Vent Post

Vent post

Why everytime a professional in mental health tells you something that you already know hit so fucking hard and makes me wanna cry?

In our today's session our psychologist told us "Yes... Those are post traumatic stress symptoms" and we knew, we are aware of that, but it fucking hurts so bad and when we heard it from her we felt so horrible and bad, like the body reacting bad when you hear something you shouldn't

We knew we have it, why does it hurts and feels so bad when

When will people understand that boundaries ≠ stance? I think this a big issue in the plural community that many people can't understand, specially in the endo syscourse topic

Boundary & stance

When we talk about a boundaries we talk about limits for our own comfort, boundaries are an important thing about someone's life because it helps you to prioritize yourself to have healty and good relationships with other people

Boundaries are something everyone has, it something natural because of our consciousness and feelings. Some poeple are able to identify them and put them into formal words, some people let other people break their boundaries without even realizing, but everyone has boundaries, at least one

When we talk about a stance we talk about your posture and the way you stand to a topic, stances are based in your opinion and comprehension about a topic and aren't related to other things

Stances are your opinion, your POV about a topic, how you understand and think about something, you can have a stance for everything including topics that for others doesn't have sence to have a stance, after all stances are subjective and something you completly choose, having stances isn't something that everybody has, but the majority of people do have, and it's also valid to have a stance and don't wanting to share it

Sure, some people base their stances in their comfort, opinion and feelings, but other people don't, at the end a stance isn't necessarily influenced about your feelings

So we need to understand that even though stances and boundaries can co-related they're not hand in hand always, we're millions of people and everyone is it's own world, so obviously might be exceptions about someone who has a boundary who doesn't align with their stance, after all they're not the same thing and aren't forcefully related

Endo syscourse and the boundaries problem

I don't talk about a topic if it's not directly related to the main topic of the blog, but I needed to clarify this before explaining the problem syscourse has with this two things

So we all know the three basic stances: - Anti (Against) - Neutral (Self explanatory) - Pro (In favor)

But did you know those aren't the only stances that exist in the world? At least in syscourse I'm the only one that I have seen that got out of the three basic stances to have a different one, oct, and it's a more complex stance, but that's not the topic of this post (Though it's important for a future point)

There are some systems who don't share their stances but set a boundarie and random people (Mostly endos and pro-endos) come and assume their stance based on their boundarie

"I'm ok with endos/pro-endos interacting" People assume they're pro-endo

"I'm uncomfotable with endos/pro-endos interacting" People assume they're anti-endo

"I'm uncomfortable with anti-endos interacting" People assume they're pro-endo

And you know that's a shitty behavior? Didn't someone told you that assuming things about people you don't know it's rude? Didn't someone told you that judging a book by it's cover it's bad? Because that's what people like this are doing

If someone doesn't publicly says their stance you don't know it

I'm not anti-endo and yet still I'm uncofrtable with endos/pro-endos interacting, I know people who are anti-endo but don't like anti-endos interacting, and like this I can go on a long day

People stablishing their boundaries isn't synonym of they saying their stance, and if you assume someone's stance based on a boundary you're part of the problem Yes, I'm aware some boundaries align with some stances, but you can't know if that' the case without the person telling you about that

And then comes the people who feel they're morally superior or shit like that because they break someone's boundaries just to start attacking them or a stances fight (I have seen this in both endos and CDD) and that's a horrible shitty behavior

If you break someone else's boundaries (talking about endo/pro-endo/anti-endo interacting boundaries) you can't get mad if they or someone else breaks yours, you did it first you have to appeal the consequences

The system community is a shitty toxic place thanks to problems like this, if endos and CDD systems don't have basic respect to one another we can't evolve as a better community

Both sides are haters, like to fight and then get mad when people fight back (not everyone, but a lot of people do)

I see this attitude more with endos/pro-endos and that's worst, the same endos/pro-endos that get mad because someone broke their boundary, fight back or just don't feel comfortable with them interacting are the same ones who do shit to that people

If endos/pro-endos come and attack CDD systems just for having a boundary they're just spreading hate and shit, and that system might become an anti-endo just because they harras them, don't you see this kind of people just make their own problem?

None of the two sides is safe, they both complain about the other side bitting but they also bite

Be mature, respect boundaries, don't assume others stances and stop harassing/attacking people with different stances/boundaries

Remember, if you perpetuate one of this behaviors you're not helping anything, your just making this worst and help the problem grow out

Constantly using system to describe ourselves buy hating that term for ourselves is a dialy fight

hui!! were relearning spanish bc its our first language certain alters formed.when we onky spoke it only spesk spansih and i thought you'd find it neat

So you mean some of your alters only speak spanish and now all the sys is re-learning it?? Cool

That's a similar case to us tbh, we have various alters that only speak spanish because it's our first language, but we can speak more english lol

What a good surprise not being the only one like this!!

Sometimes I want to make a discord server for systems to being an actual good server but the I remember that people are shitty most of the time so it would end in shit cause people will just enter to make caos and drama

I find interesting how the english CDD community is more centered around endo drama and spanish CDD community is just fighting itself because of this people who claim themselves to be "activists" and do more anti-recovery shit that I can recall lol