Benvolio's Number One Fan - Tumblr Posts
thou wrotest like half of them, brother
brb gonna adopt every fictional queer character in existence
👍
Mercutio
from Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
submitted by @probably-an-alien who said:
This is purely based off of vibes alone, but this character just feels somewhat vaguely queer to me.
Swords; drawn
Tits; out
Hotel; trivago
I'd tell you people about the "birthday party incident," as juliet liketh to call it, but I barely remember what had happened on that fateful night; I had drunk lots of wine, and I remember singing and dancing, but the rest is a bit of a blur...
I hope I didn't do anything stupid 😳
prithee, forgive me for mine inexplicable behaviour; 'tis this heat that getteth my mad blood stirring
DOST NOT SPEAK OF BENVOLIO LIKE THAT. I forbid thee from doing so. benvolio is the purest person in this city, and I shall not tolerate thee slandering his noble name
wherefore is this fandom dead I want to resuscitate it
I have tried, tybalt, but I do not want to scare him off... I'm taking it easy and slow...
wherefore is this fandom dead I want to resuscitate it
🫢
I am shocked, tybalt. first of all, thou thinkest I'm a good person???? I thought thou hated me. also, I'm sorry thou canst not be with thy love, 'tis horrid to be separated from those thou lovest the most.
I shall not tell anyone of this, of course. I appreciate thy words of advice.
I'm still scared to talk to him, but perhaps it shall work out
wherefore is this fandom dead I want to resuscitate it
'tis true I was the mercutio
Mercutio: I’ve only said ‘I love you’ to two men before in my life.
Mercutio: Benvolio
Mercutio: And a man in a dark street who I mistook for Benvolio.
aye, I do bite people. next question
fyi, I have bitten:
romeo, because he ate my bagel
benvolio, for various reasons, but not maliciously
tybalt, because sometimes, thou forgettest thy rapier at home
not juliet, because ewwww, girls
paris, for he is an idiot
prince escalus, when I was only one year old and he was changing my diaper. I barely had teeth back then so I do not know what all the fuss is about
valentine, for he is my brother, and thou hast to fight thy brother
rosaline, because she made romeo cry
aye, I do bite people. next question
sorry, I talk of nothing? thou talk'st of nothing but juliet, bromeo!!
I talk of plenty of stuffs; dreams, my cat, how much tybalt sucketh, gay fictional men, music, the climate crisis. oh, and let us not forget that I talk of myself, too, for I am not only humourous, but also interesting, and attractive, and
'tis because he loveth me. learn thy facts ‼️
literally what are you doing
nay; remember cheese? he is the one who brought it home!
benvolio seems like he prefers dogs over cats
confirmation? people have been speculating that I bite people? 😳
I mean. good call
aye, I do bite people. next question
I apologise for my posting. I'm not sure what to do with my blog anymore 😩 but I love it so much, and I'm not planning to abandon it. maybe I should create mine own veronian gossip. maybe confess to my beloved, or snitch on my friends 🤔 or go throw pebbles at tybalt's window. so many options and possibilities
thou canst not see, but I am rubbing mine hands in a mischievous way right now
true, true
benvolio might be the only sane man ever
fuck it
un-montagues your benvolio
(I shall make him an escalus fr)
😌💍
one of you lovely people suggested that I get benvolio flowers and buy the prince a little gift. I like that idea, and 'tis not even stupid like I'd suggested – thank ye!
@urfavmontague 💐⚘️
@prince-of-verone 🎁🎁
btw I'm not sure wherefore I cannot tag the prince, but I tried anyways!
one of you lovely people suggested that I get benvolio flowers and buy the prince a little gift. I like that idea, and 'tis not even stupid like I'd suggested – thank ye!