Peter: Yknow, There Is A More Efficient Way To Answer Someone On The Phone When You Really Dont Wanna

Peter: Y’know, there is a more efficient way to answer someone on the phone when you really don’t wanna talk to them.

Peter: “Mario’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce!”

Peter: And guess what, Nick Fury did stop calling after that!

Happy, having a stroke when Nick Fury appears on his phone afterwards:

Tony: Ned, what was the first thing you did after the shooting?

Ned: I called my parents and told them that I was okay.

Tony: And what was the first thing Peter did?

Ned: He ate a banana.

Tony: Hey kid, you writing an essay or something?

Peter, typing out his Star Wars DR script: ...yes

Peter: Technically, you can’t prove that I can die until I do die.

Peter: And after today’s Spanish test, I might just test that theory.

Tony, using Peter’s own webshooters to web him to his bed: NO—

Tony, introducing Peter to the Avengers: Peter is our newest avenger, Spider-Man.

Steve: That’s a CHILD.

Peter: And that’s an ugly, pimply bitch.

Peter: Do you ever just...

Peter: *folds like a beach chair*

Harley: Yup *proceeds to fold like a beach chair*

Tony: Um.....pardon me??