scared he would hear me cursing and saying mean things in my head.

Then when I got older i went through hardships and then knew. Either god couldn’t hear me or he was just cruel.

Now I know there’s no use, no one’s listening.

A Girl You Might Know

How tf do I live with a disgusting family secret that was revealed to me two days ago? I will sue this family member asap, but what can I do to live sanely while he’s still living freely?