Contradictory Labels - Tumblr Posts
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
"wait but how can that work ?" instead of asking how their queer identity works, and how can it be valid, maybe ask them their experiences. ask how it feels to themself being a mspec mono, or lesboy, or turigirl, or whatever. instead of getting angry at queer identities which dont fit your standard, just perhaps let it go and ask them as a person what their identity means to them. stop policing identities and open up your mind a little.
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! 📢📢
The queer community really normalized the words for fluidity and multigenderism but not the experiences at all.
I'm not the first to make this type of post, but I'm gonna go beyond just what the original said (and I'll edit this to include a link when I find the original again on my dash because it usually shows up once a week): we've normalize words like boygirl but most people haven't normalized actually being a boy and a girl, or a man and a woman, at the same time, and for fluidity they don't normalize actually being a boy or man and being a girl or woman at different times. Instead "boygirl" is just used like a label for androgyny or worse neutrality (nothing wrong with being neutral but being a boy and a girl is NOT that). We normalize the words bigender and genderfluid but never recognize them as actually having multiple genders. Bigender people are treated like half and half, and together androgynous or neutral instead of both of their genders at once, and genderfluid people are just seen like nonbinary people who use different pronouns and different times. We normalize the words but we don't normalize being sapphic and achillean, veldian and lesbian, a lesbian man or a veldian woman, straight and lesbian or straight and veldian. The things that are experienced by multigender people. We normalize the words but we don't allow bigender people to identify with anything other than "bigender" and we don't allow genderfluid people to identify with anything other than "genderfluid." If they want to label their orientations their options are mspec, trixic, toric, and enbian, and anything else is wrong. They're never allowed to say they're straight, and if they are allowed to be veldian/achillean or lesbian/sapphic (and they only get to pick one), they must degender themselves and pretend they don't experience womanhood or manhood.
Similarly, we normalize the word abrosexual but many don't allow abrosexuals to identify as anything but abro. They're not allowed to identify as any of the orientations they experience, even with some regularity. They might be allowed an mspec term - but they're never allowed to say they're veldians, or lesbians, and god forbid they identify as both. Even when they're experiencing being one of those things, it's not "allowed" for them to use the terms because the community deemed fluidity as not *really* the things they experienced because it's not permanent.
If we are gonna normalize the labels of multigender, genderfluid, and abrosexual can we actually get it in our heads that some people are multiple full genders at once, and if they're a man, a woman, and nonbinary, they are AS MUCH of a man as any monogender man, AS MUCH of a woman as any monogender woman, and JUST AS NONBINARY as any monogender enby? Can we get it though our heads that some people experience multiple full genders at different times, and they are AS MUCH of a man as any statically gendered man when they experience manhood, AS MUCH of a woman as any statically gendered woman when they experience womanhood, and JUST AS NONBINARY as any statically gendered enby when they experience enbanhood? Can we get it through our heads that some people experience multiple orientations at different times, and they are AS MUCH of a lesbian when they experience lesbianism, AS MUCH of a veldian when they experience veldianism, JUST AS STRAIGHT as any other straight person when they feel themselves straight, and JUST AS MSPEC when they experience attraction to multiple genders?
(there's also people who experience multiple orientations at once, statically, but we haven't even been normalized yet so. Yeah.)
; do I understand every single specific of this persons queer identity ?? No. Does that mean they're invalid, lying and / or ruining my day ?? Also no.
'trans men have the lesbian label forced on them when they're heterosexual' and 'trans men can be lesbians' are concepts that do coexist. The point here, for anyone who may have missed it, is that identity is up to the individual and not what someone else decides for them, which includes forcing a trans man to identify as straight when they don't identify as such. You cannot be willing to dismantle the expectations of sex and gender without the will to let go of your little rules to sexuality. Things just happen that don't fit preconceived boxes, get over it.
:33 < youcannot support a community if youdont support everyone. youcant support the lgbtqia2s+ community if youdont support two spirits, or lesboys, or contradictory labels, or aplatonics, or xenogenders, or trans people who dont actively present as their gender whether by choice or not, and more. youcant say you support the community if youdont actually support it. either support the community as a whole or dont and get out.