Borderline Things - Tumblr Posts

the amount of vilification i see online about bpd is so heartbreaking. people constantly saying to run like hell and that bpd partners will always be abusive and toxic. i love my partner but im afraid she’ll come to feel that way too.

This and also I wish I didn't take every interaction with m friends for granted

i wish i could feel emotions the normal amount

omg maybe life is worth living [i had a decent day] —> i cannot be saved [the slightest inconvenience occurs] —> i am a fucking god and everyone loves me [someone laughed at my joke] —> i am going to kill myself [i feel a little bit unwanted because of someone’s reaction]

and this shit just goes on and on and NEVER stops

nobody will understand how badly it hurts when you wither everything you touch and lay waste wherever you step.

I feel so fucking disconnected from reality atp i don't know what to do anymore

i get so angry when someone finds out I have bpd and they all of the sudden are sexually attracted to me PLS MAKE IT LESS OBVIOUS YOU GET OFF TO THE CRAZY GIRL STEREOTYPE

Sometimes it is my fault sometimes I am a horrible person

I need a big red circle and arrow around me that says “sensitive. will cry” like some sort of shitty clickbait YouTube video

I’m so tired of playing the back and forth game with my mental health. Every time I relapse and think, “okay, yeah, maybe THIS time, I’ll finally get it.” And that lasts for maybe 2 weeks if I’m lucky and then I watch myself just…stop. Stop getting up in the morning, forgot to eat for 3 days, oh shit I haven’t taken a shower either, stopped taking my meds at the right times and then just stopped all together, next thing I know I’m another suicide attempt back in the hospital. The worst part of it all is being SO self aware of it. I know I’m self destructing and I know that I don’t want to, except for some fucking reason I have to. This is going to kill me one day.

i’m ready to kill myself i was kinda just hoping i could maybe have sex before i die tho

"just learn to tolerate things" if i hear that shit come out of your mouth one more time I am going to hit you with a brick, fuck you.

I hate whenever people tell me that I "struggle with tolerating things" or how I "get triggered whenever someone has an opinion that's not 100% like yours", because while it is objectively true, people forget that i canNOT control this shit.

I stopped tolerating shit because i had people constantly manipulate and exploit me to the point it basically killed my wellbeing, it's LITERALLY a trauma response.

And the black-and-white thinking is because, get this: IT'S A PART OF MY FUCKING DISORDER, ONE OF THE MAIN CRITERIA ACTUALLY.

Also, saying that I get all pissy at someone not 100% agreeing with an opinion i have is a bit of a stretch. I can tolerate someone not 100% agreeing with me, I'm not that close-minded, however, what i DON'T tolerate is someone being a genuine asshole about their opinion and/or actively attempting to trigger me on purpose. (*COUGH COUGH* The Tony Crynight sever Incident)

Seriously, people act like I don't constantly argue with people online..

Anyway, probably gonna show this blog to my therapist (because at least SHE knows how I fell and at least I can actually trust her..)

When you are a borderline

Sadness feels like suicide.

Anger feels like murder.

Distance feels like abbandonment.

Joy feels weird and unknown.

Being in love feels like being an inconvenience.

Loving someone feels like losing control.

Losing someone feels like dying.

Happiness feels like unbearable euphoria.

Feeling normal feels like feeling nothing.

Now put all that in a single week.

your tone changed your tone changed your tone changed just say you hate me

i don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm scared, I don't want to do anything. I don't have a strong passion. Maybe I'm not even a real person.

Just let me curl up in a bed and sleep for an eternity...

Hell

''Doesn't know what it's like to receive love''

As a self-proclaimed Yandere with BPD (though i don't talk about it for some reason), I'mma have to agree wholeheartedly with this.

I feel like the only people who should identify as a yandere are the people who've actually had to deal with the experience that's often associated with yandere behavior (as you mentioned)

The only exception I'll make is Ayano Aishi from Yandere simulator, but mainly because she's extremely BPD coded and I headcanon her as someone with BPD.

God I hate neurotypicals sometimes...

I feel saying you’re a self proclaimed “yandere” is fetishizing mental illness

The term yandere is literally based on bpd and being obsessive

Unlike people who are a self proclaimed “yandere” I can’t fucking help it

It isn’t a cute and quirky thing it’s a genuine mental illness that has been warped to a media stereotype and romanized the shit out of

hehe real

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