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My heart died that day. I didn't know hearts could actually die until I started feeling mine slip away into another dimension; somewhere cold, somewhere dark, somewhere there's no you. All our memories tumbled down like tears rolling themselves into oblivion. Those long conversations finally reached a dead end; turned themselves around and started marching back to the lips that breathed life to them.

I felt it all. How our eyes stopped exchanging warm gazes. How we suddenly shunned each other's call. How love departed from my system like a soul leaving its earthly form. Not that all of these matter now that I have turned dark and cold. But there are certain points in time and space, some worthy coordinates that remind me of everything. Sometimes it all comes back to me. The love, the you, the time we left behind.

I am sorry I have to die that way. That I have to choose freedom over you. That I have to choose power over you. They say "Love is never real. There's no such thing in nature. Humans invented it, a spell for their females to indulge themselves with when they can't have power." Everything is a concept. The euphoria, the maddening twists of emotions- all of these are concepts. None of which are lasting. So I let my heart wither away like a plant. You held it tight before it died, squeezed it so hard that all your claw marks were etched on it, a beautiful proof that in spite of yourself, you never really wanted to let go.

I am looking at these marks now as I ponder on the daunting serenity of this new dimension where I loiter like a lost soul. They say love doesn't exist. I've been told so many times that there's no such thing in nature. But while I create new memories with myself, waves of emotions so strong come back to me. Like ropes, they bind me to the you I try so hard to forget. I am always trapped between the pangs of forgetting and remembering. My mind, no matter how I confine it within my control, it always wander back to where I came from. To the place where I left all the memories of you.

Sometimes I want to come back. However my love, I cannot. For the heart that gave life to my universe died that day. That day when you were too proud to look me in the eye and say it's over. Well, you didn't really have to. I felt it when you leaned to kiss me for the last time. Your lips, oh love your lips was nothing but a cold and dead and numb flesh touching my slowly desolating soul.

-Back to where I came from,

Katie, 23:15

Image:Pinterest

I don't wanna close my eyes when we kiss. For even the briefest moment of not seeing your face makes me miss you,

So much...

Katie, 24:00

Like the snow,

The rain,

And the shooting stars,

You will fall for me

Deeply

Irrevocably

Mark my words

-Destined to fall

(Mark my words)

-Katie, 15:30

Image: Pinterest

She looks at him like he’s the lighthouse that brought her home.

Katie, May 22nd