Chat Post - Tumblr Posts
Person A *revising science*: What are the three types of radioactive decay?
Person B *reading fanfiction*: Alpha, beta and omega
Person A:
Person B: What?
Person A *trying not to laugh*: You just said omega
Person B: Sh*t! GAMMA! I MEANT GAMMA!
Person A: I'm so happy, I'm going to cry!
Person B: Think of puppies in blenders
Person A: WhAt?
Person B: At least you're not gonna cry anymore.
Person A: Kill yourself.
Science teacher: Lipase is called that because fatase would sound dumb
Me and friend: *understanding noises*
*science teacher leaves*
Friend: fatase sounds like fat ass *starts laughing*
Me: *stares at friend before laughing as well* Duuude!
Person A: So why did you break up with your girlfriend?
Person B: I'm not gonna tell you.
Person A: Come on, we're close.
Person B: FINE...promsie you won't laugh?
Person A: Of course!
Person B: I...I f**ked her too much.
Person A: WHAT!
Person C: What's going on?
Person A: B broke up with their girlfriend because they f**ked her too much.
Person C: WhAt!
Me: *trying to get that tiny bit of pesto pasta on my fork at lunch*
Friend: That's a mood.
Me: Wot?
Friend: That pasta thing you're doing, such a mood.
Me: suuuuuurrrrre.
Hey! Going into this second lockdown, I was wondering if anybody would like to start a chat? I think it would be good. We can talk about anything, message me if you’re interested! 🤍🖤
(Roleplay) Dominating succubuses part two
//in a casual day golden was walking through his Frozen Forest but he could smell something funny.....like... love juices but then he followed the smell and found an albino succubus masturbating//
//the albino succubus was wearing a white and grey hoodie that was covering her body, but inside her hoodie she was wearing a short shirt showing her bottom boobs, tight pants that shows her butt and pussy, her hair was black with short and curly, her boots were fluffy white boots her body was a pear she had more butt than tits//
Albino succubus: *squish squish* aah hah mngh
Golden: *whispered to himself* oh wow that but looks amazing *drooled*
Albino succubus: *her ears perked up* huh?! Who's out there?!
Golden: *his mind* crap! For such a succubus she has a really good sense of hearing
Albino succubus: *searching were the sound came from*
Golden: *his hair and clothes turned white same as his scar and eyes, then he disappeared in the cold snow*
Albino succubus: HA! *She saw nothing were she thought she heard it from* huh? There's nobody..
Golden: huh what do we have here?
Albino succubus: AAH!
Golden: well sorry to scare you~ *he smirked
Albino succubus: y-you're Golden right?
Golden: yup that's me
Albino succubus: well this time I will fuck you until your soul is on hell!! *She tackles golden making him lay down on the cold snow*
Golden: oof! H-hey take it eas-!!!
Albino succubus: *she shut Golden's mouth and ties his hands and legs on the ground*
Golden: *his mind* uh oh! Her magic is way more stronger that the other succubus I firstly fucked!
Albino succubus: hehehe now I won't have mercy on you ik that your favorite position is the cowgirl~ *she cast a spell that makes Golden's cock really sensitive and hard, and takes off his clothes by melting them*
Golden: mm!!! *Cold didn't affect him, his cock was throbbing and pre-cumming a lot*
Albino succubus: hehehehe! You're mine!! *She just slammed his dick inside her and slammed his dick fast* *WAP WAP SLAP*
Golden: *instantly cums inside her as his dick remains hard and keep getting fucked by her* mmf!! Mm hmm!!
Albino succubus: Ahh haah it's Soo bi-i-ig! Hah oooh! *She kept fucking his soul out pumping her ass up and down his 18inch cock inside her pussy*
Golden: *he felt drowsy as he kept cumming inside her* mmf nngh
Albino succubus: haahn! Oh yess more! I want all of your seed *kept fucking him rougher*
Golden: *he faints* mmf
Albino succubus: yes! He is dead! That was really easy~
//Then Madeline the alpha succubus came//
Madeline: Akela what are you doing?
//Akela is the albino succubus's name//
Akela: ah! Madam succubus! *She gets off Golden's dick and bows down*
Madeline: hmph why were you doing this to one of our favorite human? *Walks to Golden's corpse grabbing his soul and kneeling next to his body putting it against his body*
Golden: AAH!!! *Squishes her boob next to her other boob with his face*
Madeline: oh~ *giggles*
Golden: mmf! Who are you?!
Madeline: I'm Madeline the alpha succubus or the Royal succubus nice to meet you~ *she gives a cute smile*
Golden: ohh uhh nice to meet you too? *Stares at her boobs that her nipples were bulging out of her sexy clothing* umm
Madeline: eyes up here big boy~ *giggles*
//She was 8½ feet tall she is bigger than all of the succubuses and has these massive boobs and super thick body and thighs with juicy bubble butt and a sexy dress with lingerie and arm warmers//
Golden: Y-yes!
Akela: madam succubus I was just killing this mortal for dominating Hannah! In revenge fo-!
//Hanna was the first succubus golden has dominated//
Madeline: enough! Go back to the castle now *she points out next to Akela and a portal opened*
Akela: aww ok *she flies in the portal and disappeared*
Madeline: don't worry Golden she won't be messing with you again
Golden: well uh ok is she your um
Madeline: yes she is my champion
Golden: no wonder it was really tough to get freed
Madeline: yes indeed you might practice your curse more often to sex problems
Golden: talking about my dick, it hurts a lot I can't even stand up
Madeline: well let me help you *she crawled in front of his sensitive cock and began to kiss it multiple times but gently from his balls to the tip slowly curing him*
Golden: mf ooh *his cock getting harder each time she kissed it* aah mistress
Madeline: *smooches* *giggles* does that feel better? *Smooches and went halfway to the tip*
Golden: aah it feels great aah nngh *his body trembling as his cock was fully erect and throbbing*
Madeline: *she reached the tip giving it a long kiss to it then kissing it multiple times and began to put it inside her mouth* mm~ *slurp*
Golden: aahh ooh God huff your mouth oohh it's so good haah *throbbing and pre-cumming a lot in her mouth
Madeline: *slurp shlorp, gurgle, gurk slorp shlorp* mm *she kept sucking his whole dick inside her mouth making him feel better*
Golden: ahh m-mistress I'm cumming! *He unleashes a huge amount of cum inside her mouth*
Madeline: *shlorp gulp, gulp slurp, gulp* mmf! Sucking his dick clean not dripping a single drop of cum* *shlooorp* *pop!* Mmm *gulp* aah You feel better?~
Golden: hah haah haah yes I feel better now
Madeline: good, rest for now sweetie you need it~ *kisses Golden's forehead and cast's a spell that makes him sleep instantly* *smooch*
Golden: ookkaayyy..*flops back*..*snoring like a little baby*
Madeline: *she puts golden inside a tent she summoned from her realm and put golden inside covering with a cushion keeping him warm* bye sweetie~ *she opened a portal and enters it*
//The portal closes and golden sleeps for 4 days straight next to his castle//
To be continued.....
Charlie: Would you rather Kill Angel or-
Alastor: Kill him.
Charlie: Uh, Al, you didn't even hear the other options.
Alastor: Don't need to, I'd kill him.
Angel Dust: ...Feelin' a little unsafe.
Lucifer: I want to tell you a joke, but all I remember is the punchline.
Lilith: Go ahead.
Lucifer: Tooth-hurty.
Lilith, giggling: When is the best time to go to the dentist.
Lucifer, smiling like a dope: You complete me~
me: *makes thing*
me: I hope people like this thing
people: Wow your thing is really great!
me: No, you're wrong, it's terrible, I'm awful at this
*sparring for training*
Naruto: Prepare yourself, Sakura! For my special attack!
Sakura: Pfft, I can take anything you throw at me!
Naruto: *reaches into his pocket and throws a card at Sakura*
Sakura: W- ... was that a Pokémon card?
Naruto: What Pokémon was it?
Sakura: Squirtle?-
Naruto: *sprays Sakura in the face using his water bottle*
Sakura: ...
Naruto: *stifles a laugh* he used water gun.
Sakura: *laughing softly* Oh my god, Naruto...
Temari: Alright... what movie do you want to see?
Shikamaru: Barbie.
Temari: ... what?
Shikamaru: Barbie?
Temari: Shikamaru... I don't want to watch a movie about a childrens toy...
Shikamaru: You watched Mario with your brothers, that was targetted for kids!
Temari: I grew up with Mario, that was different!
Shikamaru: Pleeease?
Temari: No!
*in the movie theatre*
Temari: *crossing her arms* You're lucky I love you.
Shikamaru: I know I am. Thank you, Tema~
Temari: *grumbling* you're welcome.
Hidan: *eating a bunch of cooked vegetables*
Deidara: I thought you hated vegetables, hm
Hidan: Oh, yeah, I thought so too. Turns out, I actually really like em, but Kakuzu can't cook for shit
Deidara: What made you realise, hm?
Hidan: Tobi cooked em for me
Deidara: ... Tobi can cook?
Hidan: Yeah, he's really fucking good at it too
Tobi: Hidan! Stop saying good things about me, you'll upset the dead!
Hidan: *chokes on his food while laughing* What do you mean, I'll upset the dead?!
Tobi: Well... most people don't like hearing their murderer be complemented.
Hidan: How many people have you even killed?
Tobi: ...
Hidan: .....
Deidara: ...
Tobi: go back to eating your carrots, hidan.
Hidan: No! You didn't answer me!
Tobi: *leaves the room*
Hidan: HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU FUCKING KILLED?!
Hidan: TOBI!!!
Sasuke: Sakura, don't say anything. I will cry.
Sakura: ........... anything. Wait- SHIT-
Sasuke: *covers his face with his hand, silently chuckling*
Sakura: *turns to him and grabs his shoulders* PLEASE DON'T CRY SASUKE, I'M SORRY.
Sasuke: *slowly starts laughing louder and louder*
Sakura: You cry... really weirdly.
Sasuke: You're such a smart ass! That's not what I meant!
Sakura: Yeah, but it cheered you up, didn't it?
Sasuke: *sighs, leaning into her* Yes, it did.
Sakura: *breathes in deep and sighs* Ah. It's the holiday season! The time of year where I get to fight 30 other mothers for the limited edition games for my nephews!
Sasuke: What do you mean, fight?
Sakura: *cracking her knuckles* Anything my precious nephews want, they'll get.
Sasuke:
Sasuke: Sakura, please don't kill anyone.
Sakura: No promises!
Kakashi: Would you kill your best friend for one million dollars?
Obito: I'd kill you for a grape I wouldn't even eat.
Deidara: Hey, kiss me if I'm wrong, but there's snow outside, right?
Tobi: ... Senpai, it's the middle of summer. There's no snow.
Deidara: Ah. That's a shame. Guess you gotta kiss me, hmm.
Tobi: ...
Deidara: ...
Tobi: ... no.
Deidara: Just once.
Tobi: No!
Deidara: PLEASE!!!
Sasuke: Sakura...
Sakura: Yeah?
Sasuke: I want to try... being more affectionate in public... is that okay?
Sakura: O-of course! Absolutely!
*later that day*
Sasuke: *talking to Naruto and Shikamaru on the street*
Sakura: *walks up to them and slaps Sasuke's ass, holding her hand there* What's up, fellas!
Sasuke: *covers his face, blushing* This isn't what I meant, Sakura!
Naruto: *sitting on a bench* Hmm...
Sakura: What's up, Naruto?
Naruto: How do they pick...
Sakura: What??
Naruto: How do they pick which babies are used to make baby oil??
Sakura: I- ...
Sakura: *sits next to him* ... Hmm...
Gaara: Lee-kun, I bought you some new shirts.
Rock Lee: Really? For me? Aw, Gaara, that's so- ...
Gaara: What is it?
Lee: You bought these for me to wear until they pick up my scent and you can steal them. Didn't you.
Gaara: What? Why on earth would I do that? Don't be silly...
Lee: ... I'm onto you, sir. I'm going to try them on, but mark my words... I'm onto you.