When Do We Remember

When do we remember

a moment?

When we're in it?

When butterflies fill

our chest with bliss,

and we wish

we could linger

in that state of euphoria?

Or do we wait

for the time to be over,

for the person to leave,

for the laughter to turn

into an echo

that haunts us

in our sleep?

Do we wait

for the moment

to become a memory

before we start

to remember

how to feel?

-before we start to remember,

katie, 20:56

To the ladies, gentlemen, and whoever, STOP BLAMING YOURSELF!

Sure, breaking up with the person you planned your whole future with f***ing sucks. I can't even start to imagine how that sh*t diminishes you into a pathetic wailing mess. It's unfair. So do not be too hard on yourself. They left you? I understand, it hurts. But do you have to believe it happened because there's something wrong with you? That you're unlovable? Back off a little bit and try to see things in perspective. Being left behind is hard. Everyone who's ever been there can testify. While it's normal to curse, break, despair, doubt, you have to move forward. The world is always an exhilarating place to explore. Yes, you've been with the worst bunch of people. But leave it there. Give yourself time to grieve, then start walking ahead. Don't let them take away your hope, or change the way you see the world. Teach your mind to be strong enough, firm enough to recognize your true self after you've been shattered so your pieces will always gravitate towards you. Do not let the pain drown your truth. Rise above the noise, the disappointment, the emptiness. Do not let them take away everything. Do not let them change you. Reclaim yourself. Indeed, it's arduous but you have to do it for you, only for you. And believe me, everything will get better in time.

-katie, 22:34

Go!

The doors are open wide

along with my eyes

staring at the nothingness

that used to be a space

filled with heady scents

of love

of joy

of the future

But everything changed

And the wind

that used to sing

me lullabies

now screams

silence

all around

All the sounds

that used to occupy

my mind,

your voice

the way you whisper

lies I believed

to be promises

disappeared

like they've never

been said

Oh you said

you will never

give up

on me no matter

what happens

So what happened

What made

you realize

I am difficult

to love

to understand

No, I am not

calling you back

again

This is me

telling you

to leave

be free

for I don't need

someone who doesn't see

beyond highs

beyond lows

So be free

It's better that you leave

now than later

For later would cause

a wound deeper

than the one I dug

beneath the ground

where I stand

Go!

-katie,21:45

We roll on our backs,

feel the lush grasses

beneath the picnic mat

and we laugh, and we laugh

pointing at the sun

then slowly, we turn

for a glance

We roll on our backs,

reach for the bread crumbs

above our heads

and we dream, and we dream

pointing at the trees

then gently, our hands move

for a caress

We roll on our backs,

feel the weight of the silence

stretching

and we sigh, and we sigh

pointing at the clouds

then painfully, our mouths mumble

our goodbyes

But didn't we promise

a better ending?

As we mourned, as we mourned

our past heartbreaks

Yet here we are

aghast at the truth

that we're back, oh we're back

to strangers!

I still love you despite the mess

and I cry, and I cry

until there are no more tears left

I roll on my back,

watch you drift

then you try, then you try

to wish our love dead

-a better ending, katie

20:30

Image: Pinterest

Now you turned

into the sad

poem

that I wrote

under the glow

of the moon

sulking

with the shadows

dancing

with the trees

while I hum

Oh you turned

into the sad

song

that you sang

under the glow

of the sun

crumbling

with the waves

sweeping

against the shore

while you run

while I hum

Oh we run

while we hum

and I wrote

and you sang

a sad poem

a sad song

Melancholy

dripping

colliding

Oh you sang

Oh I wrote

Yeah we rhymed

then we drifted

as you ran

then I began

to rewrite the ending

-sad poem

katie,22:00

Yes, I cry in the shower

cry rivers of tears

raging

from the corners

of my eyes, they don't dry

I punch the wall so hard

my knuckles hit

the rough cement,

they bleed

stories

that never end

I cry and cry,

the saltiness of

my tears mixes

with the droplets

of water running

down my scalp,

to my face

to my neck

to my chest

where a hole pulsates,

a life escapes

with the mist

fogging

the window

I try

to visualize

happiness but the stream

of thoughts rock

my brain, rip

my skull open

the creaking

dominates

the whimpers

I try to hide

under the guise

of water drenching

my naked body

-droplets running, katie

Image:Pinterest