CW: VENT, SUICIDE MENTIONS

CW: VENT, SUICIDE MENTIONS

Why can't I just fucking mean something to someone?

I'm tired of being cooped up in my house all day long and never actually getting to hang out with any of my friends, while also never getting a single bit of attention online outside of people being a dick to me and shaming me for having a different opinion than theirs, and atp, i'm giving up.

I stopped asking my friends if they want to hang out, I stopped trying to rack up conversations with people, and I just don't care anymore.

I'm only still active on social media anymore because even with the isolation I still have this stupid ass internet addiction that's never gonna go away and I just-... (honestly it wouldn't matter what I post anyway considering my reputation's already ruined by some stupid actions I did years ago.

I just wish someone actually needed me in their life. Like they literally depend on my attention so that they don't kill themselves. That way I wouldn't be so damn lonely all the time.

I hate being single

Like i wanna send random stuff to a s/o

I wanna hold some1

I wanna feel loved

i feel like i am cursed. nobody will ever love me enough. no matter how much effort i put into the relationship. my emotions are too much for them. nobody wants to deal with that shit. but you know who else doesnt want to deal with those feelings? ME. i am so fucking tired of my head and people leaving does not help. i swear i am trying my best but you keep making everything worse get out of my head please.

I want to have friends so so baaad-

But then I realize that I have a very low social battery and I feel like I'm going to faint from tiredness after every little interaction