Break For Serious Topic - Tumblr Posts

This would have helped me in my youth and is still a good reminder to not believe depression when it tries to trick you because it is a liar. Thought I’d boost the signal in case anyone I know might need it, too.

Found this reddit post. This kinda makes me feel better. And it’s something I think about sometimes because I always feel like regardless of how hard I work on something I don’t get anywhere.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

while it is absolutely true that not every abuse survivor turns out to become an asshole or have ugly symptoms because of their trauma, the large majority of characters people bring up to invalidate the trauma of villain/anti-hero abuse survivors (”[hero character] was abused too and he turned out to be a nice person”) don’t show any symptoms at all and their personalities are unrealistically well-adjusted for the trauma they were supposed to have gone through, so if you’re mad abuse survivors flock to villains instead of the hero characters maybe start blaming the writers for barely ever giving the nice guys a realistic approach to trauma ???      

Wise words from a friend. M, you always make me think, and I appreciate that immensely.

i’ve been sitting on writing this for months and months but i’ve finally decided to post it, and it’s not a call out so much as a reach out. i’m simply tired of the wolfstar fandom being silent and uncomfortable because of a fandom monopoly that projects itself as progressive, but is actually disguising beliefs that are making–have made–this fandom mentally exhausting because of their inherent transphobia, effemiphobia, and misogyny. i will leave it under the cut. i have addressed the main source by name. again, not as a call out, because if you know me i hate genuine actual callouts and personal discourse, but rather because i have no other tools when i know criticism keeps being blocked and ignored. think of it as an open dialogue rather than a call out–that goes for people who agree with me, too. don’t weaponize it to bully. i just want a healthy fandom experience (if fandom can even be healthy, but that’s a philosophical debate for another day lol) and so: 

Keep reading

I sat here and stared blankly at my screen for a good five minutes after reading this. Wow. This person’s dad fucking rocks, number one. And what a fucking answer! A lot of the time I’m writing about the need to feel seen. To be known by someone and loved, not in spite of, but because of that knowledge. What about y’all?

my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”

he said, “you have to stop doing that.”

“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.

but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.” 

i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”

as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck. 

“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”

so, my friends: what are you writing about?

This was inspired by two things: 

1- I’m a bisexual woman dating a cis straight man. That doesn’t make me straight, and that doesn’t make my relationship a straight one. That doesn’t mean I belong less in the LGBT+ community than a gay person. 

2- The fourth example was not a joke. I’m in a fandom where two genderless entities with a temporary human shape are paired together. I’ve seen artists get hate because they drew them “looking straight”. The characters are still non-binary, still in love, STILL NOT STRAIGHT. Do not allow this toxic rhetoric in your fandom. Protect artists. 

**Note– Forgot I meant to add aro and ace in there, sorry, but this TOTALLY INCLUDES ARO AND ACE PEOPLE.

THERE IS NO HIERARCHY OF WHAT IS MORE ACCEPTABLE IN THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY. 

Growing up fat, you get made fun of for everything you do, even basic shit like eating and laughing and breathing are funny when you do it because youre fat! And its so hard to not carry that with you as you get older, like I’m still embarassed to eat or dance in front of people or smile in pictures and its ridiculous and I hate it and I wish I was treated with more humanity

Look, I know I’m a small fish in a very large pond, but I’m gonna piggyback off of my betters here and just agree with all that stuff up above. Stop shaming people for their ships. Ship and let ship. It’s not hard. Don’t go into other ships’ tags and be assholes to people. That makes you a troll and a bully. It’s fine to have squicks or even hard nos when it comes to shipping. It’s not okay to attack other people for liking something you don’t. Stop it. There are real people behind these screens. You’re hurting real people when you call them disgusting for reading fiction. 

It’s not up to you to decide whether or not it’s okay for someone else to find something enjoyable if they’re not hurting anyone else. You don’t know the whys behind someone shipping a particular thing or enjoying reading a certain trope or kink. Maybe it’s their way of processing and/or coping with trauma. Maybe they find the dynamics interesting. Perhaps they just like it. No particular reason why. It doesn’t matter. They don’t have to justify their ships, same way you don’t have to justify yours. The difference is they’re not going into your tags, your posts, your fics, or your art and leaving hateful remarks. 

Isn’t there enough hate out in the real world? Why are we bringing it into fandom, too? Hell, the HP fandom in particular already has enough battles to fight with a transphobic creator and quite a few problematic issues in canon, including but not limited to: racism, homophobia, misogyny, and glorified slavery. So please, think before you type. Don’t like? Don’t read. Realize the difference between fiction and reality, and understand that shipping something does not equate to automatically endorsing it in the real world.

And in closing, if you disagree feel free to unfollow me, block me, whatever. I won’t miss antis, and I’m not interested in arguing with haters. One would think we in fandom would know better than this. That having to often justify our love of fandom to begin with, we might be just a bit more compassionate to each other. It’s always disappointing to see ship hate or shaming going on, and it makes me tired. We need to do better, folks. Be kind to each other. It matters, and it can make all the difference in the world.

Look. I don’t usually take part into complicated fandom conversations. I don’t like the drama, I don’t like the hate and asks that come after one does and I don’t feel comfortable with people taking my words and twisting them into meaning I didn’t mean (it has happened before). BUT.

I cannot stay silent anymore. I just can’t. I just saw someone in the fandom that I appreciated and admired for their talent shaming people for what they ship and…. lately it’s happening so fucking often.

I’ll take this opportunity to make a general statement: if you shame people for what they ship, unfollow me. I’m a Harry/Teddy shipper, Draco/Teddy shipper, hell I also ship Harry/Teddy/Draco as a threesome, I’ve read and loved The Evil Devil Child and the Perfect Gift by who_la_hoop which has double incest, both Draco/Scorpius and Harry/Albus Severus and enjoyed it a big deal.

I get it’s not for everyone. That’s valid and everyone has the right to ship and like whoever they want to. But just as you have the right not to like these ships, me and everyone else has the right to like them. WE DO KNOW that they’re not real people, shipping them doesn’t mean we would be incestuous in real life OR that we’re evil.

That’s what had pained me when I got that anon hate about me liking Harry/Teddy: that they said I’m disgusting. How can you throw a personal insult, a personal judgement on me based on what, a fandom ship I like reading and writing about?!

I’m finally taking a position, and writing a post about it, because I’m DEAD SICK of the vibes going around lately in fandom. About how we’re ready to judge and shame people for the ships they like or the kinks they have or like reading about.

God knows how much I suffered because I like Daddy kink as well. People are so ready to judge.

Can we understand, for once, that this is a fictional place? That we’re here to evade reality for a moment, to give a chance to our imagination to run free, to feel free for once?

STOP IT. STOP SHAMING PEOPLE IN FANDOM.

STOP.

IT.

And for the love of God, if you’re antis or have a problem with what I’m saying, UNFOLLOW me.

To critique or not to critique (of the unsolicited kind)

Spoiler alert: I firmly belong to the not camp.

A post just crossed my dash that put the worst taste in my mouth. I don’t want to reblog it, but I do want to address the contents because I think the subject is super important.

The post basically boiled down to: fanfic writers are thin-skinned babies “these days” because no one can take constructive criticism. In “my day” we all sent page-long critiques like the dedicated heroes we were! It made us better writers! Moreover, if I didn’t like something, I told the writer all about it! It was my job!

Hold up, what?

I’ve been posting fanfic online since 1998. Twenty years. Pre-archives. And “in my day” we had betas if we wanted/needed/asked for them (whose critiques didn’t have an audience). We said “concrit welcome” if we actually wanted constructive criticism. We did not show up unannounced to point out a work’s flaws because that is rude. Look, I am an editor. People pay me real money to edit things for them. I would rather cut off my own fingers than burst into someone’s comments and start “critiquing” their work without being asked first.

Here’s something that needs to be addressed: fanfiction is real writing, yes, but it is, by its nature as something that isn’t monetized, a hobby. As in, a thing people do for fun. A thing that hopefully brings both authors and readers joy! The story an author posts is a gift; how dare anyone rip a gift apart in front of the gift-giver and all the other party attendees? How entitled and ungrateful can you be? Fandom is not a frigging battleground where authors learn to harden themselves for war. It’s a hobby. Done out of love and enthusiasm. 

Yes, some fanfiction writers (certainly not all!!) aspire to be original fiction writers. They may use fanfiction as a training ground. They may want or benefit from constructive criticism. Still, they have to ask. They have to start the conversation. I know (think?) it’s harder to find betas these days, but it’s always worth asking around if real critique is what you want. Put “concrit welcome and even begged for” in the author’s notes and hope someone takes you up on it. 

Some fanfiction writers with original fiction aspirations still don’t want criticism about their fic. Fic may be their fun-writing outlet. It may be about instant gratification (and there’s nothing wrong with that; we’re not in the business of denying ourselves pleasure out of some moral superiority here. It’s fandom). It may be the place where they post to get around their fears of showing things to others. It may be the place they take risks they wouldn’t in their original work because the stakes are lower. When you work on your original writing all day, every day—often putting that work through far more vigorous and exhausting paces than fanfic sees—the last thing you want is someone showing up during your time off to point out a frigging comma splice or shift in POV.

The point is unless someone asks for critique, you don’t know what’s going on with them. Maybe fic is the only fun thing they have in their lives. Maybe they’re writing in a different language. Maybe they are 14. Or 82. Maybe they’ve never written fiction of any kind before and this is their baby step forward. Maybe fic is just escapism. Maybe they are depressed or anxious as hell and criticism is going to push them over an edge. Fandom belongs to everyone. Not just people deemed “good” or “perfect” or “permitted” or “thick-skinned.” People don’t need to be saved from grammar mistakes or poor turns of phrase or even plotholes so wide a semi could drive through them. Authors sure as hell don’t need to be told when a reader just doesn’t like something. There is no fandom police force in charge of perfection. If critique is so important to you, advertise your willingness to beta. If you do not like a story or think it’s “bad” hit the freaking back button. 

Unsolicited criticism is not helpful. Maybe you just catch someone off-guard and startle them. At worst, you may totally shatter someone’s self-esteem while they are partaking in a hobby they 100% do for fun—and not in pursuit of some unattainable perfection.

Don’t ruin a stranger’s day or week or hobby because you “know better” and somehow think you need to prove it. You don’t.

An open letter to fanfic readers

Do not leave criticism in fanfic comments. Even if it’s constructive. Even if you’re “just being honest.” This is not traditional publishing, and you should not treat fic in the same way you treat traditionally published works. AO3 comments are not Amazon reviews.

If you want to offer the author criticism, please follow the steps below:

Contact the author to see if they even want your criticism (their vision and intention might be different than yours; this isn’t for-profit publishing, so there’s a chance the author has no desire to make their fic anything than what THEY want it to be. Moreover, unless you’re some kind of literary genius, it’s possible that they might not give a fuck about your opinion)

If they do, provide it in a private forum so that they have the opportunity to accept or reject your criticism outside the public grounds of AO3 comments (what I mean is: CRITICISM IN COMMENTS IS FUCKING HUMILIATING)

Do not be offended if they don’t accept your criticism

Thank them for their time and for listening to you speak your peace

Some additional notes:

Do not leave negative criticism/hate/wank on a WIP (or, see above: ever). Some people are enjoying the story and negativity might (will) make the author fall out of love with what they’re writing such that they don’t want to finish it. Also, you owe it to the author, who is writing FOR FREE, to hear them out to the end of their story in case they end up fixing what you were criticising. 

Do not leave a comment telling the author why you stopped reading the fic. The author isn’t going to fix it and it’s just going to make them sad and feel shitty. Seriously, these types of comments are everywhere and they help NO ONE.

If you read something in a fic you don’t like, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST STOP READING IT. Please don’t let yourself believe that the way you see fic is the way fic ought to be. Everyone likes different things. It’s okay to exit silently. It’s the polite thing to do. 

Do not point out OOC. Ever. Period. End of story. Interpretation is the entire point of fanfic. If you don’t like someone’s interpretation, DO NOT READ IT. You’re not the IC Police.

Avoid backhanded compliments. Please don’t start a comment with, “To be honest I hated this at first, but…” or anything similar. If there is an insult in your comment that is turned positive somehow, it is still an insult, and it is still hurtful.

Please please please, I am begging you, readers of fanfic, to take into consideration that fanfic authors are not celebrities, even if you think they’re super popular and amazing writers and you get hearts in your eyes when they acknowledge you. If you cut them, they will bleed. If you talk to them, they will listen. If you tell them they suck, they will believe you.

Be kind to fanfic authors. They do what they do because they love to do it. Don’t take that away from them by leaving tactless or rude comments.

there’s no rule as to how big or how small you’re allowed to dream. if you just want a small home and an orange kitchen and four cats that’s just as reasonable of a goal to work for as a big new york penthouse. and if all you really want is a simplistic career that isn’t the center of your life then that’s just as valid as dreaming of becoming a famous fashion designer or ceo. i know everyone keeps urging you to dream big, but dreams can be as simple and small as you want. they’ll always be valid. you decide how you want to live and what kind of life you want, no one else.

I posted this last year, & as another TDoV has come I figured I would share a bit of progress on my personal journey & some thoughts on the state of things for trans rights in my country.

As of this month, I've been on testosterone for a year & a quarter, & while I have experienced some changes I was looking forward to, I am still misgendered daily. I will probably never pass as a transmasculine person, but I'm doing my best to come to terms with that.

A fully positive experience was finally having top surgery at the beginning of February. My healing for that has gone pretty well overall, & the euphoria I get from having a flat chest has been so incredibly validating that I can't adequately put it into words.

That said, I have experienced transphobia going out in public, from occasional customer service workers & other customers in stores, & even from medical professionals during a recent health scare (I am recovering, no worries there).

My home state has a bill on the docket that would ban HRT for minors & prevent anyone from having their birth certificate amended after they are a year old. I have not yet begun the process of changing my gender markers on any of my legal documents, so this would directly affect two of my transition goals.

Similar bills have already passed in several states in the US, & many more are being introduced & discussed in others. The attacks on the civil rights of transgender people in the US are relentless right now, & the fearmongering & moral panic regarding trans people is at an all time high.

We need our cis & het allies now more than ever because we cannot protect our rights on our own. Our voices, though loud, are often drowned out by the opposition, & even those not directly opposed to trans rights aren't taking the situation here as seriously as they should.

Trans people are people, the same as anyone else, & all we want is to live our lives as ourselves & be afforded the same rights & dignity that cis people are afforded without question. As a visibly trans person living in the Bible Belt of the southern US, I am afraid that my very personhood may be stripped away from me soon.

It isn't a nice way to live, & moving somewhere safer isn't an immediate possibility for me. It's not feasible at all for many people. These transphobic bills & laws need to be met with strong opposition, & we need to fight just as hard to have protections for trans civil rights coded into law.

I am doing what I can, & I implore you all to do the same, be you cis or trans. We're all in this together, & we need each other now more than ever. Compassion & hope are what I wish for all my trans siblings on this day, & may our next TDoV find the world a more accepting place.

Happy International Transgender Day of Visibility from your friendly neighborhood nonbinary owl!

This makes.. so much sense in retrospect. I'm relieved & pissed off at the same time. So much of my negative self image as a child & onward can be tied back to things that I now know are related to my ADHD, & I'm just.. thrown. Things may or many not have been different if I'd known sooner, but I'd have an answer for so much that bothered me or made me feel inadequate. That would've been something.

UH WHAT

UH...... WHAT.........

You know, one time I read a fanfic and it triggered my psychosis, sent me into a month long episode THEN a whole year later I was on ao3 just mindlessly scrolling, I came across the fanfic title and it gave me a panic attack, but something compelled me to click it, i didn't read it but i did scroll through it, why? mental illness.

So like... ya

This is me responding to your old(?) post about someone else's fiction not being able to hurt you, this is probably just a me thing but mental illness makes you do things and react to things in insane ways that sometimes you cant control. I knew while reading that it was affecting me in some way, but I kept reading because well, I'm mentally ill, and then a month of my life dissapeared lol

I think I'm trying to make a point about something but I'm not sure

I did after the fact comment to the author and just kinda, told them about what happened, but I didn't harrassed them or something, -

-but when something does what this fanfiction did to me then you're basically obligated to let the creator know I think(they are a really good writer), I'm an adult and the fanfic was in the ballpark of something I would read and if like, 59% of it was taken out and it had a happy ending I would be fine but oh well

Oh boy, I'm starting to have a panic attack just typing this out holy hell anyways uh, I'm not disagreeing with you(?) but I am saying, don't be too quick to dismiss someone who says a piece of fiction fucked with them? idk sorry, have a good one

My friend, the fiction didn't harm you.

Your mental illness harmed you.

Random writers on the internet are not responsible for managing your mental illness for you.

You are responsible for managing your mental illness.

I knew while reading that it was affecting me in some way, but I kept reading because well, I'm mentally ill

This is self harm. You were engaging in self-harming behavior by continuing to read a fanfiction that you knew was triggering to you.

👉 You are responsible for managing your mental illness.

👉 Writers are not responsible for managing your mental illness for you.

And I hate to tell you this but messaging the author about it was absolutely harassing the author.

I feel so called out rn. 🤣😭😳

guess i'll put this here too, even though its past the day in my timezone lol

"Why can't the freaks on AO3 just go and make a site for all the gross stuff and leave AO3 alone."

Because AO3 is that site. Because AO3 was that site long before you decided AO3 was better than the sites you bullied us off of before, and I can promise you if someone somehow comes up with a fanfic site you like better specifically for the 'gross stuff' you'll try to bully us off that too so you can benefit from it.

AO3's specific core purpose is to preserve fanfiction, yes, but it was also instigated as a host site for the fanfiction that kept getting yeeted off other platforms like Wattpad. Its designed to preserve all fanfiction, not just the fanfiction you, personally, think is 'allowed' to be written.

AO3 is the site for all the gross stuff the freaks make. We've been there just as long as you. We've been funding it just as long as you have. AO3 has specifically said you have a place here. The timeline was literally:

Wattpad/FF.net/LiveJournal purge fanfics > AO3 is born > The people who's fics got purged moved over to AO3 > AO3 gains popularity as the best functioning site > The people who pushed for the fics to be purged off Wattpad move to AO3 > The same people try to push for AO3 to purge fics.

AO3's source coding is open-access. You go make a polished, strict, rigid site where nothing 'icky' is allowed. You go make a site where you can control what is hosted. We already have our space.